injured

today i woke up at 1 lik tt...coz my whole body veri tired...+ i m injured wat...cannot help it la...oso muz pay back the hrs of lost sleep...haha...
other den been physically injured i oso need to heal from my emotional injury...haiz...
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24hr{S}a{E}:to all the dancers...yesterday i didnt had muc time to say all tt i wanted to say...but i m realli happi to b here wit all of u...i always look forward to the next dance prac...tts y when dere is a break for tests or exam...life seems veri sianz...i m realli glad i hav the honor of being ur chairman...10z for giving mi suc a wonderful 4 years nan hua dance...take care ppl...i will miss all of u...
msg of the day:all of u r wonderful ppl...

chalet day3/dance camp(10z to one-off n rohan)

today 6.30 wake up...den mi n mao go clear the rubbish at the back...clear finish liao...dey tell us no need to clear one...-_-""...nvm...den go home change...den go help da esther n mt buy sum sth...den go dance lor...haha...helped to cari out sum games...
den during dance i developed a fever...one-off n rohan showed care n concern to my fever...10z a lot...n o ya... the dancers hu bothered to ask mi how m i feeling...i realli appreciate it lor...i especially wan to 10z mt n mao...mao u stood by mi all the time...n help mi got water...change water... n so muc so muc...10z brother...i realli appreciate it...n mt...u were so worried...i m so donged... wan to cry liao...haha...u n the rest of one-off even wanted to cum into the guys toliet to c wat happen to mi...tt shows how muc u care...u even lend mi ur towel...:'(...donged...n u later oso ask wen bing for hers too...n to the rest of one-off...i can tell u ppl realli care...for example...xiu was lik telling mi tt fruit juice can relief heat...haha...
den after tt we prac for the dedication item for mr low...den oso prac on the tian gao di hou...haha...had fun..i ask mr low help mi take a look at my injuried hand...den he say will take quite a long time to heal...since it is muscle la dao...sianz...
den at nite the dedication lor....veri fun...haha...shin best...haha...take care ppl...i will miss all of u...n especially jt...he goin off tml...i wish him all the best...he had been lik a brother to mi lik tt...i can always count on u for advice on things...from life to dance...10z a lot...its sad to c u go...but i guess dis is the way of life...take care...
den after everything we goin for supper...den i decided to throw away sth tt i wanted to giv her...since she doesnt wan it...but i dam stupid lor...the drain so big i miss it...n hit jiu rong's nose...sori hor jiu rong...haiz...stupid fool...i sux man...sianz...den i got worked up n started to hit everything wit my fist n leg...in the end i injuried myself...
den go clementi mac for supper...but onli bought a large cup of sprite...den i decided to take a cab n go home...coz my leg veri pain...veri hard to walk...
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24hr{S}a{E}:i had finally made my decision to giv up on her liao...haiz...jiu rong told mi tt i hav to b able to let go emotionally...n torturing myself wun help...i oso no...but i juz cant help it...sianz...during dis 254 days i hadnt been veri happi...according to mao...abt 60% of the time i m sad over dis thing...i no...i juz wan to say sori to ppl hu is affected my actions...n wan her to no tt although things didnt work out i m veri grateful to her oredi...coz she helped thru sum of the darkest time in life...10z...i hope tt she will b happi n find the guy of her dreams soon...
msg of the day:forgetting is impossible,letting go is the onli way...

chalet day 2

today wake up at 6...onli sleep max 2h...coz sleep at 4...but keep on disturbed by the ppl watching soccer downstairs...haha...GOAL!!...den mi mao n daryl go to the main island...den daryl go sch first...den i go mao house coz he wan to take contact lens...coz his specs kana hit by the volleyball yesterday...
den go dance lor...played a obstacle course wit the dancers...but i injuried my hand...sianz...haha...but it was fun...den go buy bbq stuff...altogether we all over budget abt $40-$50...haha...den at nite bbq lor...den sum go k-box...haha...den i sleep at 1+...
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24hr{S}a{E}:
msg of the day:sleep well if not lik mi...

