sinkin

well...as the title has suggested...i m sinkin...in wat sense? well in mani areas if u ask mi...lets take things one at a time...

well back at home...i m basically less n less approachable if u no wat i mean...duno wat has gotten into mi....but juz dun feel lik being disturb...u no wats the worse part...tts i feel dis way when i m not doin anything at all...it realli sux...i mean bhaving lik tt...i mean lik i no its wrong n not nice...yet sub consiously...i m doin it...wats bcomin of mi man...haiz...

den sch work...well i practically wasted the whole long weekend...now i hav onli tml left to redeem myself...even if i m super hard workin tml...i dun tink its enuff...coz wat can i do in one compared to wat i cld hav done in 4 days...haiz...i realli hav to wake myself up man...in abt 1 mths time its prelims...n i no better den anyone else tt if i screw it up again...i will hav a hard time standin back up again...i no myself well enuff...sumtimes i tend to wan to perform...to prove to sth...but to myself not to others...well mayb my standard i set for myself is too high sumtimes...duno...

my social skills...well basically it refers to things lik conversational skills...influence...leadership...blah blah blah...well i guess i my rather concerned wit dis...as compared to other ppl la...i mean lik dis is practically the onli thing i m gd at...no boastin...but even if its boastin i onli hav dis one trump to boast abt...summore dis kind of things is my area of interest as well...ppl ask mi wat i wan to do next time...isnt it veri obvious if no wat i hav been doin...isnt early prac gd for ur future...well tts provided if i can push forward to the next stage of life wit my regrets...

my emotions...well...for dose hu hav been hangin out wit mi...u shld no how its been...more or less ba...but seriously...i tink its quite bad...its fluctuatin too muc...its oredi interferin wit my tinkin process...tots can juz intercept my work all of a sudden juz bcoz i hear or see sth tt i can relate to...wich in dis case...i keep tinkin abt her...i no i did say i will try to let things settle...leave things bhind at least until A lvl is over...but wat can i do if i cant keep her out of my head for juz dis few mths...seriously i feel as though i my sum sort of drug addict...but in a diff sense...its as if i hav to hav a "dose of her"(tink abt her) everyday in order to go on wit my daily life...if onli dere was any instant method to coz memory loss...

well...tts abt all tt i can tink of...so now do u understand wat i mean by sinkin liao rite...i always say i will b fine...i will get better...n i no i can...but doesnt seem to hav any progress...mayb my methods hav been vaccinated...my body no longer fall to such futile attacks...mayb i dun even no wat is wrong from the start...juz tryin to smoke myself into blivin in myself...den if tts the case is blivin wrong...izzit wrong to b optimistic...can sumone tell mi...haiz...not onli my i sinkin...i tink i m stuck...
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24hrRu!
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influence is such a amazin thing dun u all tink...i mean lik hav u even wondered y is sumone lik mr low able to coz us to giv him respect the lvl we giv...or hav u wondered y sth tt is said by mr low has diff weightin compared to ur our sch teachers...

since influence is so fascinatin...i wonder if it is sth we r born wit...or can we develop it...wat do u all tink...in my opinion...i tink its lik success...u need a combi of hard work n int...in the case of influence u need both gift n effort...coz i tink influence can b developed...via methods lik establishin a gd image...n maintain a certain lvl of popularity...hav certain talents wich ppl admire...other den tt i guess its up to ur gift on birth to add bonus pts to ur influence...eg wld b things lik charisma looks n "aura"...

the reason y i suddenly tok abt dis is coz lik i mentioned in the previous segment...i feel tt my ability to influence ppl has fallen...wit special reference to a big grp...i guess the reason is coz i haven been upkeepin my influence...n not muc effort was put in...futhermore...i discover tt influence cld b reduce by makin the wrong move...so mayb a combination of makin the wrong move n not upkeepin it has coz it to go down the chart...i oso feel tt i might hav sth to do wit my ability to sort out my tots wit speed...(mayb i will elaborate on wat i mean next time)

msg of the day:time heals all wound,but it oso drags u in if u r in quicksand...