Argh!!!

wa...i feel so sianz now la...haiz...i tink i realli overload myself today liao...too long nv chu power liao...den now chu power to muc power liao den overload...sianz ar...i feel so sianz ar...haiz...duno wat to write oso...i realli wish tt i can venge my anger sumhow sia...now i dam sianz...i duno wat to do...or wat to write...
sianz lor...i tot i recoverin from my berserk pt liao...but lik wat the hell is dis la...sianz ar...wao lao...dam freak la...y m i livin in dis world...sux man...i feel so tired now man...i feel tt my shoulder veri tired liao lor...ppl say wat...shoulder lik tt means too muc stress...i bet hu ever said tt is rite man...i realli goin crazy liao ar...cant tink...sianz ar sianz ar...haiz...
duno wat to write liao la...sianz ar...dun write le la...
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24hrRu!
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msg of e day:wth is wrong!

happi bday to wei xuan

today...nth muc la...met shi yan n vivian den brought dem to my mother shop makan...den after tt i went off for my ambulance attachment...veri slack sia...didnt do muc la...serious slackin onli...but den infront of the fire station got a accident even b4 we were dere for 1/2 h lor...veri loud sia...but luckily dun hav anyone injuried...haha...
PS: pls click dis link b4 u continue readin http://easylink.playstream.com/happybirthday/reggae.wax
den cum back home lor...nth muc...den juz now i wished wei xuan happi bday...haha...gav her a BIG surprise...wich sort of made her frighten sick...i veri bad hor...haha...anyway i dedicate dis entry to her la...dun say dun hav hor...here is a priceless present tt u wun get elsewhere...haha...hope tt u hav a wonderful bday....n oso hope tt all ur wish cum true...anyway older one year liao...so how...feelin old liao ma...haha...:P no la not old la...still young n kickin...;)
anyway juz another testimontial for u...erm...no each other for 9 mths liao worz...ops...tts means givin birth liao rite...haha...jkjk...i referin to the birth of another beautiful frienship...haha...wat were u tinkin...anyway u had been a nice friend to mi...n of course to the rest of the ppl...veri critical worz...mi jealous liao...haha...can tink of so mani creative ideas...haha...oso muz say veri impressed wit the way u went all out to try to help mi solve huimin prob...haha...10z worz...den oso a gd adviser...got prob u sure can tink of sth to at least cheer ppl up...haha...actually say so muc hor...all lik regardin u help ppl one hor...wa...veri bz sia...always help ppl...till the extend tt sumtimes get urself involved...tsk tsk...haha...but seriously its veri nice of u la...
anyway i feel so sori...coz i still haven giv u ur pay...haha...:P but isnt dis better den a pay check...haha...anyway...happi birthday once again...keep smilin...take care...
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24hrRu!
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happi birthday to u...
zhu ni shen re kuai le...
happi birthday to wei xuan...
zhu ni shen re kuai le...
msg of e day: wat u waitin for...make a wish la...haha...:P

freak dose juniors

wat the hell lor...sum bloody idoit shoot mi in rebecca blog...wat the hell the person wans la...y leh...humji ar...dun dare to put ur name...if u realli tink u r rite den y dun u walk up to mi n scold mi rite in the face...coz u scared...n u bloody hell dun drag zhongyi into dis...if u wan to target mi den cum for mi...dun drag my brother in...y leh humji muz use such methods to scold mi...freak man...
i oredi veri tired tryin to help dance...tryin to giv it a push...n now dis...how do u expect mi to continue...i treat everyone veri nicely one lor...treat as my own brothers n sisters...even for ppl lik wah teck hu i keep punishin...seriously i oso look out for him one lor...seriously dun appreciate nvm...but even cum n shoot mi...tts too muc for mi to take...dis case made mi feel tt i hav realli wasted my time at dance...now i duno if i shld continue a not...zhongyi always say if u r not dose popular type of ppl dun try to b one...so dis this mean tt i shld adopt the tranny style...wat the hell does tt person wan la...i feel so sad for the other juniors hu hav to sabo by dis hai qun zhi ma...
better dun try to do anymore backstabin or tokin bhind my back...u wan den cum attack mi face to face...i will make sure everyone witness it...so if u r rite...den i m done for...isnt tt wat u wan...cum on prove it den...coward...
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24hrRu!
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msg of e day:enemies in the dark r nth but cowards of no challenge

work

today nth muc la...mt lost her voice so take her place at work lor...woke up onli at 1230...den reach my mother shop at 130...haha...slack sia...ok la...but quite tirin...
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24hrRu!
wa...yesterday nite slp late coz got one friend sort of depression...coz she cant handle the fact tt the guy she lik dun lik her...aiya...she still small wat...so cannot blame her for being so immature...but still veri worried for her la...coz duno wat foolish things she will do lor...she hav the habit of cuttin her hand...i hope nth bad happens to her...from yesterday nite until now still dun hav ani news from her...anyway i wan to 10 wei xuan for tryin to help mi out regard her prob...:)
msg of e day:no matter hu it may b, a helpin hand is always heart-warmin

opera

today went to c opera performance wit mt n yong xuan...dun b mistaken...its bcoz kai wei dey all got perform den go pong chang...haha...den after deir part we leave liao...veri bad rite...haha...nvm la...its free...:P den after tt go backstage find kai wei dey all...a lot of jokes back dere...quite noisy...i tink we disturbed the performance wich haven end...:p
den we went to chinatown to eat supper...i had sesame paste...it sux lik shit lor...it was lik putin the grined sesame seeds into the soup lik tt...totally not wat it suppose to b...but anyway i had a fun day...although the first half of the day i was rottin at home b4 meetin mt at bugis...haha...
today feelin better le...seriously i dun understand y i was so upset yesterday...its not my loss wat...its not as if she is the world or sth...she is not even sumone hu i lik...but i guess...i got sum sort of phobia for being cheated...i no i oso cheat others from time to time la...but i hav nv cheated sumones feelin b4 lor...coz i myself cant stand it...so how do i expect others to lik being cheated rite...
but watever it is la...i realli hope tt i can sort things out quickly...coz i dun hav muc time left...once sch reopen den i wun hav time to deal wit all dis stuff...worse still i will hav more prob to tink abt...
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24hrRu!
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hav u ever tot abt wat life means to u...mi? erm...i dun hav a definite answer yet...but if u rephrase the qn to wat is the purpose of life...den mayb i got a few answers...but one firm answer is to pay my debt...wat debt u might ask...well...sum of u might b able to recall the story of how i escaped death...hmm...seriously although it was nth veri significant to mani...even to dose hu save mi...but to mi it was the turnin pt of my life...i hav bcum a better person...more responsible more sensible stuff lik tt...n the debt tt i m tokin abt got 2 kind...one is debt to my saviour...den another is dose tt i owe sth to...tts y my life wasnt taken...actually deres more things tt can b toked on dis topic...but i dun feel lik continuein on it liao...so mayb next time ba...
msg of e day:debts r meant to b repaid,n dey shld...

freakin hell

i duno wats goin on wit mi la...everything i do lik is wrong lik tt...or at least to everyone else la...sux lor...i mean lik my startin pt was out of concern...but things juz hav to turn out sour...wat the freak man...does dis mean i hav to b nasty n all...i feel so cheated...of my time n feelins...make until i veri scare liao lor...
dis is not the first time liao lor...sux man...wat does she wan from mi la...as if i m sum sort of toy...she lucky she gal...if not i make sure she die ar...fish man...but she better dun do anymore funi stuff le...if not i duno wat i will do to her sia...i feel tt dis year is a total waste lor...in the past 6 mths...kana cheated 2 times...m i a idoit or wat...i realli duno wat to say lor...sux man...
wat dose everyone wan from mi...was i saved juz to let u ppl squeeze mi dry den after tt let mi die izzit...hate my life man...y cant b sum sort of restart button or sth...
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24hrRu!
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ok...dis is a real big prob...i m bcumin too lame...dis is not normal...i hope its not a side effect of being too depressed or sth lik tt...seriously i got the feelin tt i will explode anitime soon lor...i veri scare tt it will happen...ppl readin dis might tink i m sum sort of psycho...mayb u r rite...mayb i m one...
i duno wats wrong wit my mind...coz i cant tink properly...i tried many methods to try to sort out my tots...but dey r of no use...sux man...if onli sumone can help mi...but hu...i tried tokin to all sorts of ppl...but no effect...freak sia...
aiya...dun wan write le la...the more i write the more frusrated i get...
anyway hu ever got probs can approach mi for counsellin or advisin...at least tt will keep mi occupied...n stop tinkin of dose unhappi stuff...
msg of e day:wat m i to u...