chalet day1

today morning go wenqin house to register for the first 3 months...but server down...so play a little bit of lf2...den he go bath coz he wan to go ice skate liao...haha...den i go home lor...prepare for the chalet...
den chao gao siao lor...i told kien yien to call mi when he reach the bus stop so i can go fetch him...but i he didnt hear it...so he nv call...den he lik bai chi lik tt wait lor...den i tot...dis so late still haven cum...den i find him lor...heng he still dere...
den go habour front meet the rest of dem lor...haha...den go for lunch lor...haha...den we swim...n play beach volleyball...so dam fun sia...haha...but dinner had to eat frozen food...so sad...
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24hr{S}a{E}:the next 3 entry oso written on 29-9-03...so i not goin to write in dis column for all of dem...
msg of the day:being wit friends is fun

change liao

hm...i finished writing all the letters to sum ppl liao...ofcourse tt includes her...i guess i was rather ma xing le by her friend lor...made my decision liao...i change everything related to her liao...from my signature, od, msn,irc...quite a lot la...firstly is to help mi forget lor...secondly is so tt she wun b sad coz she wun b cing dem...
now i hav to say sori to dose hu i wrote letter to...coz of dis changes dose letters tt i write b4 i decided to change everything will c mi cancelling tt signature...haha...sori hor...a bit messy...but i put effort n heart into writing it one leh...haha...hu r the lucky ones huh?...haha...:P
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Kh!! !:anyway i wun b mentionin abt her anymore from now on in od unless it has to do wit wat happen tt day la...but definitely not emotional stuff la...n i will try to bring u guys more inspirational stuff lor...anyway hu can figure out Kh!! ! means wat...if tt person can giv mi the answer i got prize one...haha...but muz mi the meanin tt i my using it as...giv u all one clue...the cule is my life...haha...lousy clue...:P...u tink so easy get prize meh...muz get exact meaning one leh...haha...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:love the heart tt hurts u, but dun hurt the heart tt loves u...

ice skate

today early in the morning go je wait for dem...for breakfast...den in the end onli xiu cum...den we go for ice skate...den xiu go meet her cousin n childhood friend...den after tt kelvin from 3/10 n his friend...den after tt saw sum nan hua ppl...haha...den wen bing cum meet us...we went for a snack...den go play arcade...haha...den go shop for birthday presents...haha...den go home liao...
today mi mao n zhu finally came out wit our proper group name...call illusion...haha...veri nice rite...:P...jk jk...
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24hr{S}a{E}:tml is the chalet liao...i will try to forgot her during tt time...i hav decided tt i shld stop counting n start forgeting...but till den...haiz...
msg of the day:ai hen jian dan,bu ai hen bu jian dan

shoppin

today go orchard buy sum stuff lor...haha...buy 2 t shirt n a jeans...for new year one la...sianz...haha...walk so long...den after tt go home liao lor...
tml goin to ice skate...hm...still bz settling the ppl...sianz...until now still haven confirm yet...haiz...nvm la...
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24hr{S}a{E}:hm...today nth muc to write here la...haha...quite tired actually...haha...tml still hav to wake up at 9... sleep early??...mayb lor...c first...
msg of the day:dun do last min work

