why?why?why?

juz now i was watchin the drama series by Shin...veri close to my heart...if u no wat i mean...the things dey go thru as if hav a direct impact on mi...haiz...the memories...Shin...her...haiz...if onli...
aiya...if onli again...haiz...i duno y muz things b lik tt...i hav so affected now...by a few things...lets take things 1 at a time...
first...my bro...haiz...i no i can b veri dicator at times...but i mean we hav to giv n take wat...sumtimes i oso giv in w/o speakin a word wat...den y muz attitude leh...juz had a dispute wit him...haiz...y r things lik tt...dis year he O lvl liao leh...sianz sia...i dun tink he realise how serious things r gettin...m i suppose to shut him away from the com until the O lvl finish...i realli duno wat to do...
den...its bcoz of one of my meis...although i hav a lot of meis but not a lot of dem truly bothers wats wrong wit mi...onli a few...den dis one leh...i seriously duno how she tinks...but wat i no is she is havin probs wit her life...i wan to help but i cant...i feel so helpless...the fire is burnin on her side...den i standin here onli can watch...haiz...sad...
den...my sch work...its gettin from bad to worse...i duno y i juz cant concentrate...i m oredi veri tired liao lor...i realli hav no strenght to move...sumtimes i realli hope tt deres sumone to push mi...realli...haiz...
den is dance...veri worried for dem...but i duno wat to do...other den the usual scoldin wat else can i do...haiz...den now sum of dem hate mi...i feel lik cryin lor...haiz...den again...lookin at the sec 4 ppl...i feel so happy...dis ppl hav realli grown up...so happi...i was 4 great years...
den of course not forgetin her la...but dere is oso nth muc to write la...coz a lot of things cant let u ppl no...wan to no ask mi personally lor...mayb i can consider...but anyway...realli miss dose times...
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24hrRu!
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ok anonymous...the big part of the reason y i m lik tt today is bcoz of u...u wan to no y? i guess u wld...so i m goin to tell u...
juz now i was happily watchin my shin vcd...den wen hui sms mi sayin tt u replied to my last entry...so i felt the need to c things myself...but after readin liao...i realise tt deep down in mi i realli wan to no hu u r...despite wat i said in the last entry...i duno i will lik tt seriously...but juz filled wit emotions lor...i duno how to put things...but i juz feel terrible not knowin lor...so can u pls tell mi hu r u...coz i realli wan to no...
i dun understand y u dun wan to let mi lor...wats ur reason...its not as if i will eat u or sth...i m sure the fact tt u cum n read my od surely u care...since u care den y cant u tell mi hu r u...if dere is sum reason tt u cant let other ppl no tt u hav been here...den u can always tell mi thru other methods one lor...its realli veri torturous to mi not noin...so can u pls do mi dis favor...juz tell mi hu r u...
msg of e day: let mi no if u realli care...coz i oso wan to do the same...4 u...