Day 3 at perth

Today is the nan hua open house rite… juz now when I called back to sg I asked abt it la… gd job ppl…the next up cumin event is dance camp liao…u all muz enjoy it hor…although mani of us wun b able to make it la…but still try to hav fun lor…

Basically today nth special la…so nth muc to write…but later goin for shoppin…so ya lor…haha…ok la I tink I stop here for today la…take care ppl…
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24hrRu!
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CLOSED
msg of e day:ur voice is the sound of hope…

Day 2 in perth

Hmm…today had a tour of UWA la…den after lessons lor…haha…dozed off…as usual…den lunch…n as usual the lunch was ex la…den my friend treat mi to a drink la…basically the drink is almost SGD3 lor…so u shld no how ex it is la…n it is nth special lor…its juz a bottle of 600ml coke…

Den after when to the beach la…den had a bit unhappiness wit the grp tt I was in charge as a cca leader…but I was cheered up by the atmosphere put up by my own grp…I was fun…the view was great too…took quite a lot of pics la…haha…

Basically I dun wan to go into too muc details abt my day la…coz its rather routine la…so ya lor…but den one thing is I m oredi counting down to the day when I go back to sg liao…I missed everyone so muc lor…after I cum back muz get together sia…if not I will die sia…haha…now other den missin everyone over dere…I oso got 2 other things on mind…

The first thing is the challenge tt I mention in the previous entry la…erm…I tink I m still struggling lor…I keep getting the urge to call back to my friends lor…haiz…no determination hor…sad la…

The second thing is kind of private la…but one thing tt is confirm is tt I really hav to tink abt it seriously lor…if not I will get hurt or I might hurt sumone…worse of all I might lose a friend…mayb if the person is smart enuff she can guess wat is dis abt la…but I dun tink I will elaborate on dis anymore today…I tink I will stop here…goin to bath liao…haha…

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24hrRu!
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CLOSED
msg of e day:every wound heals by itself, but heartaches take too long…

Day of departure

11/23/2004
Today woke up 5 in the morning...i den a finally check on my stuff…finally I m departin for Australia…I m at e the same time exciting…yet oso sad…coz I hav to leave n part wit my family n friends… as u all shld no la…I m a “ppl” person…so I take dis things seriously…so to mi dis is more den a short study trip…it is at the same time a challenge to myself…coz dis time I m really alone…ya I no…I still hav my friends from jj…but still it will diff…the way u guys n tink n dey tink is diff…diff ppl hav diff perceptions wat…so ya la…I hope I can go back to sg sayin tt I passed wit flyin colours…

Anyway today I was really touched by a few ppl…in fact yesterday nite oso la… at first chu yun msg mi her regards…den b4 I slp I was tokin to daryl… he n another person gav mi advise n tips abt Australia lor…10z worz…den after tt zhongyi called…he finished sum documentation of the leadership course yesterday afternoon…really appreciate his help…coz I goin on dis trip wat…so didn’t do it on myself…so lik tt lor…10z worz zhongyi…

Den side track abit…yesterday course was quite successful la…but apologies to dose sec 3 ppl…coz the whole thing was a bit too heavy…but I m sure dey benefited from the course in a way or another lor…so ok la…n we seniors could say tt our efforts were paid off…

Back to the main topic…den after tt in the midnite…kai sheng called n sent mi regards n best wishes… den early in the morning abt 5.15 lik tt wei xuan msg mi worz…first for the day…so gan donged…den after tt followed by Rebecca n wei hong lor…den after I check-in my luaggage I called Rebecca to hav a last chat wit her…its so weird rite…we juz knew each other for onli lik 3 weeks onli lor…den so close liao…mayb the 2 of us juz can clinch well lor…in fact other den my family, shin, mt n sum other close friends…I kind of miss her too…duno y oso…hmm…well I guess I hav 2 weeks to tink abt it…so dere is no hurry la…

Den on the plane enjoyed facilities on board la…but after tt I tend to get bored of it la…so erm ya…den after abt 4.5h we finally I touched down at perth…the day started out at perth to b a bit of mystery la… but den later I was nth muc diff from sg la…but 2 things is too obvious to b missed…one is the no. of flies here…its infested wit dem… everywhere u go dere is flies…the second is the price…a 500ml coke is abt SGD3.4 lik tt leh…its lik 3 times more ex lor…

Den it was dinner at our hostel…the dinner was damn gd lor…den still got fruits, cake n ice cream for desert sia…I tink I my goin to b gain weight from dis trip man…I tink the best part abt the trip so far is my rm…coz I get my own rm…dam shiok sia…

Now as I my typin dis...the day is cumin to an end liao…after dis goin to hav a cca leaders meetin den mayb after tt a grp meetin or mayb I will do sum reflection on my own…although is is juz the first day onli…I m oredi tinkin of home liao…sad…but I hav to bear wit it since I m oredi here…
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24hrRu!
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CLOSED
msg of e day:treasure friendship as u nv no when u will lose it, treasure tt sumone as u nv no when u hav to leave

last friday b4 leavin

today went out wit mt n rebecca to orchard...go walk walk n hav dinner...den after tt took neo print...haha...had fun lor...i mean lik i veri happi lor...at least b4 i leave i get to spend time wit my meis...haha...den can bring the neo print over to australia...den can remember dem...haha...goin over dere soon...4 days left... goin to miss ppl in singapore lor...sianz...haiz...i wonder how is the food dere...mayb i will even miss the food here lor...haiz...
anyway if dere got got wireless network den i can go online chat wit u all... but den my free time onli from 8pm-10pm...so keep a look out for mi...
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24hrRu!
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dun feel lik writin anything here...coz oso duno wat to write...mayb a bit tired ba...but watever it is i onli no tt i m veri happ n touched today...memorable day...haha...
msg of e day:quality is better den quantity

cant stand him

omg...glen has done it again...anyway for dose hu duno...his my classmate...n now goin for the Australia trip in the same grp as mi...n the prob is i dun lik him...sux man...den now he chu stun again...we r suppose to do a presentation to show the other grp wat we had research on...actually i ask i him to remind everyone on sun...since his the leader...
den obvious he forgot...n got the nerves to ask mi y i call him for on mon...lik wth lor...sianz...den mon he say he do the whole thing to make it up lor...so ok la let him do lor...den today cum liao mani of us found sum of our slides being deleted...n he was lik trying to cok up sum story to cover up for his mistake...lik wat wth lor...cum on la...juz admit wrong n dun do it again can liao wat...b a real man...not a cc...watever la...dun wan tok abt him liao la...spoil my mood onli...oso cant imagine how i m goin to live wit him for the rest of the trip...sux...
anyway for dose hu duno...i m goin on a uni attachment from 23 nov-5 dec...so cant go dance camp le...haiz...will miss u guys...will u guys miss mi?haha...:P anyway u ppl hav fun while i m away k...i will back b4 u no it...:)
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24hrRu!:yesterday went to party world wit kai wei zhenyu zhi yan mao rong daryl kenrick claudine n wen hui...had fun la...but still was a bit sianz sianz for mi...coz of a few things...first thing was coz i was havin a terrible headache...sianz...den after tt coz we were lik singing a lot of love songs wat...den i reminded of sumone lor...den lik...haiz...so sad...den oso no mood to tok muc oso...den after tt kai wei n daryl ask mi go tok cok near daryl house...but i no mood wat...so cok up sum reason den nv go liao...den after tt reach home liao...head still veri pain...den eat panadol lor...den coz of the panadol den cannot slp...luckily got rebecca pei mi chat if not i realli veri bored liao...haha...10z rebecca...anyway i oso felt better after chattin...:)
msg of e day:sum day we might look back n regret tt we end up on diff paths

burning out

wa...its a realli long time since i wrote here again...
hmm...actually i wanted to use blog one...but i tot wat was the pt of changing...i mean i m writing not for others to c wat...so wats the pt...
now veri tired...veri sianz oso...so mani things for mi to do...haiz... i realli feel tt i m buring out liao lor... i duno how long i can take it lor,.. so muc stress...all the things happenin at once...juz cant accept it lor...sianz...nth i do is rite...i no longer no wat i m doin...i realli wish i can go on a realli long break where i realli got nth to do...juz relax onli...but i guess its impossible one la...so y waste time tinkin...
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24hrRu!
recently i found tt i realli veri empty lor...i can tok to anyone abt my private stuff...coz i guess i juz wan to share it wit sumone...dis feelin sux lor...i realli dun wish to carry on lik dis...things juz arent suppose to go dis way...i no i m not suppose to lik tink tt things always go our way...but i pt is tt dey dun lor...haiz...
msg of e day:emptiness is a hole in ur heart

turn into a monster

today go out wit mao zhi yan zhenyu daryl kai wei...we went to k-box...wa...so song...veri long nv sing lik tt le...realli relief mi a lot of stress...den went to newton to eat bbq seafood...not bad...but veri ex...recently i realli veri bothered lor...i had tried all ways to divert my attention...but its always tempo...lik today singin...i realli tried to sing everything out...its lik the songs r expressin my feelins...but i tink the 5 of dem dun realise tt i m tt stressed up...how i miss the gd old times...when we wld slack at one corner of the hall n tok cok...tokin abt all sorts of things...but one veri delighting fact is dey still remember sum things i told dem...
lik dey wld say "lang sway ci jiao bian gong gui"...but i dun agree it is always true...sumtimes u ci jiao bian gong gui is ur own fault...lik mi...i tink i flunk my results for dis common test...n i definite coz my friendships to capsize...i no its too late to do anything to change the fact now...onli can recover...but how can i recover...haiz...i realli feel veri depressed now...its almost lik its worse den THE OTHER TIME...if duno wat THE OTHER TIME refers to den i guess u dun play enuff attention to my life...after all i m not worth it...haiz...i realli m not...lookin at the note leavers i can tell liao...dey get lesser n lesser...oredi got 2 blank entries liao...haiz...
i realli duno wat to say lor...i hav changed...realli changed...i use to b vuglar free...but now i gettin more vuglar n more vuglar...summore last time i used to b veri sensitive to others...keepin in mind tt i shldnt harm others or offend others in anyway...now i m doin the opposite...it has coz mi my priceless friendship...i hav lost my 2 veri closed friends...i tell almost everything to dem...but now without dem i duno hu to tell dem to...haiz...hu to blame but mi...so no need to crap so much...if i dun do sth abt all dis i mine even lose the rest of my friends...haiz...i dun feel the need of my existance...
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24hr!:i realise sth my told mi is veri true...i dun wan to forget her...i admit it i dun...but the prob is i hav to...dis is so torturin...i cant even tok to her one to one other den on phone...always hav to go thru sumone as a "connector"...but everytime i start to tok... she will keep quiet...i duno izzit mi tinking too muc or she avoids tokin to mi...haiz...dun u feel tt its so sad tt u cant even b friends wit the one u luv...haiz...i wan to forget her...but i dun wan to at the sum time...veri confusin n contradictin...i no...i m so deep in luv tt i juz cant pull myself out...i cant possibly try to avoid her all the time...its impossible...i will c her sooner or later...haiz...she said b4 time heals all wounds...will it heal mine?
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:my existance is redundant

