WTH IS WRONG WIT MI?!?!?!??!

sori...guys...but i realli cant take it anymore...i tried veri hard...but i juz cant do it...i cant contain myself from goin back to the dark side...wats wrong wit mi la...i tink everything tt happened is too muc for mi to take la...i realli realli realli realli realli realli realli realli hope tt sumone can realli realli realli realli realli realli realli realli understand mi...but y y y y y y y y y y...is dere noone hu can realli realli realli realli realli realli understand mi...wats wrong...its not tt i dun wan to tok abt it or wat...but it seems tt the results r always disappointin...y is dis world so complicated...i m realli realli realli realli realli realli realli realli breakin apart...i m realli veri tired le.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
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24hrRu!
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i m heart bleedin...darkness lurks in my mind...my eyes r fogged...my mouth is silenced...i wish i can juz dispel all dis...

msg of the day:sumone destroy my darkside...

how m i suppose to react

i no mayb dis post is not expected of mi after the last post...but still i realli cant handle things tt had happen today...haiz...i realli duno how to react to all tt has happened...b strong? let my feelin show? hide in the dark? duno la...i feel all mixed up now...haiz...y i cant i b more decisive abt how i shld handle my own emotions...

seriously...sumtimes i tink i realli tink too muc for my benefit liao...in fact i tink its the truth...well sumtimes i wish i wasnt such a deep tinker...not tt its not gd or anything la...but sumtimes its bcoz of dis tt i get myself in a fiery mood...i no its not nice to show my dark side...n i no ppl around mi dun lik to c it either...but plz plz plz understand tt i realli cant help it...i duno how to explain...its not tt i cant control my emotions or wat la...but its lik....aiya...its veri complicated...duno how to explain oso...

i tink for dose readin...up to dis pt u shld b lik askin urself so wth happened tt made mi write such a entry again...well a couple of things la...haiz...dun wan to tink abt it anymore...tinkin abt it makes mi sianz...so i shld stop tinkin abt it anymore...
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24hrRu!
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if u were to choose one of dis options...wich wld u choose...the dreaded truth or the beautiful white lie...will i rather choose the dreaded truth...well...i mean sooner or later u will find out the truth wat...so y bother hiddin the truth leh...yes hiddin the truth is to prevent from saddenin the person...so ppl wld choose to lie...but dun u find it more disturbin if u got to find out the truth on urself...

eg la...if u ask ur best friend to go out wit u...but he/she say cant go out coz grounded or sth lik tt...but after tt u realise tt he/she go out wit other friends...wld u feel upset coz he/she lie to u...i tink u wld...but ur friend lie bcoz he/she dun wan u to feel tt he/she dun wan to go out wit u...but its bcoz he/she got thing on liao...so he/she decided at tt pt of time to lie to u...den u wld b lik tinkin u cld hav juz told mi the truth...

but sadly...humans r juz humans...mani lik the truth...but mostly dun lik to tell the truth...n tt includes mi...dun u all find it so ironic...u wan others to tell u the truth...yet u dun wan to tell others the truth...haiz...humans...but i muz reinforce the fact tt not all humans r lik tt...dere r bound to b special cases...

well its being a while since i did dis...but y dun u all tell mi how u tink abt dis topic...

msg of the day:if u realli mean well, den plz b frank wit mi...

enlightenment

erm...a few days since tt day...but after tt day i was rather lucky...things i say mostly come true n all...:) haha...basically...i hav been enlightenment regardin certain things abt life...hav a brand new goal,direction, perspective...new everything...:) i guess my gd luck tt was mentioned in "qian" is coming true liao...haha...i m such a happi person now...coz i realli lik the changes goin on...

life hav been magical ever since things hav changed ard here...i will cherish wat i hav now n try persue my goals slow n steady...yeah...take things slowly...i guess i hav realli changed into a better person...or rather mayb the gd old sam is back ba...:) nono...i m not tt old happi go lucky sam....i m the brand new happi but not go lucky...coz things tt we wan muz b persued...yeah...tts it...

but i got to admit...all dis time b4 all dis changes take place ard here...my tinkin is so blinded...everyday is cloudy...but now its diff...everyday is a special day...i feel so blessed...mani probs tt i hav been worried abt has come to an end...family cca....blah blah...now i can look at life back den n laugh at silly moments...sumtimes finish though...but dose r the past...i shall let dere stay bhind mi...but if the person hu was holdin a special place in my heart durin dis whole 3 years...plz dun tink tt all dis unhappiness or cloudy days r brought by u...i wan u to no tt...if not bcoz of u mayb it wld hav been worse...so u wun b forgotten...i will continue to remember u...juz hope tt things will resume as it was 3 years ago...

o ya... i musnt forget to thank dose standin by mi...:) i my such a fortunate person to b surrounded by all dis wonderful ppl...realli appreciate it... one of dis days i m goin to do another mass testimonials for everyone i hold dear...

finally enlightenment is once again in hand...but i will not stop dere...i will pass dis enlightenment n the happiness tt it comes wit down to other ppl ard mi...:)
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24hrRu!
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life is beautiful...all dis wonderful changes is oso coz of ur contributions...it wun b as wonderful w/o ur enterance...i juz wan to say a proper thank you to u for all tt u hav brought along...though u may not hav done anything...but its juz the way of nature tt god has attached an aura of happiness to u...wich spreads to everyone u meet...well tts my tinkin...sum day i will do all the proper thank you to you :) to mi u had oredi held a special position in my life...i duno how u truely feel abt mi... but i aint goin to push things...i hav make too mani mistakes in my life tt i regret...i dun wan to giv dis chance amiss again...so i will juz let things take its course...if things were meant to b...it will surely b...:)

msg of the day:if wat u said was a dream,i wish i will nv wake up from it...(to 'her' hu once held tt special position)