A lvl

anonymous...u dun wan to say ur name nvm...but u still ask mi to conc studies...how to...i m so distracted lor...i no its A lvl dis year...but i juz cant seem to get settled down...haiz...can sumbody cum n wake mi up...giv mi a gd scoldin...haiz...wat the hell is wrong wit mi man...haiz...wat is my purpose...juz to study get a job den lead a decent life? i realli duno...although i realli wan to meet my goal of takin psychology in uni...but i juz cant stand how things r movin...haiz...
i m realli realli realli scared...y u may ask...coz i realli duno wat is installed in the future...n i m afraid to find out...wa...i tink i goin crazy liao...wat if i dun make it... wat will i do...
i m realli veri confused...n i duno where i m goin...although i no wat i wan...but i dun tink i will get dere at dis rate...haiz...i feel lik cryin my heart out if it helps...WHY!WHY!WHY! ARGH...
today had a chat wit wei xuan...den i realise tt wat she said was quite true...she said sumtimes in our lives we muz tink lik a kid...lik tt our lives wun b so stressed...haiz...sianz...headache again...i tink i tink too muc again liao...haiz...
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24hrRu!
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anonymous...i dun understand wats wrong lor...y cant u juz tell mi hu u r...u shld no better to leave sumone wit a cliff hanger lor...especially when tt person is mi lor...i duno if u no a not la...everytime i start tinkin abt sth i will not put it down until its over...even if it means sacrificin things...mayb my studies...i m juz lik tt...she is rite...i m stubborn...n veri stubborn in fact...i duno la...u dun wan to say i oso cant do anything to u...but i realli hope tt u wld let mi hu u r...but watever it is...10z for visitin my od so regularly...if onli i no hu u r...haiz...
msg of e day:sumtimes we shld take a childish break...

hu r u

today nth muc to do...den cum here write a entry lor...actually got thing do la...hw lor...but lazy to do...:Psianz sia...finally today can get a break...later goin to bed earlier...den usual at least...haha...juz now was playin war3...won 3-0...wa...so on form today...haha...so i dun tink i wan to play anymore today...later the streak gone den sad...haha...
anyway today main topic is abt tt anonymous note leaver...anyone hu reads dis line wld b askin wat bad stuff did tt person write rite...but its the oppo...the person has been visiting my od from time to time...n leavin veri sweet notes...but i duno hu the person is...i m realli keen on findin out hu tt person is...i wan to thank person sia...coz to mi every note her is a morale booster...trust mi dey mean a lot to mi...coz seriously veri little ppl visit my od...n onli dose hu realli cares wld bother to even visit...coz i dun update veri regularly...unlik in the past...
to the person...dun b pai seh or watever la...if u wld den do mi dis small favour...its not a lot wat...juz need to tell mi hu u r...i realli wan to thank u...but if u seriously determined to keep ur identity...den i cant do anything lor...but i wld realli appreciate it if u do mi dis favor...
anyway to the other readers...if u no mi den i urge u to leave a note too...let mi no tt u had been here...as for dose hu juz cum across my od...i oso wld b glad to hav ur note...i wld greatly appreciate it too...
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24hrRu!
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haiz...still trapped in the same web...haiz...veri fast hor...reachin the 3rd year liao...still stuck...she say its impossible betw us...but i wan to b hopeful abt it...but the situation doesnt seem veri gd leh...sianz...haiz...i tink we r driftin further n further liao...duno la...sumtimes lookin at her tok to everyone else except mi hurts mi a lot...but i keep remindin myself...tt as long as she is happi i contented enuff le...but izzit true...haiz...duno la...i veri luan now...things r not in focus...veri soon when tt day cums i will look back at all the memories...if onli things remained as it is back den...den mayb i wld not b so sad now...n i wld hav a veri gd friend to stand by mi when i feel low...but haiz...dere r so mani if onlis...but none can cum true...haiz...sumtimes i realli wish tt my life is more focused den it is now lor...sianz...i so pessimistic...sumtimes i wonder if i realli can make it to where i wan to b...
msg of e day:if onli sumone cld stand by mi...