bad nite

ok...today is realli not a gd day for mi...haiz...or rather i shld say is nite ba...
ok...dis was wat happen in the day...i was woken up by my bro...coz he wan to play the ps tt i borrowed from chee hao...coz i set it up in my rm wat...den i wake up he ask mi go my mother rm sleep...crap lor...haiz...nvm...den i wake up...den after lunch go cc...first one dere...a lot ppl late...mr low nv angry la...but he veri stressed...tok oso lik veri tired lik tt...summore he sick worz...hope he get well...actually i oso sick...one week liao...but common test wat...didnt care much...den after cc go home tt time i suddenly remembered tt the person is still angry at mi...at the same time i oso fa hua chi again...head full of her n tt person...argh...veri bad mood...wat shld i say...i realli miss the company of dis 2 ppl...i guess losin dem is sum sort of debt i m payin for previous sins...but i reallli reallli hope tt its onli tempo onli...
den after tt i came home to find tt my bro played the ps ever since i stepped out of the door at noon...non stop...den the ps was lik burning lor...crapz...den things didnt end dere...my mother start naggin the both of us for the non stop playin of com n ps...but pls lor...i juz came back for onli how long...suan le...den she keep complaining...she oso veri tired n stressed le...i feel so bad...haiz...den i c my bro report bk...again crap...average score...no A...lik tt how to survive...aiya heck la...its his future...if he doesnt bother den wat can i do...
den after tt i tot tt i can relief sum of the unhappiness by playin sum games...at first was doin fine...den afterwards...mao brought sum news...n i was rather affected...haiz...den after tt i off form liao... den kana scolded for noobish acts...haiz...sianz...den i even more bo song...den i dun play liao lor...tts y i am here now...
actually dis week is veri sad lor...exam stress...relations stress...argh...summore i tink i changed...realli changed...but for the bad...i tink i hav been influence by bad influence...haiz...is dere a pt of return? i sure hope so...haiz...
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24hr!:closed
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:jc could b a wrong choice

haiz...i duno wat to say la...but den tinkin of the past realli let mi taste sum of the sweetest moments i had...but at the same time i had been thru

ok things haven been realli goin the way i wan it to go...as usual...dis is so sianz...i feel tired everyday...do hw until so late...den no time to study...when the exam is onli next week...argh...haiz...wat to do...i chose to go dis way...i cant blame anyone...but things r not helpin lor...haiz...
i duno wat to do lor...i miss a lot of ppl...especially the dance ppl...when deir exam finish its my turn...wat the hell lor...dis is so sianz...i wan to c dem oso so xing ku...but today i made the rite choice to rush back...coz i feel better cing all my juniors...n dis is the first time all i cross said hi or bye to mi...so happi...felt great at tt moment...things better...now tt is one load of my mind...off to mug mug mug...haiz...sianz...
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24hr!:another load is a person...haiz...i realli duno wats wrong lor...she seems to b ignoring mi or sth...i duno...but mayb she is angry at mi for sum reason...or mayb other stuff lor...but wat ever it is i wish tt tt person cld juz tell mi lor...coz i m realli worried lor...u arent lik tt b4 the exams... even until the last few days of exams...but i duno y dis few days things change so drastically...i realli wan to no wats bothering u...at least let mi no...if its mi den i will stop botherin u...lik tt i no wat to do wat...den if its other things den i can help u wat...i m not worried bcoz dere is a possiblility tt i might b the coz...but i m worried bcoz i care...i realli do...its not bullshit when i say i dote u the most...u can try reflectin to the pass...how i treated u...so dun keep it to urself anymore...pls tell mi...pls pls pls...if i m the coz i will get rid of myself...if its other things den i can try to help u...even juz sharin might make u feel better...i tink i hav gave a lot of hints...u shld no tt hu m i tokin abt...i dun wan to mention hu coz if i m the coz it might coz sum unhappiness...if u r readin dis den pls tell mi wat happen...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:worring abt u weakens my concentration even though exams is next week...

yi ran ji de...

haiz...i duno wat to say la...but den tinkin of the past realli let mi taste sum of the sweetest moments i had...but at the same time i had been thru bitter times too...but the thing is...is dere realli anithing to keep mi holdin on...i dun c it...yet i m...dis is so contradictin...
today i nv sleep on the way back...coz i was in tot...lik one of zhang xue you's song "ru guo zhi ye bu suan ai, wo mei shen me hao bei ai" so dere realli is nth to it...but wat i dun understand until now is...y is she so unforgetable to the extent tt she will always appear in my mind...no matter how hard i try to forget...makin now female friends didnt help...cca didnt help...sch work didnt help...i duno wat else well...
i guess mayb its bcoz i m tryin to hard...n its on purpose...so mayb it wun work...mayb i shld change my method...juz let nature lead the way...she once told mi "time helas all wounds"...so it wun hurt to try rite...but the other time i tried to forget her...it tok abt 3-4mths to almost do it...but dis time things bcum even harder...i duno how long i will take...but i will take however long it is...
i always hav a blive...n tt is to let fate bring us together...mayb our aquintance is to prepare mi for the real relationship to cum...n hu noes the finally mate turns out to b the first person...nobody realli noes rite...but b4 i tink abt tt i hav to move on first...i cannot b lik wat is sang in the song by S-Club 7 "nv had a dream cum true"...
so all i had left is to say is tt...dere is a hole in my heart tt needs to fill up...is dere one in urs...i hope not...coz if dere is i wld b the one to blame...
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24hr!:erm...i realise tt the entry readers of my diary r mostly "new" readers...so i realli hav to say sth...coz i oso realise another thing...tt is i m bcum more n more open wit sum of the private stuff...so i wld realli appreciate it if all of u ppl wld juz read all dis n no it to urself...dun go tell other ppl...if dey r keen on findin out...dey will cum n c for demself...n especially dose involved...after all readin on deirself is different from hearin it from another person...10z for the cooperation...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:?m鰉雗t u st雙p雂 !nt?my ?f? ! sw隺r雂 n鰐 t?ｋt u g? c鰖 ! v u. but n鰓, ! chang雂 my m!nd, c鰖 !ts ?wr鰊g way t?離pr雜s my v. tt!n u g?but ｋav?tra! 鰂 m雖鰎y !zz!t d雗 ?c鰎r隿t t?say ! v u, c鰖 a＃ ! wan !s f鰎 u t?b happ!...

new devil's avocate

dis is so sick lor...i realli gettin sick of dis liao lor...juz when i got started to lik my life...ya lik...last time always say life is sad n all...now i get dis...its as if devil has to keep sendin avocates to make my life miserable...i realli wan to spill the beans...but i cant...out of the little respect i hav left for tt person...but its lik veri torturin lor...n i m sure its not onli mi...sum other ppl muz b tinkin the same way too...haiz...now i m so angry...or shld i say sad tt i feel tt lik things haven changed...dis realli dampen my spirits...summore i was actually veri happi dis week...coz i m lookin for to sth tt is cumin up soon...but after dis...haiz...i juz hope tt dis doesnt spoil everthing...haiz...
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24hr!:ppl do i lack EQ...btw for ppl hu duno wat it is...it means Emotional ??? duno wat liao...:P...duno the exact word...but instead of intelligence in IQ is emotional lor...haha...:P wat u all tink...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:l靎?顂 s郿...haiz...

stress sia

wa...its almost one week since i wrote anithing...haha...miss my entries ma...:P anyway durin dis period of time things has changed for the gd...haha...so happi...didnt update u ppl coz i was caught up wit hw...actually i shld b doin hw now la...but lazy lor...so do wat i suppose to hand in tml den dun do le...after all i sick since yesterday...but i think i gettin better liao la...so dun need to wori...anywy for ppl hu cares...if i dun update means i m fine...bcoz of the work load i cannot b updatin every now n den...so onli if dere realli realli is a need to write sth...if not i will not write lor...haha...:P take care ppl...
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24hr!:"strawberry youth" or known in chi as "chao mei zhu"
lik strawberry dis grp of youths may look veri nice on the outside...but dey r actually veri soft n ezly hurt...a little too muc pressure will coz it to bleed...so sum youths in other countries r being describe as strawberry youth...so r u one?
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:u nv no how muc u can take until u try...

