It's just stupid

Have it ever crossed your mind how I felt when you asked that?
Well, maybe never bothered.

I feel selfish and stupid.
For the most part, stupid.

One decision, mutiple contradictions

I said what I though was nice and right. But, now I feel contradicting, yet I know it's pointless even if I didn't say what I did.

Stop messing with my head.

evolution?

From the beginning of time, creatures have been evolving for survival and adaptation. I guess humans are the same, eventually from from some sort of ape to what we are now.(don't know whether it's right to say this as I recall coming across another theory) Humans develops all sorts of nonsense to make life easier, or it may seem to be. So, like everything else, I guess there is some kind of balance in the changes that take place. You get something for something else as the price just like in trading(or the ancient barter trading). Those who knows full metal alchemist might appreciate this theory better.

Under the pact of all the elements, I hereby forgo the element of water for the element of fire. Hopefully, with this new found strenght I could brave through the upcoming obstacles.

I hope you are doing the right thing. I don't think it is a wise choice. By forgoing your element of water, you are destroying the natural balance that you were created with.

I have made up my mind.

I hope your exchange is an evolution not a D-evolution.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have lost my soul, my identity. I don't use to be like this. Why have I become this horrible monster? Changes have taken place and I have no idea why. What is happening to me?

Is it the flame bottled in me burning me up from inside?

I really have no clue what is going on.

Maybe it is really D-evolution...

Silent Night

Well, it is X'mas eve today, so I wish everyone a merry X'mas. It's kind of sad that I am actually writing up my entry now at home, but I guess I would not enjoy much either even if I was still out. Because I am sick. It's really sad to be sick on such joyous occasions where there is good food and all, but that is how it is.

Just got back from a X'mas dinner with Michelle and Mao Rong. Dinner was quite crappy, though not expensive, but I am not complaining. Michelle baked a giant gingerbread man for me!(ok, actually it was actually between the choice of the gingerbread or cookies but I let Mao Rong do the picking)

Well, I also just got back from the trip to Langkawi. I didn't spend much on the trip(other than eating). Generally, I think the trip was alright but I think the others would have enjoyed it much better.

Highlights:
1) There was extremely huge amount of walking, especially on the day we were looking for a car to rent. I think we easily clocked 20km that night alone. o.O

2)Zhenyu's "Ok la...nevermind...50RM" experience.(due to certain complications I think its not appropriate to tell the full story here)

3)A petrol station that has NO PETROL?!?! The station was closed and only when someone asked the locals, then everyone realised that station is out of petrol.

4)Chee Hao's Hagendaz in liquid form!!! Mr CH decides to give himself a treat but to find the ice cream to be in liquid form. After being "kao peh" by Zhenyu to get a refund, the store assistant realised that the Hagendaz fridge was not on.

5)Sam's first cable car ride. Well, basically it felt great and exciting. Despite the fact that I fear heights, I felt safe in that box.

6)The amazing view from 700+m and the mesmerizing sunset(I think the pictures will be up on Zhi Yan's blog but maybe not so soon)

7)Ever heard of a car battery alarm? The car we rented broke down while Zhi Yan was trying to park it and we had to push the car to the side and call the rental company. We were told to wait at the restuatrant nearby, so we decided 2 of us will walk over and wait for the guy. We were only a short distance from the car when Zhenyu shouted to us saying that the guy is here. And by the time we walked back to the car, he had already fixed the problem. Apparently, the car battery was faulty and needs replacement. So, the alarm locks down the car to remind the owner to get it changed. Very dangerous! Anyway, the guy who helped us fixed the car was super cool and we were all stunned by the speed the whole thing happened. Its hard to describe.

8)The food provided at the snokelling trip was really out of this world!
Comments from the group:
Chee Hao:My sister cooks better than this. No, even I cook better than this.
Zhenyu: Even overnight KFC also not as bad as this.

9)The torturous climb of that mountain where the sunset was. Gabriel and me gave up half way while the rest tracked further. I think it must be a pretty big accomplishment to finish the whole climb.

Just not right

Some events has just passed since my last entry, events like Zhenyu's and Michelle's birthday and also the failure of my laptop. Well, everything is back(including my laptop) and the year is ending soon. Looking at the calendar, on Wednesday I will be leaving and Christmas will follow by the time I am back, and before you know it, HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Currently, life's good I guess. I don't really have anything to complain about(other than the only thing I do complain about). I mean have good grades(for now) and for some reason my father seems more approachable now. So, I guess I should enjoy while things last.

It's being a while. Things have changed every since, but somethings just seems to stay the same. Feeling seems kind of new, but I know it is the same feeling just with a hint of distance. Time has eroded the memory of the dreams I had, now it seems to be just an unfinished puzzle. I missed my chance, only to understand that its all destiny. Even if I had spotted you in the darkness, fate will eventually bring us about. Hope is just an intoxicating drug which just seems to be the reverse of painkillers.

Wind blows at my face guiding alone the invisible tears down my path of sorrow. Slowly, drowning my sadness. All that's left is all colourless, washed out from my treasure trove. Now, all colour seems inviting, yet are they pure and permanent? Lost on this winding road back to reality, the candy houses are at times just too tempting. Even if there were no witch in there, it would be a miracle if I decided to step in.

But, maybe I might, for all that is ahead is just a blur. Slowly, only will the focus come into visual. Locking down on the targets, ready to fire. Anticipating the explosion that would follow, the excitement that would be felt. The feeling of adrenaline rushing all over just thinking about it.

But, wait...these are all not real...right? No...these are all not real...They are...just not right...

Then, what is right?

Glorious GPA

I score a GPA of 4.03!Booya!