scary movie 3/new job

yesterday n today went for a new job...giv flyer for my tuition centre...onli 2 days onli...haha...den today last day liao lor...den the other job at my auntie factory oso end le...coz muz prepare for my jc first day wat...haha...actually is juz rest lor...
today oso watched scary movie 3...it is god dam lame sia...haha...haha...wan to roll on the floor sia...haha...veri stress relieving lor...not bad for a comedy la...i recommended it la...but NC-16...not everyone will get to watch...haha...
the pay i got from 2 jobs...i bought sum christmas gift n oso lotr 3in1 bk...a personal organiser bk...n 2 movies...one is scary movie 3 n the other one is treat my bro...haha...
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Kh!! !:haha...mao crap sia...say wat u no...wrong answer la...haha...ppl keep guessin n mayb one of u will get the answer...haha...not so easy de la...haha...anyway still not feelin better...as in emotionally...or shld i say i m in a lost...i tot i found my path liao...but it seems tt sumone destroyed the path n stopped mi from getting to the other side...duno la...will stay strong n face life lor...haha...but dere will still b times when i will b down lor...so dun b surprise when u c mi feelin down...i guess mayb life jiu shi zhe yang de la...
i guess i had oredi been thru a lot in dis short 4 years...i tink i hav been realli tortured a lot along the way...i had been thru sorrow, loniness, pain n mani other torturous experience...dere was a time when i was emotionally cheated...i was lied to times n times again...n the person until now still haven tell mi the truth...haiz... i duno wat to do wit tt person la...lik u all shld no...i hate ppl hu lie to mi especially if it involves my emotions...i can get veri emotional at times...so pls dun lie to mi... i rather u being blunt but frank...i feel better tt way...i realli dun lik it lor...
sum times i realli get emotional...but i juz cant cry...sumtimes is not tt i dun wan to...but i juz cant...mayb coz i told myself b4 tt i shldnt cry anymore...but sumtimes the occasion juz make mi wan to cry but cant... lik dance camp tt time.. i was veri sad tt everyone is leaving n all...n sth esle oso...but i juz cant cry lor...mayb my mind had been set tt way...but not long ago i was goin to sleep suddenly i felt tears from my eye...i was upset...i was sad...i was feelin sorrow...pain...left to weep in the dark...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:left to weep in the dark

::her:: friend

i actually online not to write any entry one...but ur note had made mi done so...
i agree totally wit ur note...yes i realli do...no faking...but i hav to admit tt i was realli traumatized by the note...but i realli agree...i guess i juz cant accept the fact but...actually i could tell tt i m still hurting her...but i juz duno y i did all dose things...tts y everytime after i do dem i get veri upset n keep apologizing to her...but she will juz say nvm...sumtimes we even "fight"...i hate when tt happens...even if it happens between mi n a friend...i guess i m juz a insensitive jerk hu doesnt tink b4 doin anything...onli after...but after it dere will b no pt tinking coz it had oredi happened...i always do dis kind of things...wich get myself into trouble...u might tink tt i m a veri nice guy my friends...
but let tell u sth i m not...the ugly truth is so...nth can change it...i always tot myslef...i m so selfcentred tt i dun tink abt others...yes i m a jerk...ppl...after u read dis mayb u will agree tt i realli m a jerk...n u can decide to stop bfriendin mi anymore...i wun blame u...dun show mi sympathy...i dun deserve it...dun try to console mi...coz it wun work...i m juz so sturbborn...yes i m...now den u no ba...
anyway to ::her:: friend...i juz wan to say i no wat to do...juz giv mi time to finish wat i shld do...everything will b fine by den...mayb u wun even c mi anymore...ppl if u no wat dis means...dun try to tok to mi abt it coz i might get things worse...life is destinied...if i hav to die i will...btw ::her:: friend dun tink by leaving ur name lik tt i duno hu r u...coz i no...its juz a guess...but i got 80% feeling tt its hu i tink u r...n u oso say find sumone new...ya lik real...pls lor...i m sure u oso fall in love b4...how can anyone do tt in suc a short time...plus i m SO attached...u can blive if u wan to or not...i dun care...
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24hra}€:to her...this is the last time u will c dis coloumn ever again...coz dere will b no more after dis entry...if u r reading dis dun feel tt its ur fault tt i had bcum lik dis or anything lik tt...its not ur fault...stop blaming urself...dun let mi b ur burden...n will not b ur burden anymore after i finish wat i hav to do...mayb things will b better n happier for u dis way...i really duno wat to say anymore...i m now realli veri hostile at dis veri moment...hope tt i dun feel dis way tml...coz its dangerous...actually i was tinking of writing u a letter together wit the christmas gift lik i do for everyone hu has a share...now i look at things...mayb i will not b writing it anymore...i duno...it depends on how i feel after dis...i m sori tt i hav even coz any "injury" to u...tts all i can say...pls pls...dun let mi b ur burden...coz i m not...
to other ppl reading dis...lik i said above...dun try to tok sense into mi...coz i wun go in...get it...i might b veri hostile in the days to cum...so bcareful...i dun wan to hurt anyone...realli pls...i had done it b4...n i regretted it until dis day...i REALLI REALLI DUN WAN TO HURT ANYONE...
I REALLI FEEL LIK JUZ CRYING OUT RITE NOW...BUT I CANT...I JUZ CANT...I CANT EVEN FIND MY COURAGE TO DO WAT IS RITE...I M DEEPLY HURT DIS TIME...NOT BY HER...BY MYSELF...BY BLOODY STINKIN SELF...
msg of the day:BWARE OF MI