i m realli veri hurt!:'(

i acutally wanted to agree wit angie note in the previous entry one...until i got to no abt sumthing today...i feel tt i m so dam hurt lor...if dis could happen...wat will b next...i hav lose my faith in dis ppl...i cant even trust u ppl...hu can i trust den...r dere even friends out dere hu treats mi as a ture friend...but not sumone hu u shld pity by befriendin mi...
after dis i hav lose faith in almost everything...i feel lik juz endin my life...but i couldnt...its juz plain stupid...but now i doubt almost everything...i m afraid...i hav been cheated by sumone in the past b4...in terms of emotions...coz i hav too muc trust in tt person...now dis happens...i m so gullible...haiz...i m afraid to trust anyone now...u guys has shoke my confidence in life...i hope tt one day u ppl will cum to mi n convince mi tt it is all rumors onli...n not for real...
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24hr!:nhds...sori i cldnt b dere for u ppl...its ok to lose...i m sure u ppl tried ur best...haiz...sori i cant write muc...realli veri veri hurt...i can feel as doh my heart is cryin although i m not...the worst is i hav to put on a mask lor...at home n in sch...i hav to act as doh nth happen...when i m truthly hurt...if onli dere was a way to end my misery once n for all...haiz...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:i m realli veri hurt!:'(

i dun deserve to live

lik wat wth is wrong wit mi lor...i shldnt b complainin in the previous entry...coz the bloody shits happen bcoz of mi...yes mi...the bloody hell idoitic mi...how can i b the one to complain abt it when i m the one hu coz it...n bcoz of all dis i m losin my friends...i m cozin misery for ppl hu care...lik wth lor...
i realli dun deserve to live lor...ppl hu show concern for mi r not gettin wat dey shld b gettin in return...instead dey r in misery bcoz of MI...n all i can do abt it is say sori...y cant i juz go solve the prob instead...i oso wan the answer...mayb i hav too muc pride tt i cant bow down to anyone lik tt...i duno wat to do...no one to guide mi...haiz...i realli duno wat to do or say...
n i shldnt say anything at all lor...coz most of dis probs exist bcoz of my filthy mouth wich juz cant filter wat to say n wat not to say...wish i cld mute myself lik a radio tv or com...
i wish tt i could forever abandon dis probs...but cant...juz by goin to sch reminds mi of dem...even listenin to radio or watchin tv too lor...haiz...
i dun deserve to live...i m juz a person hu realli sucks to the core...
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24hr!: i m so troubled yet i cant find anyone to confide to...but my od...first thing i cant tell sum of the ppl coz i cant let dem no abt wat happen... second thing is tt sum of the ppl r involved...n bcoz of dis i might lose dem as my friend...third is sum ppl juz dun giv a dam to mi...the saddest thing is tt even the person i always confide to oso cannot le...bcoz of dis probs it coz dis person to live in the crossfire n pass days of misery...i used to tell tt person everything tt happens...n tt person wld help mi lor...but now i cant...coz i had hurt tt person enuff oredi...all i can do now to conpensate is to say...
I M VERI SORI MT!I REALLI M...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:leave mi to rot

xin ru dao ge

wat is dis lor...haiz...it is bad enuff to b stab once...but twice in 2 days...wtf lor...i m gettin of sick of my bloody life oreadi...dis has got to end lor...i cant go on lik tt forever...
i realli wish i could elaborate more here...but since first i dun wan everyone to no abt it n create a fuss abt it n second not to put ppl involve in difficult positions...haiz...
dis is so hopeless...my life has been sad duno since when...i realli hate it lor...i no i m being pessimistic...but wat can i do lor...given a life lik mine...wth lor...i no dere is always a reason for watever has happened...but dis is lik too muc lor...my i fated to hav a sad n pessimistic life...my i born to suffer...izzit retribution from the previous life...if so i muz hav been a realli sinner...haiz...
day in day out i had been wishin for things to take a turn...but no...it had to remain dere...or even go further off track...i m realli startin to doubt even if it will ever turn back...haiz...
all dis is realli empty tok man...i can tok but i cannot do...i hate my life...i hate everything lor...ever since i had gone up to jc it is worse den b4 lor...i realise i had drifted apart from all my friends...ppl from nan hua or wherever...even og9 too...after the first 3 mths...things had turned sour...i dun even the last time i tok to sum of dem...dis is god dam sad lor...
i tink the onli happi thing i hav cum across recently is tt my birthday wish more or less came true...
nowadays i find myself lookin for things to occupy myself wit...wich i cant find most of the time...i feel so empty...so lonely...so hurt...so pain...so sad...
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24hr!:
wo hui fa zhe dai, rang huo bu guan ni, jie zhe ba ni ge yi bian.
xiang you na yi tian, ni hui huan xing zhi ji, zhi dao wo guan xing ni.
wo hui fa zhe dai, rang huo fang qi ni, jie zhe man man su yuan ni.
you xiang le yi bian, ni ke ai de lian,zai wo li kai zhi qian.
xing li de xue di, mo hu le shi xian, wo yi kuai can bu jian.

m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:xin ru dao ge

pia! kambatei!!

ok...finally time has cum for mi to concentrate on my studies n pia...i told myself i will hav to charge after finish the puzzle...ya lor...haiz...i no i will bcum veri nerd lor...den i will tend to pang seh u ppl la...but i hope u ppl understand la...coz afterall i chose to go dis way...the jc way...instead of goin the poly... i realli hope i can get into the course tt i wan in uni lor...n best is tt i get in a place in local uni lor...coz i dun wan to spend so muc money on lodgin overseas n stuff lik tt...
thur will b the cheer com for the nhds ppl liao...hear from daryl lik not veri steady leh...i worried leh...tml got prac...i tink i most probably goin to check it out...i dun wish u ppl to win anything la...i juz wish for u ppl to juz hav fun n bring up the atmosphere or the event...make the audience wan to cheer wit u...tts wat i call a successful cheer n a winning one...even if it does not win...to mi u guys had oredi won...had achieve the spirit of nhds...so jia you ba...i will suppost u all de...even if i not goin on thur i will still b supportin u all no matter wich part of singapore i m in...kambatei!
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24hr!: CLOSED
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;: wo diu ni de si nian jiu xiang shi jian you bu ting xi

change

dis few days i had not been online...coz i was bz wit completing the puzzle for my mother...her birthday on sun wat...so not muc time left...now i restin lor...until now completed abt 3/5-3/4 liao lor...shld b finishin by sat ba... if not sun mornin muz finish b4 i go cc lor...but shld b can de la...i tonite goin to do unitl abt 12 ba...wich means still got abt 8h from now...haha...
anyway i was readin my ogl's od...its a she btw...well...quite pessimistic ba...i realise ppl tend to b veri pessimistic wan it cums to diary...i guess dis is normal ba...after all...does things tt u cant say face to face it to b said dis way...so more or less the sad sad things all fill up ur diary...summore for most ppl...when writing deir diary dey shld b alone ba...at moz is siblings around lor...so tend to b more low ba...unless is dose hyper ppl la...nv die down one...haha...
anyways...after reading her blog i realise tt i m always not considerate of others feelins...not tt she direct it at mi...juz tt she wrote sth in general den it juz happens so tt i m sumhow lik tt...den earlier on i was readin email abt ppls character sorted into horoscope... mth of birth...n the first letter of ur name...den i realise tt i dey r quite accurate...n at the same time i realise tt my character is not tt prefect after all...i no no one perfect...but at least it does not meet my expectations...
anyway...i realise tt i get angry ezily...or agitated...anyway u wan to put it...n a way it makes mi sad after tt...n tt habit has got to go...everytime i go back dance i get angry...n start to shout n pump...haiz...sooner or later the juniors will distest my presence...summore i m veri violent lor...for no gd reason i hit ppl...i shld no tt ppl dun lik it lor...n the worse thing is dey tell mi b4 one lor...sianz...sumtimes juz feel lik banishin myself to another place...haiz...
so i hav decided to change...for 2 reasons...first wich is the moz important...for the benefit of all my friends...n the second is i wan to prove tt ppls character cannot b classified usin sum simple test or quiz...or wateva it is...so if u ppl c mi vialate any of dis things...pls remind mi...10z...
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24hr!:i hav decided to take sth from my ogl's blog...sori hor shi yan...take w/o ur permission...:P
The fundamentals of love
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her. You found yourself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter. It seemedas if a mysterious "chemistry effect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her. You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things that you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very good friend. It is often during this period that a boy and a gal will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level. After all, the kind of wonderful experience you have between each other can only become even better if it develops into a romantic relationship. In other words, the feeling is really unique -no one else seems able to replace her in your heart. So both of you agree to go steady and work even harder on the relationship. You "graduate" to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.
When You Forget The Fundamentals
However, at some point in your relationship, you forgot how it all began. You start to take your partner for granted.Why can't she laugh in a more ladylike manner? Why doesn't she dress herself more trendily? Why must she assert her views and point out your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you? To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your "love memory". The "love memory' contains all the reasons that you fell in love with her right from Day One. It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting and loving her. Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusual fashion sense that makes her stand out from the crowd? Right-o. So why are you criticising or finding fault with her now that she is your girlfriend?Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love, like so many of us. ou have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase. Instead, once you went steady, you put your "love memory" in coldstorage. As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations about her. These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.
The Secret Of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development. You can't possibly become part of a couple if you aren't friends in the first place. Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance? Couplehood works well when there is something you like about her (and vice versa), and I'm not referring to merely the physical aspects. So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don't give up without checking on your "love memory". Discover the reasons why you fell in love with her, and watch your relationship flourish with a newfound vigour.L-Listen O-Overlook V-Voice E-EffortLove is to listen to the needs of the other party, giving without asking for returns.
Overlook the faults and find the plus point of the other party.
Voice out & say sweet things and express your happiness and words of encouragement for the other party.
Putting in Effort, keep putting in more time to find the world of love.
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:when will i live the fullest...

