gd things nv last,bad things come n come again...

ppl always say gd things nv last, sum say bad things come n come again...well i kinda hav to agree wit it...in the previous entries i had been given veri bright inspiration n stuff lik tt...but i guess all dis motivation tt i giv others isnt recieved by myself...even if it was...i guess it didnt stay...

left 7 days to prelim le...n yet today i had done nth...i duno wat has gotten into mi...m i juz plain lazy or is dere more to it...life is so difficult...i longer hav tt sense of direction i use to follow...my sixth sense abt things r diluted...the possiblity of dem comin true is gettin lesser n lesser...sumtimes i realli feel lik givin up on lookin for the answer n juz rot myself away...

but is dis it...m i suppose to juz giv up on myself now...or izzit my time is almost over...life force slowin drainin away...first my energy...den my memory...den slowin vanish into thin air...it might happen...hu noes...feelin helpless...feelin tt i need a rest...realli rest...but wat is the shity thing is tt i cant even sit for one sec not tinkin abt the bloody a lvl comin up...

life is so hard in sg...its so stressful...i dun lik it...but i dont hav a say in it...do i...argh...spare the crap la...its no use...i m juz tryin to avoid things...

haiz...sumtimes i hope miracles realli happened...but most of all its now...as most of u all shld no by now...it takes more den persuadin to convince mi to do sth...especially if its sth tt i resist...onli logic n inspiration can do the trick...all along i had been dependin on friends teachers n family to giv mi tt...but it seems tt i had gotten too used to it oredi...now i kinda not affected by "low lvl" persuadin...so rather a tough nut to crack...suan le ba...its no use sittin n waitin...though i realli hope sum angel get it into tt thick skull of mine...
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24hrRu!
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i realised i realli hav a prob expressin myself especially recently...i mean lik when i m dam sad...sumtimes i feel lik cryin...but den its lik juz blocked up...nth comin out...veri cham...tormentin sia...haiz...

the other time... i was bloody pissed wit the ginas...zhenyu shld no best abt the atmosphere back den...wao lao...oredi pissed enuff liao...den i recieved a bloody saddenin msg...wa...i tell u huh...its lik fallin into a btmless pit sia...wan to cry cant cry...wan to shout cant shout...veri helpless at tt pt of time...wa...sianz ar...

den now...got a lot of emotions welled up in mi...wan to express out oso cant...wanted to write a song out of it...but nth seems to come out...but dun write lik cant leh...veri sianz lor...btw in case u ppl r wonderin abt the song part...yes i do compose songs...but mostly not publish...coz dey r mostly veri private...haha...anyway cant write songs...so i wrote poems...but seriously i feel tt dey lack content n feel la...no value one...juz crap...argh...giv mi back my inspiration...later even gp oso cant write i die ar...

msg of the day:dun hide ur emotions, it will juz well up...one day it will b totally blocked...