magic stock check/touching story

today did sum stock check on my magic collection...onli looked thru veri little of dem...still got a lot to go...mayb later go look thru more of dem ba...haha...den juz now played ft wit mao...haha...lose again...summore skills all drop...sianz...nvm...train lor...haha...
today one-off making cookie...haha...duno edible a not...haha...jk jk...sure can one la...haha...remember to bake mao n my share hor...haha...
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24hr{S}a{E}:nth muc to write here...sianz...still sitting on the fence...i guess it will take time lor...duno...haiz...
msg of the day:bu zai hu tian chang di jiu,zhi zai hu chen jing yong you {
[Extra] 24hr{S}a{E}:dis is an addition to todays entry...juz now i was watching chobits...for dose hu no dis anime...its abt robots name persocons...dis robots act lik human...but arent human...but the main pt i wan to bring out here is not abt the story...for ppl hu wans reference...its from chap21...its abt a guy fallin in love wit his persocon...he even married her...dey were very happy together...until one day when the persocon begin to lose her memory...the repairman said tt her hard disk was spoilt...n had to b replaced...but her memories will b lost...it was sad for the guy...but he accepted it...one day the persocon sacrificed her life to save the guy when a truck almost bang into him...the persocon was damaged byond repair...although the persocon will nv remember him again...but the guy remembered her for the rest of his life...
i was so touched by the story tt i came online immediately to add on to dis entry...i juz wanted her to no tt i wld do the same no matter wat the outcome is i will always remember her lik tt guy in the story...coz u r the one hu changed mi...in the past i used to b more solemn n serious...n so the more pessimistic...but i change mi...i bcum more n more optimistic...n its not onli my opinion...sum ppl oso say so...but i was unable to change enuff to meet ur expectation of being optimistic...i m sori...but i will continue to work on it...not onli had mi turning optimistic help mi out in life...but if i m goin to pursue my dreams...
i no i m not significant to u...so even if u forget mi n delete mi off ur memory bank...i wun b surprised...i no dis is getting mi nowhere...n i guess u dun lik it...but pls giv mi time...to get over it...but i wan her to no tt...she will always b engraved in my mind...
S'ayapo
msg 2 of the day:even if i was deleted off ur memory bank,u will still always b engraved in my mind

bishan

today went to bishan to buy sum cards for my deck...my deck completed liao...gd sia...haha...den played a few rounds wit ppl dere...the ppl we play wit all lose us...haha...
den go expo find my parents...my auntie down dere sellin herbal tea at the food fair...go support hor...haha...the name is yi ping liang cha...haha...den i help down dere lor...let ppl try samples...but i didnt get the job...my auntie employed other ppl liao...oso relatives...den got one auntie dem power shout the slogan so long her throat still not pain...pro...haha...summore not pai seh one...i look up to her...haha...
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24hr{S}a{E}:nth muc to say la...u muz no tt the previous entry oso write today liao...u tink one day got how mani tots...haha...gao siao...:P...anyway...saw her when goin to meet my friends...haha...is dis fate...i duno...confused...
msg of the day:if u r fated to get sth,u will get it eventually...

grad nite

i went to sch i the morning to tak testimonial...haha...still duno if i shld go to jc for the first 3 months a not...wat u guys tink...any advice...
den go home prepare for tonite grad nite...i used 1h to finish dressing myself...haha...den go downstairs for lunch...den realise nv put deodourant...haha...den go back put lor...den go sch...haha...den realise my shoe got hole...so sway...den go ginza c can fix a not...den he say...need at least until 6...tt is lik the time the grad nite start lor...den it will cost 45...so ex...siao...might as well get new pair...den bo bian go home wear another pair lor...
den go grad nite...so mani interesting dressing sia...cool...i lik the part where ppl share how dey feel...moz touching?...cld b better wit sum music...den after tt go je tok tok wit yan n mao...den later yan go home...i sit around wit mao jeff wenqin bernard n guang yao(i tink dis is his name)...
i m realli goin to miss everyone...ppl from 4/7 n dance...n sum other ppl not included in dis 2 groups...u all hav help mi cum a long way...i realli realli appreciate it...10z a lot...sum of u help mi walk thru the obstacle of life...n dere is one of u tt i realli realli hav to 10...but i dun wan to state ur name...i scare later u will pai seh...or in dis case mi too...u help mi not onli once but a lot times...i remember tt dere was a time when i tot of suicide...but u scold mi to my senses...10z again...
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24hr{S}a{E}:yesterday went a bit crazy...i was still tinking abt her lor...den i shouted out of a sudden...den gave sum of dem a fright...sori guys...haiz...i cant carri on lik dis any longer...
msg of the day:u cant hold on to it forever...

the hunt 2

today i wan to 11 one leh...but 8+ wake up le...cannot sleep...den go sch meet mt dey all lor...den after tt go queensway meet mao buy his clothes...power sia...first shop found liao...haha...den go jp play arcade...haha...
den my aunt got job for mi!!...yes...10am-10pm $100...not bad la...but not confirm yet...haha...if confirm liao i will b at expo...den got subordinate one leh...haha...
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24hr{S}a{E}:haiz...still lik no change leh...still tinking?...anyway... the few of dem keep saying i changed...realli meh?...i duno...mayb i turn more optimistic liao ba...coz she keep saying i pessimistic...duno...
msg of the day:the cup is onli half full...no no...shld b...the cup is oredi half full...haha...