happi birthday

today is my birthday...n mani others as well...lik wen bing...but dere r 4 more wich has the same birthday as mi...one is my mothers friends son...the other 3 is boon hwee jun jie n shafit...all from jj...but too bad junjie not in jj liao...haiz...nvm...i hope all dis ppl had a happi birthday...may ur wishes cum true...
dis years birthday was rather similar wit the one last year...no celebrations lor...den go home eat wit family onli lor...lik tt lor...quite sad la...presents reduced...but birthday msgs increased...so not tt bad la...after all its the tot tt counts...so nvm la...summore i wldnt wan u ppl to waste ur money wat...:)
hmm...my birthday wish came true...or rather sort of a birthday wish la...she msged mi today...wishin mi happi birthday...although it was later den the others...but still it was enuff to mi...at tt pt of time i felt so happi...felt as though i was the happiest person around...but i had to cum back to reality...she doesnt lik mi...not today...not yesterday...not tml...not for hu noes how long...forever?
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24hr!:although i no tt to mi...w/o her in my life i wld feel as though i will die...but i still hav to stay strong n face it...n let it go...but i feel so weak sia...say tt let go for duno how long liao...until now still always tinkin of her...haiz...duno wat to do...wat to say...but i no in the end i still hav to go...
add
i cant blive it man...i was at first onli disappointed n stuff onli...but now i m dam moody liao lor...u can say i m pissed...i m angry...wateva u wan to call it la...today is realli a veri unhappi day...n onli i no the real cause of it...i m juz being childish...n jealous of friends around mi...f*** sia...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:ni de bei shang shi ying wei wo de cuo

nan guo

feelin sad...y i duno...haiz...tml is my birthday...i m sayin dis not bcoz i wan to ask for presents...in fact i hope u all dun giv mi anithing...coz u juz waste ur money...ur wishes is enuff...anyway...i say my birthday here is bcoz although tml is my birthday...i dun feel excited...but sad...haiz...i dun hav a person realli realli realli close to spend it wit...but i dun expect tt things will change overnite...but all i wish is she remember my birthday...but if she doesnt...ppl hu no hu she is pls dun remind her...mayb things would b better off tt way...pls treat it as my birthday present ba...
i look around mi a lot of my friends hav steads...sumtimes i realli cannot stand it...haiz...but wat can i do...the ironic things is tt dey hav a chance to b together n yet dey qurrael...either dey dun no hav to cherish deir relationship or dey r juz not into the relationship enuff...wateva la...its none my business...it shldnt bother mi...
n recently i realised...the amount of notes has decreased drastically...in the past it used to hav a lot of notes...now it is so pitiful...either ppl hu reads my entry dun bother to leave a note or dere r less ppl hu r concern wit my life...but hus to blame...i myself oso nv do my part as a friend...when was the last time i visited any of my friends od...at least a week...sum even mths...haiz...
on sat i m goin to perform in yishun...i takin part in the wushu under dance inspiration...i m subin botaks part...coz he cannot make it...haiz... juz learned the set of dao...scare cannot remember my steps...if i mess dis up i will b puttin the efforts of everyone down the drain...i wan to b in the tip top condition for the event...but fri got jj nite...wich ends at 1130...so late...i still cant decide if i shld go a not...haiz...i m always tied up by dis trivial things...y cant i b more decisive...haiz...
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24hr!:yesterday nite i had a dream tt i had been havin for mani years...it appears abt once per year...n i dun lik its content...i tink i would classify it in nightmares...its abt sumone tt i m veri close to hu had gone missin or had died...i would b goin to her house to search for clues off where she might b or how did she die...as i look thru her stuff i would start to remember stuff abt her...the memories were so happi yet in the dream i feel so sad...haiz...the worst thing is tt when i woke up i feel terriblely sad...haiz...mayb tts oso the reason y i m sad now ba...
does dis repeatin dream hav a meanin...i mean if i has no meanin y did if keep repeatin...as in sum of my other dreams wich onli occur once came thru...one example is tt i dream of a place tt wasnt in the state it was in the dream at tt pt of time...later on i find tt i fits the state in the dream after sum time when the environment changed...its lik so creepy lor...does it mean tt in the future sth similar wld happen...or izzit last time in my previous life it had occur once...n now its here to haunt mi again...
haiz...now its playin gui ji on 933...i realli hope tt forgettin sumone wld bas ez as it is in the lyrics of the song...haiz...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:wo hui fa zhe dai,ren hou wang ji ni

donged!

dis few days rot at home...nth to do...veri sianz...wan to go out oso sianz...coz got a lot of chores to do...haiz...well...abt the previous entry...i dun tink the healin process has taken place yet...coz yesterday i was listenin to 933 yin yue re ji(duno izzit xuan ge ji yi instead)...i was so touched by the story...but at the same time my memories of her flashed back...haiz...i my so useless...y muz i keep clinging to her...i no deres no use...its meaningless...yet i still...haiz...dun wan to tok abt it anymore la...i dun tink today i will b listenin to tt section...coz tt section veri late...den tml goin dance...so muz sleep early lor...if not i still muz wake up at 6 leh...how can...haha...
actually i wanted to compose a song to express my feelins...but den i got 2 prob...i dun hav the mood to do it...n i dun hav the ability to put it down wit music...haiz...sad...hu will b so kind to help mi? nvm...mayb a poem instead ba...haiz...
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24hr!:ok...i tell u all jiz of the story i heard yesterday...
dis guy he likes dis gal...but nv had the courage to tell her...from young he had been lik a bodyguard...keepin bullies away...tellin off ppl hu tok bhind her back...n as time go past he got to her better n better...n eventually was the person hu understands her best...tt gal has a lot of suitors...but she rejected dem all in the end...one day the guy asked,"u keep rejectin dem...wat if in the end no one wans u...i c u how..."den the gal replied,"dun wan dun wan lor...i dun care...coz i no if everyone dun wan mi...u will still wan mi one...rite...u will still b here for mi...hehe..." the guy kept his silence...dey had nv realli leave each other for a veri long time...until the time when the gal had to go to u to study...n dis leave is 3 years...at first dey tot tt it was not veri long...n it will soon b over...but for the guy it is lik so so long...den one day the gal asked her out...n dey tok lik the gd old times...suddenly the gal told the guy she is in luv wit a guy...the guys heart shattered...but still managed to reply,"gd for u...i will support u one..." he no tt if he does not support her no one will...after tt day he nv c or tok to her until the grad day of the gal...n on tt day she showed the guy her bf...the guy was so heart-broken...he didnt say muc n juz leave silently...juz sendin her a msg to tell her tt he go liao...she ask him y so fast...he juz said he got sth to do...since den dey had not contacted each other...
its suc a dongin story...i was veri donged by it...it was so sad lor...haiz...tt guy was so nice to her...but yet she could not feel it...its such a sad endin...but guess although the guy was not the one to b her bf...but i tink he will b happi for her lor...after all u would wan the person u lik to b happi wat...haiz...my situation was abit lik tt...but i dun tink i was suc a guy lik him...i stink...i suck...i m a idoit hu is so insensitive...juz onli no how to hurt her...i m not even fit to b lik tt guy in the story...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:b true to ppl n u will recieve truth from deir words...

16/3/03 was the day

haha...its so ironic sia...today i m goin to say it out...
for a moment last month i tot things had changed...changed better...but well i guess i was juz dreamin...fantasying...haiz...it did not change at all...haiz...
i tot i had let go...but i havnt...i tot i wld b able to start again...i wasnt rdy...i was still in luv wit her...haiz...
i no i cant...but i did...i no i shldnt...but i still...haiz...wat can i do...i realli luv her a lot...
today marks one year...but bcoz of leap year its 366 days...but wats the use of sayin all dis...its useless...its crap...things will nv change...ppl giv mi hope...my dreams giv mi hope...but dey were all juz smashed...haiz...
i realli m stuck...in dis web of luv...i tot i got out of it a few months ago...but i realise now tt the web is bigger den wat i tot...now i hav to start all over again...tryin to escape...
but its juz so hard...i m so charmed by u...i cant shake it off...haiz...i feel so sianz...i duno wat to do...i feel so sad...i duno wat to say...
i no tt things will nv change...i realli muz try to let go...i m juz makin myself suffer...but most of all...i dun wish to c u suffer again...
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24hr!:if onli time turn back...i wish i hadnt known u...n so i would not hav hurt myself...hurt friends...hurt U...
If wat u said was a dream,i wish i nv wake up from it...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:?m鰉雗t u st雙p雂 !nt?my ?f? ! sw隺r雂 n鰐 t?ｋt u g? c鰖 ! v u

heart

hm...today nth muc ba...until now still not realli tired...dun feel lik sleepin...so decided to write sth...hm...haven been writing a lot...not lik last time everyday got write...haha...anyway...its been quite sumtime since i 10 the note leavers...so here i say a big 10Q to all u ppl...
hm...i remember i ask u ppl to evaluate mi last year in my od...but the response lik not so gd leh...haiz...nvm i decided to do it again...well i welcum gd or bad comments...but i realli would lik to hear the bad ones den the gd ones coz it can help mi bcum a better friend to u...:)
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24hr!:juz sth tt i feel lik writing...well it is a personification of a heart wich will stop beatin anytime...but sth or sumone has the cure to help it...well hu or wat izzit is for u imagine...:)
Heart
i feel myself slowin down...i can hardly move...i feel every move i make painful...i m startin to drown in the pain n agony...i may stop anytime...but until den i will keep beatin...coz of u i juz cant bear to leave...be my doc n my nurse...treat mi...treat mi...b4 i leave...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:coz of u i juz cant bear to leave...

o...my life...haiz...

