pain vs numb

Which is more unbearable? Pain or numb?

If you only have one of them, probably just the one that you are feeling. But, if you had both, then I guess both are just as irritating.

Life recently is just boring, plain boring. Don't be mistaken, I was talking about the emotional part only. When I was in love, I was always emotional. But now that I am not(actually it is still a debatable thing, but its easier to just leave it this way), life seems more boring and lifeless. Maybe it is the numbing effect, or the isolation effect(from a psychological theory of "intimacy VS isolation" applied on young adults) has just kicked in.

TV is like poison to our emotions, because the storylines are always sensationalized to increase viewership. Watching to much of TV probably just make you more envy and depress about life.

Sometimes when I feel that I should talk about it, but I have absolutely no idea what I want to talk about. Its like I am being stuck.

Someone give me a sign, tell me what to do...

Time flies...actually crawls sometimes...

I haven't really blog for a very long time. You guys must be curious why I am suddenly blogging now, especially since my exams are still not over yet. Well, I intended to go to sleep but for some reason I feel rather awake. I think its because of all the late night mugging.

Actually, all this mugging is screwing up my body clock. Now, I seem to sleep more than ever. Sounds like a pig? Yeah, I know. But, then again, I think it was already screwed before this.

Alright, I took a look at my last proper entry and it was dated 6/9/08. I have nothing to say in defense for that. Well, hopefully its still not too late to do a bit of recollection. Actually, there isn't much to recollect, other then Zhiyan's birthday which I think he did quite a good job covering.

Seriously, after quitting job and staying at home, supposedly study, I accomplished some things(maybe not really accomplishments) and realised a couple of things.

1) Completed 7 seasons from Malcom in the Middle - Well, Zhiyan always say that the show is for teenage girls, but I got my fair share of laughs from it.

2) Simpsons last viewed season 19 episode 16 - Currently, they just aired season 20 episode 4 over in US. I think I know what you guys are thinking about at this point.

3)I think I am actually studying harder than A's. (which is only right and a good thing)

After my exams, I am going to...

1)Sort my magic collection and maybe psycho you guys to join me back in the game.

2)Really, really start losing some weight.(I still want to be able to hide behind my brother)

3)Try to initate gatherings.

The last point was probably the thing that kept me awake. Recently, one of my ex-colleauge from APD contacted me regarding some uniSIM stuff because she is starting term in uniSIM next year too. I chatted with her a bit and all that. Then, all the memories of my 2 years there started to pour back.

To some people, NS is a drag. But, I guess I won't be one of them. In fact, other than the times when lame ass officers tries to backstab a harmless NSF, I think the general experience was wholesome. I am not really sure if I had talked about all this before, but I guess it won't hurt. It's needless to say that we forge deep friendship with our buddies(although I don't get to bunk with them, but we do nap together), people like Alwyn, Wee Yen, Jin Wei, Jun Hao and loads more, there are also the officers and DX. The officiers at AWSB taught me quite a lot of stuff and departed quite an amount of wisdom to me. The feeling they give me is comaradrie(did I get the word right?) kind of feeling. It feels good. Even people like Rene, although we have only worked together for barely a year, I think she knows more about me then some of my friends that I have made schooling.

It's amazing how this kinds of things happen, yet all you can do is to indulge in the sweetness of those memories. Asking for a meal with these people may be quite a task, don't you think? Maybe it's just me, but will you people friend it awkward if you were invited to such gathering and find that you guys have nothing to talk about? I guess it most probably is a psychological barrier.

Memories slowly flow to the other side, time swiftly flash across our minds.
Till the end of them all, will they meet once more.
今天的你还好吗？

Thinking is no longer logical.
Feeling was ever magical.
Maybe if I pause thoughts, then I will see once more.

IQ test

I did a IQ test that was recommended in my notes. It was only 15mins. Those who are interested can go try http://www.intelligencetest.com. From my point of view, and my scores, the questions are fairly easy, other then the general knowledge ones which, as the test also suggests, that I am weak in. Results as follows:

Full analytical report for sam

Please bookmark this page; it will be available online for two weeks. You may also print a copy of each section for your records.

General statistics

Total number of questions: 30
Questions answered: 30
Questions not answered: 0
Questions answered correctly: 27
Questions answered incorrectly: 3
Percentage correct answers: 90 %

Your age adjusted IQ score is 132 and the average score for all test takers is 100.

Your Grade ** Gifted **

Anyone with a general IQ this high is considered to be gifted. You have the ability to think critically, conceptualize ideas and form your own conclusions. Your ability to think in patterns and to produce order out of chaos enables you to handle complexities and see logic in everything. Needless to say you are self-aware of your abilities and have the brains for all known occupations. If you think of intelligence as the ability to adapt easily to new situations then you are at the top of the charts.

Standard Deviation: 15

The bell curve (also called a "normal curve" or "normal distribution") is a graph that shows approximately how much of the population falls into each IQ range. In theory, if we tested everyone in the world with a traditional IQ test, most people would score in the "Average" range. A smaller number would score moderately below average and moderately above average. Very high and very low scores are rare.

The scores and percentiles above apply to tests that have a standard deviation of 15 points. The Stanford Binet Fourth Edition (Binet FE) has a standard deviation of 16 and the Wechsler scales (such as the WPPSI-R, the WISC-III, and the WAIS-III) have a standard deviation of 15. Therefore, for different scales the percentages may vary.
Click here to convert your score to the Cattell and Stanford-Binet scale.

Grade Statistics

Grade	Range	Percent
Genius	>144	0.13%
Gifted	130-144	2.14%
Above average	115-129	13.59%
Higher average	100-114	34.13%
Lower average	85-99	34.13%
Below average	70-84	13.59%
Borderline low	55-69	2.14%
Low	<55	0.13%

Mental abilities have the highest correlation with general intelligence of all objectively measurable abilities and they are the primary focus of this test. Furthermore the mental abilities targeted for measurement were specifically chosen because they have been shown to correlate highly with many other abilities. The graphs below show how you scored in various abilities such as pattern recognition and logical reasoning - skills which are all reliable predictors of academic achievement. Graphical representation of intelligence scores. Intelligence score chart Verbal Mathematics Spatial Logic Pattern Recognition General Knowledge Short Term Memory Visualization Classification Percentiles chart Verbal Mathematics Spatial Logic Pattern Recognition General Knowledge Short Term Memory Visualization Classification Strengths and weaknesses Your highest score was in Spatial Exceptional intelligence does not guarantee results -- to achieve excellence you must fully understand your strengths and learn to maximize your efforts. Knowing your greatest intellectual strength may give you insight into how you can improve your learning process, work better with others, or become more self aware of your abilities. According to this test your spatial skills are the most developed of all your intellectual capabilities - your capability to manipulate 3-D objects in space is your biggest strength. Your lowest score was in Classification Weaknesses are the roadblocks we face when trying to achieve our goals. Awareness of your weaknesses allows you to predict problems and find solutions ahead of time, thereby alleviating future headaches. According to this test your classification skills are the most underdeveloped of all your intellectual capabilities - your capability to discover the commonalities between words, pictures and objects is your biggest weakness.