the hunt

today go hunt for the clothes for grad nite...morning actually wan to wake up lik 11 one...but my mother call mi bring sth to her workplace...so wake up at 9+ instead...den i go je lor...suppose to meet at 12.30...but i reach at 11...so early...den go play arcade for 1h...spend $4...
den go to far east wit mt xiu ling wen bing n kai wei...haha...got a white t dere...haha...den after tt go wisma...got a black shirt...den go tiong bahru n got a black cargo pants...haha...veri tiring day...
10z to the 3 gals...i m sure i will look great...haha...10z guys...treat u all again sum other time...
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24hr{S}a{E}:juz now at tiong bahru the sales gal has the same name as her...den its lik so concincidental lor...coz b4 we enter the shop i was tokin to mao n xiu abt her lor...(coz the rest all go home liao)den i was lik choosing the pants...den she ask if she cld help...den i turn around n saw her name tag...same name sia...haha...the sales gal was veri nice n efficient...she altered the length of the pants in 1/2 h...fast nia...the other shops say wat 5 days...siao...how can...haha...anyway...i didnt realli giv the issue a serious tot today...so i guess i will b counting today too...hope i get my answer soon...
msg of the day:if u blive,ull hav faith...

is dis the end

today is the last paper liao lor...haha...yeah...suppose to go bishan one lor...but den in the end nv go...haha... coz everyone nv bring money n deir decks...haha...den i wanted to help mao on his chem...den nv go lor...mao say his chem shld b able to get A1...den our efforts will b paid off lor...
i dun tink i will b goin for the first 3 months...scared?...wat if i cannot fit in...haiz...i no i lik tt veri pessimistic...but wat to do...so mani things to consider...juz hope tt the results r delightin...haha...pray hard lor...
den after tt go dance lor...sianz lor...although paper end le but still haiz...duno y lor...from today morning got bad feeling abt wat is goin to b her answer...den nth interesting happened la...den mi mt n mao decided to call our group ming xing dong wu yuan...haha...actually is i decide one...haha...craps...called ming xing dong yuan coz dey 2 got animal nicks...as for mi...duno leh...haha...
n o ya...today mr low dam angry...haiz...i duno wat is goin to happen to u guys n dance in the days down the road...hope things will turn out fine...
den after dance suppose to go eat dinner...den mt cannot go...den xiu oso nv go liao lor...haha...nvm lor...mao mi n mi bro go lor...
den reach home onli for less den 1/2h my bro kao bei mi over a stupid game thingy...sux sia...
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24hr{S}a{E}:juz now i was tokin to her on the phone...tok for abt 3h?...lik veri long hor...but den muz of the time is quiet one...no topic ba...(i hope u dun mind mi writing all dis)anyway as i was saying...i called to ask her out lor...but juz as my sixth sense told mi lor...she rejected...haiz...bo bian lor...dun go out lor...haiz...actually now i duno wat to do liao...do i continue...or giv up lik she says...is dis the end...i duno...but until i get an definite answer i will still b counting...but hey...at least we r still friends...
this paragraph is dedicated for u...i m realli happi tt i meet u...n hav a chance to b ur friend...although our relationship did not work out(bcoz it did not even start)...but still i wan to 10q for all the happiness u hav brought mi...when i m sad u r able to make mi happi...u ask mi how u did it...i oso dun realli no...u juz do lor...today actually i was rather hit by ur answer although i sort of expected it...but den still u made it turned out tt my spirits r rather lightened up...i m realli grateful for dis...10z again...i hope tt we will continue to mi great friends...i tink i dun say too muc la...coz i tink mayb writing a letter to u...hm...c first lor...if got inspiration den write lor...
msg of the day:u will always b part of my memory