today go cc...wa...so long nv lian liao...veri tired...haha...den learn the chao kuai gan...haha...not bad la...still can make it...but tt zhong yi hor...wth lor...step my leg lik no feelin one leh...summore so forceful sia...sucker sia...dun care him le la...haiz...den after tt go makan wit sam kai yan n jolene...
den go home liao...haiz...i duno to b angry a not la...u all tell mi la...ever since i cum to jc i had been veri bz wit things...i hav to juggle between studies dance 4/7 illusion rohan og9 cca n 04S21...haiz...surely veri bz one wat...den my parents keep complainin tt i so bz...even seem bzier den dem...everyday cum back so late...now i go cc take part in kopi tiam...dey kao bei even more...coz the shedule veri packed oso...dey say wat wan mi go down shop help oso cannot...but pls lor...cant i choose how i live my life...goin to cc is the onli form of recreation tt i get to exercise...do dey wan to c mi everyday after sch straight away go home den happi...den bcum veri antisocial...always camp at home...lik idoit lik tt...summore being active is gd wat...i dun c wats the prob wit it...dey need help got my bro wat...everytime throw things giv mi do...i biggest so wat...do u expect mi to do everything...cant u giv my bro sth to do...ok i admit he goes to help out more den i do...so wat...the other things all i do...den all the excuse u ppl hav is... aiya he duno how to do one la...aiya he so clumsy...aiya dis aiya tt...pls lor its time he grow up lor...
tokin abt growin up...my bro realli duno how to think one lor...call him study he say study liao...its lik the time he use to study is lesser den the time i use last time lor...den things he duno lik cannot learn lik tt..."i duno la"...bloody hell sia...
cant i juz get my support for doin anything here...even being helpful oso can kana scolded one...u ppl shld no tt i m helpful by nature...den i go help ppl den go home late or sleep late or watever...my mother will keep scoldin one...haiz...now u ppl tell mi la...shld i b angry a not...or shld i even b sad...or do u juz tink tt i m being inmature n duno how to tink n look from another persceptive...
now another headache is my sunburn...now not pain le...but den hor the skin keep dropin...now i look lik dis got skin cancer or sth ppl lik tt...sux...den my skin litter the whole house...den hai my mother hav to keep cleanin...haiz...sad sia...anyone got solution to make it drop quickly or stop droppin...
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24hr!:the fun n joy sam has gone missing again...haiz...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:i juz cant find anyone hu can understand mi

o lvl result/dance inspiration

wow...i cant blive it...i got a 12...its so unbliveable...i got A1 for emaths n humans...den A2 for amaths n chem...den B3 for eng chi n physic...realli veri shocking for mi lor...dis is the best i had ever done b4 lor...its unreal to c a slacker lik mi get dis kind of score man...i realli got nth to say lor...i was lik playing magic n com between papers...
my amaths so tyco to get A2...i didnt do 2 qn coz got stomachache...haha...den go toilet...haha..:P n yes finally i got A1 for humans...c u sucky prawn...i got a A1 hor...n the rest of the class oso got 1s n 2s...so u can go eat shit...but i regret 2 things...one is tt my chem nv get A1...aiya...too slack liao...nvm got 2 oso not bad...the other is chi lor...haiz...didnt realli put effort to study for the han zi...but realli stupid to study 1000+ words to get onli 5...haiz...nvm its over...
dis few day went to help at the performance...haha...mr low call our grp "dance inspiration"...lik veri pro lik tt... but of basics...erm...haha...u no la...:P den the dance was realli veri nice...veri artistic man...aiya...i say stupid things sia...mr low chorograph one leh...the next big item is "kopi tiam"...haha...dis time i takin part...ppl muz cum support hor...haha...
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24hr!:mayb u guys hav seen my lastest nick...counting down to sth...wat day izzit...haha...i wun say...but its definitely not my bday...coz its 25 days away...haha...but one thing is for sure...its a veri special day...mayb sum ppl veri veri veri veri veri close to mi will no...but i doubt it...coz i dun remember tellin anyone abt it...haha...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:till tt day cums,i will b here waiting

alone

today went to cc...coz i wan to giv jolene tuition...common test cum liao wat...haha...den after tt go home lor...haha...
yesterday after the chi singing course...we stayed back abit to hav a mini karaoke session at LT2...haha...sh...den after tt go home slack lor...coz dey cannot decide wat to do wat...so bo bian lor...
sori the entry is brief...dun realli feel lik writin abt dose things...not significant wat...haha...realiese tt recently i haven being writing a lot... the entries all veri in constant...actually yesterday i wanted to write sth one...but coz a bit bad mood or shld i say sad so nv write...
well u c...the truth is hor yesterday...i wanted to go out...but juz cannot find anione to go out wit mi...sum got performance at istana park...sum got common test...n other reasons la...den was veri sad lor...found myself all alone...den i still didnt wan to go home...so i went to je walk walk on myself...haha...hoping to find anyone tt i no dere...but no luck...haiz...nvm lor...den i bo bian den go home lor...den go home slack a bit den sleep le...sianz sia...
den juz now online i realiese i hav 10-20 ppl online but i was onli tokin to one...sad rite...all lik no topic...duno wat to tok abt...if i started conversation it will b lik hi den stop...den realli veri sianz one lor...sth feels so lonely sia...tts y i dun lik to go home so early...go home duno do wat...online c noone...play game veri sianz...duno wat to do sia...haiz...
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24hr!:alone in a crowd...haiz...the feelin is so so so sucky...if i m not wrong dis qn i attempted in the o lvl or prelim...forgot wich one...anyway...sumtimes do u feel tt u r surrounded by tonnes of friends but yet u feel cold n alone...its lik dey r dere juz for the sake of being dere...its suc a sad thing...if u nv feel it b4 u shld go try it urself...u go out wit a group of friends...den i keep quiet n dun tok...if dey dun tok to n noone tok to den u will feel the kind of agony i m tokin abt...if u hav any friends in ur group tt is left out...its time to change his or her life...let him feel being part of the group...noone is born to b alone...mayb u haven realiese tt the person next to u is tt person...juz tt u haven realiese...especially to leaders of the group...u shld keep a lookout for suc a situation...its lik a form of responsiblity ba...well its onli wat i tink ba...i tink todays entry is veri crappy sia...ok le la...stop liao...if not i will go on forever...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:feel the pain n agony of being alone...it sucks...

og9 2

haha...didnt expect myself to b writing entry wit dis title again...but i still today had made mi wan to do so...
i dun blive tt i even pon my drama festival to hang around longer...i would hav regret for life if i didnt go today...i was really veri touchin lor...for the second time in my whole life i felt lik crying bcoz of the touchiness of the atmosphere...the first time the last dance camp as a nan hua dancer...its was lik a sad but touchin moment...i brings back sorrow n joy...i enjoyed myself today...
i realli feel tt og9 realli rawk lor...ya not forgettin dance too la...but dis entry is for dem...erm so...dancers sori hor...but i oso got write a lot for u ppl in the past...so it wun hurt la...:P...anyway i was sayin...og9 rawkz...dey had all bcum my good friends over such a short period of time...i can tell dem things without tinking knowin tt dey can b trusted...omg...if u were in my shoes now u will no how i feel...its indescribable man...
when lik the other ogs r all dispersed oredi...but ours is still strong n kickin...ya not forgetin lamin too...haha...:P...anyway i tink the j2 ogls councilors n teachers would hav notice it lor...dey might no hu we r...but i m sure in deir mind dey will always remember us as the most enthu n siao og lor...yeah og9 rawkz...
i guess og9 rawk so muc n i lik dis ppl so muc tt i told dem "u ppl r wonderful ppl"...dancers remember dis ba...haha...dun wori u guys r still wonderful ppl too...no matter hu u r...b it ppl from 4/7 04S21 nhds or og9...u guys had helped to mould my life...in a way or another...i hav to 10 u ppl...u might not b in my calibre of "wonderful ppl" but still as my friend u had a part to play...n i m grateful for tt...remember u ppl always...10z guys...u made my life more worthwhile...
o lvl cumin soon...wish dose getting results to pass wit flying colours...take care...
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24hr!:omg...the autograph bk got so mani praises...i duno if i m realli as gd as u ppl say...but wat ever it is...10z...but i will continue to b humble...n work harder to bcum a better person...even if i m not as gd as u ppl say...i will try my best to meet ur expectations...haha...but remember dun praise mi too muc if not i will grow wings n fly into the sky...haha...lame...:P
anyway...if any of u need help or advise of any kind...can cum n find mi...dun b shy...n no need to wori tt u will bother mi...coz i will b more den happi to serve u ppl...afterall dis is where my passion lies... n mayb even my destiny...haha...take care ppl...wish u guys all the best...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:u all r wonderful ppl

life goes on? 2

how r u ppl...its being a while since i wrote...haiz...life is getting from bad to worse...sori tt i nv write for so long...sum of u hu cares might wan to no wat has being goin on...well i didnt write anything bcoz one thing is tt i had sum prob wit my internet for abt a week...den oso i duno wat to write abt my sad life...
i feel tt writing wat happened today here is a bit redundant lor...after all its almost always the same la...i was sayin tt things r turning from bad to worse...i juz realiesed tt although i seem to b happier in jj but in actual fact its not true...i m onli happi when spending the time wit my friends...but at the same time i m juz puttin all my probs temporaily away...but the truth is tt dey r still dere lor...so wat to do...haiz...last time in nan hua at least dose hu no mi better can tok to mi...den i will muc better...now in jj all my best friends arent wit mi...rohan...illusions...4/7...dance...haiz...i realli missed u guys...although i still can c u guys around...but i is nv the same...i miss the gd old days...
i feel tt my life is lik still stuck at the period during the post o lvl period...except the part abt jj...sumtimes my og friends do relief sum of my stress though...but its veri sad...the whole og is lik driftin apart...the feelin is not lik wat it used to b...n one of dem is goin to withdraw soon...sum ppl say she isnt a gd person...sum say she changed...but still she is a realli veri nice person...i muz admit tt i my realli goin to miss her after she withdraws...haiz...
i made a promise sumway back in dec...to my friends...to myself...n her...i tried to forget n let go of all dose bad times...n other related stuff...well i hav little luck on tt...but at least things turn out better den wat it used to b...but still when i look back at dose times...its so sweet...but at the same time sad n hurting...haiz...if onli things didnt hav to go tt way...but its oredi over so deres nth tt i can do now...haiz...
now i m realli feelin veri emotional...i tink tts oso the reason i m writing dis now...haiz...
sori abt such a long entry...but i realli got so muc to say...if onli sumone could carri my burden or even "carry" mi lik sam did to frodo...haha...lame...not funi rite...haiz...
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24hr!:today i wan to use dis coloumn to 10 sum ppl...
first i wan to 10 sum of my class ppl...dis ppl r realli veri cute man...haha...dere was dis time when i was realli veri sick...but i still went to sch...den i got so irritated by my illness n the class...tt i shouted at dem rite infront of the teahcer...den after sch dey showed care n concern towards mi...n sum ask mi to chill down...sum asked mi wat happen...n the other time was yesterday...coz dere was a misunderstandin wich coz mi to riase my voice at sum of dem...den after tt i walked off...n dey tot i was angry...but i juz walked to get sth elsewhere...haha...den when i came back dey were lik apologising n things...later i realiese dere was even one of dem hu msg mi too...haha...cute ppl...10z...
second is one veri special person...she has been the nicest person to mi in jj...over the days i hav developed sum feelins for her...but i duno if dis feelin is lik dose kind of feelin towards my veri close friends... or bgr type...haiz...suggling to find out lor...but no matter how things turn out in the end...i will b contented enuff to hav a friend lik tt...its suc a blessin...haha...n to show my gratitude towards her...i gav her a lot of things yesterday...wich was valentine's day...hope she liked dem...
i oso wan to wish everyone happi valentine's day...for dose hu hav stead i wish ur love last forevermore...n dose hu hav a person in mind...jia you ba....;)
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:ru guo zhe ye bu suan ai,wo mei she me hao bei ai

