Numb but still hurts

Today, lessons ended way ahead of time as there was nothing left to cover given today was the last lesson for that module. Amy and I walked around the campus and found a corner to chit-chat while waiting for her friend, who was picking her up.

She started pouring about her ex-boyfriend and stuff, when she suddenly turned the arrow and talked about my "patience". When we were leaving she patted my back and asked me not to be sad. I wasn't exactly lying that I wasn't sad, but I was at least thinking about it.

I feel numb, but yet I experience pain.
In or out?

Getting Serious

I just finished studying 1 chapter from 1 of my modules. I am not actually being hard working, this is actually the result for feeling guilty for not spending the week off more effectively. I quited my job hoping that I will have more time to study. But, turns out I am just thinking it too easy. Although, I am going back to work next week, I have made my mind to quit after the 1 week that I promised to help them out. This time hopefully I will stick to my decision and not fall for guilt trip again.

Alright back to work, just like said I was studying after feeling guilty and I came to a conclusion. I am still more used to studying in the night, especially when everyone is asleep. I guess there is less distraction from the family. Fortunately, after 3 days off slacking and playing, I am starting to get bored of playing games. But, I do still have 1 more big temptation...and that is to sit back and enjoy Simpsons. I am really addicted to it at the moment. I have finished one and a half season in the 3 days and I still have 3 more episodes loaded waiting to be watched.

Well, I think if I don't want to regret my decision of quiting my job is to get serious and make better use of my time. Even, if I don't do well enough to go into honors(I don't think I will fail the course, then again, I shouldn't even give it any chance), I will feel better because I would dare to say that I have gave it my all.

So, I need to get serious and get things done. At the moment, I can only think of 3 things on my agenda list:

1) Studies - First Class Honors (Keeping my fingers crossed on this one)
2) Fitness - Lose 10kg? Get my strength back?
3) DI - Think of ways to improve the situation (At the moment, I don't even know what situation I am talking about.

Oh...I forgot one more thing...

*) Her - I will need someone to remind me of the above.

Sweet memories. But, probably gone with the wind...

trust

I place a lot of faith in my trust, but sometimes life just leaves me wondering whether I should continue to place my faith with it.

I am always disappointed by the happenings around me. I try to give benefit of the doubt, but sometimes the truth just stares right at me.

Yet, I don't want to stop believing, otherwise I don't know what else I can have faith in.

What is having faith and what is gullible?
Where is the line?
Trust or Denial?