dis is how i feel now

The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be ignored.
To lose the person you love so much to another who doesn't care at all.
To have someone you care so about so much throw a party... and not tell you about it.
When your favorite person on earth neglects to invite you to her graduation.
To have people think that you don't care.
The greatest pain in life, is not to die, but to be forgotten.
To be left in the dust after another's great achievement.
To never get a call from a friend, just saying "hi".
When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.
For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits.
When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you.
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24hr{S}a{E}:this poem was taken from a email...it was written by a little girl hu committed suicide...i guess she didnt no wat to do to due wit her prob...tts y she ended her own life...i guess i m at the same spot as her...but i tink tt suicide is juz goin to hurt the others even more...n i blive tt the person hu coz u to do it will regret forever n will not b able to forgive himself or herself...so i dun blive in making sumone suffer to conpensate for my sufferings...but sumtimes it is not sth tt is of my control...do u tink tt i m such a reckless person...at times i admit i m...but its onli when i m blinded...i juz hope tt i m not blinded when suicide cums to my mind...
its hard to due wit ppl...its hard to help others due wit deir probs...its even harder to due wit ur own prob... i m realli stressed up other everything rite now...n juz tinking abt it is torturous...u might say juz dun tink abt it...but hav u tot tt u cant juz stop tinking abt it...even if u did it will juz cum back n haunt u...i feel tt the onli practical thing to do is to solve it instead of let it lie dere...easier said den done...wat can i do...i lack will power...courage...i duno if i cld face dis alone...but if not alone den wat...
i m grateful tt i can spend time wit my friends...it keeps mi off things...but dey cant b wit mi all the time...juz lik the lyrics from the song dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui...actually i hate the fact tt time flies...wun it b gd tt if time cld stop at the moment when u feel tt u r the happiest man or woman on earth...but the ugly truth wun allow it...so wat deres nth much tt we can do...cum to tink of it...i onli hav one sentence to say abt everything...
l靎?顂 s郿
msg of the day:if onli time cld stop at tt moment...

wat is wrong

today had physic paper...paper 1 shld b can get a ba...hope so lor...haha...paper 2 harder but i tink still can make it la...den after tt go dance...ok lor...got to hang around wit the sec 4 guys again...so fun...haha...but during prac i did sum cartwheels...den my pants tear...sianz...den call kai wei help mi get pants on his way back from bowling wit kenrick n mao...the thing was she dere lor...duno got c a not...hope not...so embrassing...sianz...den dey all oso veri gao siao one leh....buy orange pants for mi...win liao lor...haiz...better den nth lor...
den after tt go eat wit mt xiu ling n one guy called jovial...b4 tt sth happened...it made mi veri sad...haiz...wat to do...den after tt tt horse cum lor...den we go home liao...haiz...
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24hr{S}a{E}:tml is 240 days liao...= to 8 months lor...sianz...i realli duno wat to do lor...i duno wat u wan...i duno wats wrong...u told mi to giv up...i didnt...but oso no need to treat mi lik tt wat...haiz...mayb i m too sensitive...it hurts to b in my position...i guess mayb u wun b cing dis...but i realli dun wan to keep to myself...i dun others to bare the consequences if i did...i m realli scare...i dun wan to go thru IT again...I DUN WAN!!
msg of the day:aufwartung

poem

开始是永恒的期望。

你的笑容，
是我的力量。
你的眼泪，
是我的悲伤。

你的或许，
是我的希望。
你的算了，
使我受伤。

等待是唯一的光芒。
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24hr{S}a{E}:this poem is written when i woke up from a nap...juz got a inspiration lor...not veri gd la...but oso not veri lan rite?...haha...bleahz...anithing la...wat do u guys tink...anyway to dose hu cannot read the words...encode to chi can le...haha...
msg of the day:waiting is the the onli light...

haiz...

today emaths paper 1...not bad la...shld b can get A1...hm...duno la...haha...tml is el n ss paper muz jia you...
den go to mac with mao n pand...helped dem revise physics...haha...benefit myself too...den after tt mt cum meet to study...
but den in the end go out with xiu ling mich wang and serena...go fajar study actually i m now still in fajar...got the urge to write dis entry coz not feeling gd...so i nv tell dem den cum out liao...sure dey veri puzzled...sori guys...
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24hr{S}a{E}:now is o lvl period not suppose to b writing dis...but had to letit out...if not oso no mood to continue studying...hm...after o lvl got a lot of plans...hope tt it ends quickly...jia you...
msg of the day:veri stressed argh...