life goes on?

i feel so lifeless recently...especially after tt day when the news was broken out to mi...actually it had nth to do wit mi...coz i dun need to no after all...its not my prob...i shldnt bother...its realli none of my business...but i chose to care...i chose to b devestated...
found tt sam has bcum realli veri lame?...wan to no y he bcame a bloody lame bastard?...personally i oso duno y...but i m sure the chief reason shld b due to the same thing ba...i feel so empty...kong xu...so empty tt i hav to act lame to fill it up...ppl scold mi for being lame...do u tink i lik it...no i dun...ppl say tt i hav changed...not for the gd but for the lame...do i hav control...do i hav a chioce...
so mani unhappi things followed one after another after tt news was broken out to mi...muz i b tortured dis way...although most of the unhappi things does not hav anything to do wit mi...but dey happened to my friends...best friend or acquintance...it is sad to c things go dis way...if all dis bad luck was all for mi...pls juz torture mi not my friends...i realli dun wish to c dem suffer in place of mi...u might tink tt it is stupid to tink tt dey all suffereing in place of mi...u r wrong...i guess one of the unhappi thing tt juz happen a few days ago was partly my fault...now i feel so guilty... i wan to help tt friend...but wat i can do is veri limited...furthermore was he is goin thru now is nth tt i hav ever gone thru b4...haiz...yesterday alone i injuried my head n leg...it sux...
i realli dun wish to continue to lead dis kind of lame-ish sad life...i no it was a devestating news...but i oso no tt i hav to face it...n move on...i was foolish to even tink tt miracles happen...dumb rite?...no the song from prince of eygpt...when u blive dere will b miracles...i veri much wan to blive in it...but how to...i m now practically draggin myself to move...i m not solving the prob at all...i m plain running away from it...
i realli realli hope tt one day...i will meet sumone hu can relieve mi of my pain...b it ppl from nan hua...ppl from og9...ppl from my class...or even any acquintance...
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24hr!:to my hard borken friend...i no u most probably wun b reading dis...but i hope tt mayb by writing it out here...ppl hu reads it can share ur pain wit u...u might not no or feel...but i guess it counts...hopefully...
deres a time to grip...
deres time to let go...
deres time for joy...
deres time for sorrow...
fate is happi...
fate is sad...
hav faith in fate n all goes well...
so now bury ur sorrow n reap new joy...
n nurture it once more...
till faith is restored...
take care my friend...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:bring mi back

why?why?why?

