Just got home not long ago from dance practice. I am so tired. Anyhow Art! is coming soon quite a lot of people coming to support me. Ok, maybe not a lot, just more than the past performances. Quite sad actually if you come to think of it. Haha.
9 more working days to ORD! Finally, the end is coming after serving the nation for 2 years. Although, I might not have learned any combat knowledge, at least I got to experience office work and the ugly side of office politics.
I got my provisional approval as a relief teacher and also left my name with Nan Hua. Thinking about it gives me some mixed feelings.
Today, got feeling a bit weird. I also don't know why. Haiz... I shouldn't give too much meaning to it.
Coincidence? Could it be of any meaning?Well, should be better to let nature take its course.
~ Life has to end. Love doesn’t. ~
25 November 2007
16 November 2007
The Truth
Finally, today I got to know the truth. Ok, maybe part of it, but I get the picture. I feel a bit "floaty" from the alcohol, but I guess I should get this over and done with. Hopefully, I can close and bury everything with this entry tonight.
Finally, I get to read the torn pages. But, whether the twist was intention a not, it is unexpected whether I wish to accept it a not. Now, I should not and hopefully will not try to judge whether the twist was intentional a not.
But, despite the disappointing ending, I have to admit that the story was a great one. I sincere think so and wish to remain thinking that way. Although, it turned out to be more like a modern fairytale, it was still enjoyable. During the period, when I was reading it, at least.
Be it whether there would be a sequel, related to the first book or not, I hope that I would not compare or judge the second one through the feelings towards the first one.
Now that my carving to know the missing chapter is satisfied, I should move on, to hopefully the next book. Hopefully an even better one. I hope.
Anyway, thanks to people who were present today, for giving me the concern and company. I am fine. But, of course, my emotions may continue to fluctuate, so do give me time. But, trust me, it was not a wrong decision to know the truth. At least now, I can move on whether not knowing what had happened.
Sorry if I spoiled the night for any of you. I just couldn't help myself.
Jie yim - I think you got scared pretty bad for that short period. Don't worry. I am fine(will be). I think you will get to see more of the my other scarier side as we continue to help "Mr Low & dancers" grow. But, let's not allow this to be of hindrance to our progress, "jia you ba".
Finally, I get to read the torn pages. But, whether the twist was intention a not, it is unexpected whether I wish to accept it a not. Now, I should not and hopefully will not try to judge whether the twist was intentional a not.
But, despite the disappointing ending, I have to admit that the story was a great one. I sincere think so and wish to remain thinking that way. Although, it turned out to be more like a modern fairytale, it was still enjoyable. During the period, when I was reading it, at least.
Be it whether there would be a sequel, related to the first book or not, I hope that I would not compare or judge the second one through the feelings towards the first one.
Now that my carving to know the missing chapter is satisfied, I should move on, to hopefully the next book. Hopefully an even better one. I hope.
Anyway, thanks to people who were present today, for giving me the concern and company. I am fine. But, of course, my emotions may continue to fluctuate, so do give me time. But, trust me, it was not a wrong decision to know the truth. At least now, I can move on whether not knowing what had happened.
Sorry if I spoiled the night for any of you. I just couldn't help myself.
Jie yim - I think you got scared pretty bad for that short period. Don't worry. I am fine(will be). I think you will get to see more of the my other scarier side as we continue to help "Mr Low & dancers" grow. But, let's not allow this to be of hindrance to our progress, "jia you ba".
12 November 2007
Haunting past
Why when I haven't recover from the previous blow, another blow has to follow so close? I know its just childish comments, but it just brings back the haunting past.
Its not that I regret what I decided, just that I feel that we are all better off not walking backwards.
Maybe its not the comments, maybe its just the memories. As sweet as it may taste, it just hurts a whole deal more.
Why can't the past leave me alone? I can't sleep. Its coming back.
Fucking shit! Who am I kidding? I can't take it anymore.
Its not that I regret what I decided, just that I feel that we are all better off not walking backwards.
Maybe its not the comments, maybe its just the memories. As sweet as it may taste, it just hurts a whole deal more.
Why can't the past leave me alone? I can't sleep. Its coming back.
Fucking shit! Who am I kidding? I can't take it anymore.
scar
This entry was supposed to be last week, but I guess I was either too lazy or not 'emo' enough to blog. But, don't mistaken me, I am by no means 'emo' at the moment. Just that I feel that I should blog it down and since I have some time before I go for breakfast, so why not?
I didn't know how I was vulnerable until last week. Its amazing what just one word can do let alone a whole string of them. Its just a killer. The impact left me straggling to keep focus for the rest of the week, I was too preoccupied. All that I could turn to for distraction was games and sleep and when distractions took the side bench it just starts all over again.
All along I thought that it was just a wound, but I guess it was nothing less than a scar. A scar for life. A scar that whenever I see, I will be reminded of the regrets that are buried deep within. Regrets are just such tortures. Although I try to live without them, I just can't seem to escape the destiny of feeling regretful.
To top everything off with salt, Saturday was a killer. I was 'noobified' and ended eating Subway at home. The pain just gets amplified.
I realised that sometimes its not that people don't understand us, rather more of us not expressing ourselves more. People don't know psychic, even couples has to depend on their gut feeling.
Hope is coming. Maybe, just maybe, the scar might fade away.
I didn't know how I was vulnerable until last week. Its amazing what just one word can do let alone a whole string of them. Its just a killer. The impact left me straggling to keep focus for the rest of the week, I was too preoccupied. All that I could turn to for distraction was games and sleep and when distractions took the side bench it just starts all over again.
All along I thought that it was just a wound, but I guess it was nothing less than a scar. A scar for life. A scar that whenever I see, I will be reminded of the regrets that are buried deep within. Regrets are just such tortures. Although I try to live without them, I just can't seem to escape the destiny of feeling regretful.
To top everything off with salt, Saturday was a killer. I was 'noobified' and ended eating Subway at home. The pain just gets amplified.
I realised that sometimes its not that people don't understand us, rather more of us not expressing ourselves more. People don't know psychic, even couples has to depend on their gut feeling.
Hope is coming. Maybe, just maybe, the scar might fade away.
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