luv doesnt hav a reason

wa...until recently den i realise tt kong-fu soccer is such a nice show...of course i liked the part abt the kong-fu + com. animation...but i lik most abt the luv part...
dere r 2 kinds of luv in the show...the first kind is the brother kind of luv...dis kind of luv is tt kind tt i wld hav veri dear...after all i hav been thru wit my buddies...i hav learned the value such luv oredi...although the things tt we had been thru might b nth when compared to other ppl's encounter...but it is oredi enuff for mi to learn how impt brotherhood is...brotherhood is lik such a lovin word...it is veri powerful lor...for dose hu watch the show...durin deir match against the bad guys...dey stood together side by side...even though dey were continuously attacked physically...dey stand strong together...dey hold till dey fall together...i duno if my buddies r tt bonded wit mi or i myself will do such things for dem...but at least i no i m satisfied enuff to no such friends oredi...but all dis brotherhood thing might get the gals tinkin tt i onli cherish my frienship wit my guy buddies...but not true...coz when i say brotherhood...doesnt onli mean guys...to mi...definitely gals as well...sumtimes dere r sths tt u can relate to a gal much better den to a guy...so dere bound to b "bro" out dere hu r females...but dun get the wrong idea... dey r not tomboys...haha...
den the 2nd kind of luv obviously referin to romance la...but sum ppl may tink...lik wat is so special abt the show la...as in so mani other show got romance one wat...haha...i agree...but dere dis show has sum elements tt is diff...n dis difference appealed to mi... coz it provided mi wit an answer to one of my burnin qns over the past 2 years? in fact almost 3 years liao... for dose hu no mi well enuff 2 years shld ring a bell n allow u to guess wat i m tokin abt...i dun tink i wan to say things clearly abt dis part...coz dis kind of things...sensitive la...summore i dun feel lik sayin oso...but mayb sum other time ba...but hu noes i might drop sum hints for time to cum...but i dun tink ppl will bother to go n guess la...so lets c lor...haha...
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24hrRu!
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recently nv realli update...although for a short while i wanted to force myself to write sth everyday...lik last time lik tt lor...but lik veri hard leh...coz of various reasons...so cant b helped...but sumtimes i oso dun hav the mood to write...lik now i oso feelin a bit low...but wat to do...no one to confide to...den confide here lor...a bit pathetic sia...but wat to do...sianz...den recently oso no "business"...although its a gd thing la...but it makes my diary a bit less colourful...but i guess i doesnt matter...coz i can always fill in my own prob instead of other ppl prob...
"so near yet so far" dis phrase is such a powerful phrase lor...today i experience it lor...again...juz tt nv tok abt it onli...its lik such a sour feelin lor...sianz...she says i m stubborn...yeah she is rite...but she is too...we r both stubborn...wat to do...sumtimes u will juz get so frusrated when things juz dun go...haiz...lik my msg of the day says...sths cant b explained...although i realli hope tt i hav an answer to all my burnin qns...but i guess its impossible...once i read in a article...it says tt in ur lifetime dere will b sumone tt u luv the most...but dun luv u...n oso one tt luv u the most...but u dun luv the person...so in the end u most likly wun get to get the person to b ur life companion...wich is rather sad la...as for mi i guess mayb she will the one tt i luv most dis lifetime...haiz...although i wan to carry higher hopes...but things r juz gettin from bad to worse...sad...sumtimes i juz hate myself...y cant i change myself when i no tt i m doin wrong...the personality test was correct...i dun lik changes...if onli dere is sumone to stand by mi n help mi change...
but hard to find lor...coz no such person has ever cum to my life yet...how cum so unfair one leh... the person tt i luv the most has been in my life for oredi 4 years liao...but den the one tt luv mi the most haven cum leh...mayb tt person juz dun wan to say...haiz...i realise the more i write the more i seem despo...mayb i m so empty till lik tt...empty referin to kong xu...sianz...i tink i dun write le la...the more i write the more depressed i get...sianz...haiz...
msg of e day:sths juz cant b explained...