finally i c reality...but izzit too late?

kk...its 12am...after dis i m goin to turn in n wake up to another day of muggin...zzz...today mug the whole day...wit a short gamin break of abt 1h...n durin certain times of the day watchin tv while i mug...not veri productive...haiz...juz dun hav enuff determination...wat to do...tml i tink i wan to try to b more discipline wit myself...mayb keep myself in my rm...dere no tv n com...onli radio n my hp...i tink tt amount of distraction wun b too muc ba...

well today marks the last day for my maths revision...but i still 16 topics haven cover...ok la...actually not a lot...since the tys break dem up into small parts...but still i failed my plan...not discipline enuff...once again...lets hope i can squeeze time from the other subj...i blive if i work harder the next 2 wks might b able to do tt...

i duno wat holds for mi in the future...dare not tink abt wat kind of grades i will recieve next year march...coz i myself "knowin" myself "well enuff" i duno how i will b goin to react if i get grades even lower den expectation...well i duno wat to say...but dis wkend realli let mi feel the press for time when my maths revision days r goin to b over...luckily i m left wit 2wks...i wldnt imagine how bad things wld b if i onli feel it at the end of dis 3 wks of study break...

now all i can do is to regret tt i haven been workin hard durin term time...i c reality...finally...i hope i m still in time...coz i dun wan to b late...i hate been late...haiz...
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24hrRu!
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well actually i didnt no wat to write for dis coloumn...but juz now when i ended the entry i ended it wit the comments on being late...it spark of a tot in mi...well ppl hu no mi well n goes out wit mi often...sure no i m a person hu is veri time consious...i m seldom late...even if i m late...i normally will still b the first to arrive...duno y...haha...but the thinng is i hate being late la...coz i dun lik ppl to wait for mi...but the weird thing is tt i dun mind waitin for ppl...haha...

mayb coz i can get to live the moment for tt short period...i mean u get to listen to ur fav songs on ur disc man...n watch as the world walk by...lookin at the ppl rushin thru deir hectic life...n at the clouds floatin thru the clear blue sky...tinkin abt things tt had happened b4...gd or bad...sounds veri touchy rite...well i guess it is kind of sedimental lik wat zhenyu wld say...if i tink of gd things...i nv fail to giv a smile to it...but if i tink of bad things...i hav nv been able to release from it...at least not emotionally...

the feelin is lik being locked in a world w/o sound & sight...today i watched one the epi of bleach...dere is dis captain tt can use bunkai tt puts his oppo in a world w/o sight sound n smell...a world of total darkness...total fear...well i kinda feel lik tt at veri bad times...

well i shant continue on the feelin part...anyway being late sumtimes will coz u to regret...yet u cldnt do anything to change it in the first place...since u dun even no u r late for it...until u r oredi too late...den will u realise...u might tink wat the hell m i tokin abt...well...i m tokin abt fate...well i duno m i tinkin too muc or wat la...i seriously tink tt i m always late in fate...up till now at least...n bcoz of dis...i hav a lot of regrets...regrets tt not a simple sori or pai seh will do...coz nth will change the fact tt u r being late in fate...onli regrettin is left...

msg of the day:if onli i didnt hesitate to take the first step back den...
...den mayb things wldnt b the way dey r now.