juz now i was watchin the drama series by Shin...veri close to my heart...if u no wat i mean...the things dey go thru as if hav a direct impact on mi...haiz...the memories...Shin...her...haiz...if onli...
aiya...if onli again...haiz...i duno y muz things b lik tt...i hav so affected now...by a few things...lets take things 1 at a time...
first...my bro...haiz...i no i can b veri dicator at times...but i mean we hav to giv n take wat...sumtimes i oso giv in w/o speakin a word wat...den y muz attitude leh...juz had a dispute wit him...haiz...y r things lik tt...dis year he O lvl liao leh...sianz sia...i dun tink he realise how serious things r gettin...m i suppose to shut him away from the com until the O lvl finish...i realli duno wat to do...
den...its bcoz of one of my meis...although i hav a lot of meis but not a lot of dem truly bothers wats wrong wit mi...onli a few...den dis one leh...i seriously duno how she tinks...but wat i no is she is havin probs wit her life...i wan to help but i cant...i feel so helpless...the fire is burnin on her side...den i standin here onli can watch...haiz...sad...
den...my sch work...its gettin from bad to worse...i duno y i juz cant concentrate...i m oredi veri tired liao lor...i realli hav no strenght to move...sumtimes i realli hope tt deres sumone to push mi...realli...haiz...
den is dance...veri worried for dem...but i duno wat to do...other den the usual scoldin wat else can i do...haiz...den now sum of dem hate mi...i feel lik cryin lor...haiz...den again...lookin at the sec 4 ppl...i feel so happy...dis ppl hav realli grown up...so happi...i was 4 great years...
den of course not forgetin her la...but dere is oso nth muc to write la...coz a lot of things cant let u ppl no...wan to no ask mi personally lor...mayb i can consider...but anyway...realli miss dose times...
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24hrRu!
~~~~~~~
ok anonymous...the big part of the reason y i m lik tt today is bcoz of u...u wan to no y? i guess u wld...so i m goin to tell u...
juz now i was happily watchin my shin vcd...den wen hui sms mi sayin tt u replied to my last entry...so i felt the need to c things myself...but after readin liao...i realise tt deep down in mi i realli wan to no hu u r...despite wat i said in the last entry...i duno i will lik tt seriously...but juz filled wit emotions lor...i duno how to put things...but i juz feel terrible not knowin lor...so can u pls tell mi hu r u...coz i realli wan to no...
i dun understand y u dun wan to let mi lor...wats ur reason...its not as if i will eat u or sth...i m sure the fact tt u cum n read my od surely u care...since u care den y cant u tell mi hu r u...if dere is sum reason tt u cant let other ppl no tt u hav been here...den u can always tell mi thru other methods one lor...its realli veri torturous to mi not noin...so can u pls do mi dis favor...juz tell mi hu r u...
msg of e day: let mi no if u realli care...coz i oso wan to do the same...4 u...

guilt

sianz sia...recently feel quite guilty sia...coz i m always bz wit my jj friends n stuff...i seldom hav time for nhds n my nh friends...sori hor guys...i will try to balance up my time...haha...lik today i went back rite...so feel better le...haha...:P
acutally today lik nth muc to write abt...haha...i tink coz yesterday write a long...den dry liao...haha...:P...plus i veri tired today...i tink i will stop here...
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24hr!:ever hear b4 a breakin song...i sing to u all...crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crackcrack crackc rack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack...CRACK!!!...how was tt veri breaking rite...haha...tts the purpose...to break...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:breaking is painful...

og9

dis entry is dedicated for og9...lik i mentioned in the last entry lor...og9 had realli liven mi up a lot lor...i hav bcum more cheerful nowadays...sheldom sad lor...nan hua ppl shld no how i m lik in sec sch one lor... veri sad case one...but og9 bring mi back to life i shld say...10z ppl from og9...i my realli grateful lor...i m veri glad n honored to b part of og9...u ppl had touched my life n left deep prints in my life...u ppl rawk...i onli say dis to my dancers back in nhds n 4/7 la...but u ppl r so special tt i hav to say dis...u ppl r WONDERFUL PPL...10z...so touched...
ok now for sum special dedications liao...actually i tink i goin to mention almost everyone...but for dose not mention dun b sad...coz the reasoni nv mention is not tt u r not important it is juz tt the diary av word limit one...so hav to 10 dose more important ones first...sori hor...n dose hu feel tt urs is too short...sori hor...coz veri hard to put my feelins all in words...
::boon hwee::i guess u r not goin to c dis la...but hey u had been a great "OGL"...haha...u realli motivated the og a lot lor...i tink w/o u hor the og will not b as united ba...haha...sori tt time i pissed u off while u n the others trying to do the "certificates" for the "OG members"...i no i was not being considerate tt day...sori again...anyway...realiese tt u lik mix wit us less le...we muznt drift apart lor...for we r OG9...
::wen de::haha...u sacrificed to act as rose for the jj nite...haha...it was happi acting wit u...haha...n oso help boon hwee to motivate the og lor...as another "OGL"...haha...10z a lot for all u had done for the og...
::yi ping::ya la ya la..."OGL"...ok ok...n chio bu...haha...happi?...no la...u helped a lot lor...i tink w/o u the og oso cannot make it one lor...n ok la i muz admit la u not tt bad la...but u muz understand tt to get a guy to say the girl is chio in front of the person herself is veri pai seh one leh...summore u no i bcoz of her den i bias one wat...plus u realli go all out to entertain us lor...appreciate it...10z...
::winnie::sori for draggin u to meet tt 2 friends...u look quite reluctant doh...duno la...mayb i imagining tinks...haha...muz admit tt u realli veri gd listner lor...haha...*clap clap*...find sum day i will do the listening instead??...haha...10z for everything...
::zoe::haha...the spirit of og9...the most enthu one...haha...ME!ME!ME!...its a pleasure to finally meet esther's cousin...she told mi quite a lot abt u...haha...still happi always...n not forgeting ME!ME!ME!...haha...10z to ur enthu...it helped a lot to boost my spirits from the the old sam...10z again...
::gabriel::sori for alwasy calling u a gay...but u r not one...other den the singing expression la...:P...haha...u r in fact a realli nice guy...haha...its nice meeting u...wld b lookin forward to ur singing in the future(not the face :P)...haha...10z for being suc a nice friend...
::shen hui::haha...nv tot tt it will b so qiao rite...mi too...our mothers is sec sch friends...tt is lik so rare lor...haha...i guess dis wat dey meet by fate ba...we r juz fated to meet each other from the start to continue our mothers friendship...haha...mayb we will oso pass it down to the next generation...hu noes...haha...10z for everything...
::fei ling::realli veri cute gal...haha...i guess everyone wld agree lor...haha...always go around takin pics...anyways...10z for dose words n encouragement...n the fixed badge...realli a veri nice person...10z again...
::hui ching::haha...ur sixth sense lik not accurate one leh...haha...remember u say tt u r oso into psychology...haha...exchange knowledge sum time...
::karen::haha...veri sociable person...haha...remember abt the joke abt age n class one...win liao lor...gao siao...haha...aiya...used to being laughed at...as long as my friends r happi...i dun mind...its a pleasure being ur friend...hope tt our friendship is everlasting...n 10z for everything...
::jingqin::the pure gal...haha...i still remember tt u r the one hu pted out tt i "had" silver eye...haha...sori la...i was jokin abt it wat...didnt expect tt i will write it in fei ling's autograph bk...haha...:P...i got weird memory one la...tts y lik tt...10z for pting it out b4 i bcum the laughing stock...
::isabella::the veri on gal in og9...haha...veri steady one leh...got character...haha...treasure our friendship always...10z for everything...
::angie::haha...always the one crapping wit mi n karen early in the nite...coz dere was no other ppl online...10z for sharing the crappi times..haha...
::jun jie::we hav the same birthday worz...dun forget to giv mi present worz...haha...realli nice to hav u as my friend...haha...veri nice n helpful person...but a bit too bashful liao...haha...10z for being part of my memory...
::zeng yang::haha...spent a lot of crappy times wit u...haha...remember we used to always happen to sit beside each other...haha...next time u go ur church mayb cum n visit my mother shop sum time...10z for everything...
::kwang wee::the pro smser...haha...always got recieve nice sms from u one...10z for all of dem...keep dem cuming...haha...10z again...
::rufus::haha...the pro guy...haha...sign up so mani cca...gao siao...later cannot cope den u no ar...haha...jk jk...gd lucks wit dose applications...10z for everything...
::alvin::haha...the first person to really interact wit mi...10z for initating the chat...haha...n 10z for letting mi realiese tt li hao n john were in jj as well...10z friends...
::aaron::cool person...haha...dam gao siao...veri nice person...change our view of ppl from chinese high...10z for everything...
::lionel::u r the pillar of og9 lor...i tink w/o the tok tt u gav us on the first nite...i tink the 2nd day we will still b as dead lor...acutally i was observing the OGLs of all the family to learn how u ppl handle the crowd...n i can pass the skill on to my juniors in nhss...u guys impressed mi a lot...i learned a great deal from u all...especially the 3 of u all...10z for everything...n gd luck for ur As
::shi yan::u lost ur voice bcoz of us...i realli look up to u sia...other den ur height la...realli veri pia sia...10z for everything...n gd luck for ur As
::diana::haha...the muz kiddy one among the 3...haha...reading la bi xiao xin worz...haha...i saw it in ur bag tt day b4 jj nite 2...haha..tsk tsk...nv go sch but cum jj nite...haha...10z for everything...n gd luck for ur As
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24hr!:so tired liao...dun wan to write here liao la...tml ba...still got a lot things haven say...sianz...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:og9 r wonderful ppl

jjc

it has been the third week in jjc...hm...jc life is tiring lor i shld say...i always fall asleep in the classes n on bus rides...but so far i m having fun lor...i realli enjoy the times i hav wit ppl from og9...realli veri wonderful ppl lor...other den ppl from dance n 4/7...i tink dey will b next ppl hu will fall on my list of wonderful ppl...if i stay on in jjc...i will surely hang around a lot wit ppl in og9...og9 rawkz...haha...:P
jc life is quite bz la...when no lesson u c ppl sit in the canteen do hw...haha...duno la...still haven decide between jc or poly lor...c first la...
den cca actually wan to join air rifle...but i dun tink i can make it pass the trial leh...so lousy...mayb join bowling ba...wao lao...deir bowling can use guide one...so gd one...lik tt veri ez leh...but i so long nv train guide liao...veri lan liao...i tink at most onli 100 pts...den my spin still not dere yet...not enuff practice...muz try to keep it straight...but at least the strenght correct liao...onli the direction of the ball onli...haha...:P
to ppl from nan hua...hey miss u ppl...got miss mi a not...quite sum time after i last c u ppl...sianz sia...cca extravaganza i cannot go back...sianz...mrs wong say wat cannot go back...sianz lor...suan le...mayb i cuming back on fri ba...haha...c i free a not...hope to c u ppl soon...
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24hr!: i hav finally came up wit the new name...a lot of things to say...haha...:P...anyway...og9 keep mi so bz wit the fun n stuff tt i hav no time to b sad...:)...n i tink i had started to let go a bit liao ba...hope so...not sure abt how i realli feel now...veri confused...even if now i hav a crush on sumone i dun even tink i will no lor...haiz... wat can i say...life is lik tt one la...although i say i started to let go abit liao...but still i hav to admit tt i m still quite atteched to it lor...coz sth happened last week...i dun wan to mention too muc abt it la...it was realli veri sad lor tt day...but i guess i m backto normal now la...as usual...
second thing i wan to say is abt the first 24hr! case in jjc...haha...:P the ppl from og9 realiesed abt dis liao...haha...10z to sumone called winnie...haha...:P...10z...but i was not of muc help though...u cant blame mi rite...i cant work w/o any info on the person n y the person is feeling lik tt...but i did giv sum adivse as to how dey handled the case lor...hope tt it helps...haha...
third thing...dis one is sth tt i m not happi abt...to hu ever is involved...b4 i start to say anithing...i wan to make things clear...i may b blunt here or wat...it may coz u to dislik or even detest mi or watever it is...i dun care...dis is my diary...i will say watever i wan to say here...if u r unhappi den dun read any further...i dun wan to coz ani unhappiness...u might ask den y do i put it on OPEN diary den...coz i wan to let ppl hu wans to concern abt my life read all dis...dose tt care...ok now let mi proceed...i shall not name anyone...ok in dis case rite...dere r 2 groups of ppl...happens tt dere r sum unhappiness amonst dem...mayb it is juz a misunderstanding...i duno...but the prob is both groups r my friends lor...den i m the one sandwiched in the middle...i realli dun lik the position i m in now lor...i had been dere done tt...n i dun lik it...n the worse thing is...i m partially blamed for the crossfire...i duno la...cant the 2 groups of ppl juz forgot abt watever tt it was tt coz dis...i dun lik to my friends lik tt one lor...i dun mind being scolded by either groups for being a traitor or watever...i dun mind lor...but i realli dun wish dis wld continue lor...u all can all dun befriend mi for all i care...but juz shake hands n b friends...pls...:'(
STOP IT!ARH!!!
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:it makes a man sad to c his friends fight...

bye 2003/hi 2004

guess a lot of things happened during dis short year...in a flash i finished my o lvls n is leaving sec sch for jc/poly liao...hm...been thru a lot...i shld say...haha...a lot of memories in dis year...haha...both gd n bad...still remember the times tt i spent studyin for the o's...haha...veri tough...but i manage to survive...haha...
den after been 1 year of dance chairman...experience how izzit lik to bear veri big responsibility...still remember how stressed up i was during syf...phew it is over...haha...being the dance chairman really veri stress...haha...but i enjoy my time here at nhds...haha...i wun mind being scolded all over again by mrs wong to hav the chance to go thru everything one more time...take care ppl...dun disappoint mi worz...after all u ppl r all wonderful ppl...
hm...4/7...realli gonna miss everyone...although lik 7/28 ppl from the class goin to jjc...but still...gonna miss the rest of u ppl...its so nice noin u ppl...i guess i wun mind taking the o lvls again to b wit u guys...hey take care...may best b wit u...
hm...haha...realiese tt i miss sumone out rite...hm...guess i will b leaving n u will b goin on wit ur studies...haha...take care wor...n abt ur physics teacher...erm...juz study hard n all will b fine...actually i really cherish our friendship...haha...remember u always...take care...haha...
acutally if i hav the chance i wan to re-live 2003...i tink its the best year of my life...but too bad its juz a fantasy...the reality doesnt allow tt...so i will b moving on to 2004...
wish tt everyone hav a exciting year ahead...haha...to dose still in nan hua...goin to miss u all but i hav to leave tt bloody plcae first...ta ta...haha...:P...n to all dose graduating hey...c u guys around...4/7 rawks...n to everyone tt i no out dere...if u guys wan mi to help u on sth...u no where to find mi...haha...take care...n a happy 2004!!!
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Kh!! !:my new years resolution...haha...first i would lik to totally let go of her dis year...haha...tryin to do it recently but cldnt really totally let go...still attached here n dere...jia you...haha...second is to quickly cum up wit a new name for the ex-24hrSaE...haha...cant do witout a name rite...third is to go after my dream job...if not i could otherwise fufil my dads dream of goin further wit his business...haha...tink tts all ba...du wan to b too greedy...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:the past bhind n the future is in front, so lets move forward together!!