dedication

haha...lik i said lor...i will b working on dis entry...haha...
::her::[If w銬雟?/FONT> ?s鋓d wa??dr脘m , pra?/FONT> th鋞 will neVer w鋕?up fr簃 it.. ]
::mao::[time to find urself ur soul mate liao lor]
::zhu::[dun burden urself,even holding a cup can tire u out]
::yan::[time has not cum yet,keep lookin n u will find ur "her"]
::wenqin::[hope tt u n stella hui tian chang di jiu]
::xiu::[if u r fated to get sth,u will get it eventually]
::mw::[ru guo shi qing bu ru yi, bu yao hui xin, yao yong gan mian dui]
::daryl::<10z>[yo yo, or-jiao]
::wenbing::[hope tt u will b happi always]
::shi xiong di::[SHIN forever]
::dance members::[u r all wonderful ppl]
::present exco::[a gd leader brings his/her followers to we dey wan to b,but a great leader bring dem where didnt no but ought to b]
::next exco::[b responsible n do ur job well]
::4/7::[bai ren chen jin]
::evan::[or-ci]
::zhanyu::[stop drooling liao la]
::huiqi::::kelvin n wee long::[oi rubdium stop dreaming a jolene cai liao la]
::magic gang::[dere is no ultimate deck]
::J & J(Sam fan club)::[Sam rawks, WOO!]
::rest of my meis::[wat r kors for]
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24hra}€:hope i didnt miss out anyone...even if i did...i juz wan u all to no tt...u had contributed into my life one way or another...i will b moving on from here...so catch u ppl around...i no dis dedications all veri short...but juz cant find wat to say...den even if got a lot to say oso cannot...coz got limit wat...haha...take care ppl...anyone can contact mi if got prob...thru msn, email, hp, od...watever la...24hra}€ always here...haha...
msg of the day:we might b miles away,but memories will always stay...

dedication

haha...lik i said lor...i will b working on dis entry...haha...
::her::[If w銬雟?/FONT> ?s鋓d wa??dr脘m , pra?/FONT> th鋞 will neVer w鋕?up fr簃 it.. ]
::mao::[time to find urself ur soul mate liao lor]
::zhu::[dun burden urself,even holding a cup can tire u out]
::yan::[time has not cum yet,keep lookin n u will find ur "her"]
::wenqin::[hope tt u n stella hui tian chang di jiu]
::xiu::[if u r fated to get sth,u will get it eventually]
::mw::[ru guo shi qing bu ru yi, bu yao hui xin, yao yong gan mian dui]
::daryl::<10z>[yo yo, or-jiao]
::wenbing::[hope tt u will b happi always]
::shi xiong di::[SHIN forever]
::dance members::[u r all wonderful ppl]
::present exco::[a gd leader brings his/her followers to we dey wan to b,but a great leader bring dem where didnt no but ought to b]
::next exco::[b responsible n do ur job well]
::4/7::[bai ren chen jin]
::evan::[or-ci]
::zhanyu::[stop drooling liao la]
::huiqi::::kelvin n wee long::[oi rubdium stop dreaming a jolene cai liao la]
::magic gang::[dere is no ultimate deck]
::J & J(Sam fan club)::[Sam rawks, WOO!]
::rest of my meis::[wat r kors for]
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24hra}€:hope i didnt miss out anyone...even if i did...i juz wan u all to no tt...u had contributed into my life one way or another...i will b moving on from here...so catch u ppl around...i no dis dedications all veri short...but juz cant find wat to say...den even if got a lot to say oso cannot...coz got limit wat...haha...take care ppl...anyone can contact mi if got prob...thru msn, email, hp, od...watever la...24hra}€ always here...haha...
msg of the day:we might b miles away,but memories will always stay...

dedication

haha...lik i said lor...i will b working on dis entry...haha...
::her::[If w銬雟?/FONT> ?s鋓d wa??dr脘m , pra?/FONT> th鋞 will neVer w鋕?up fr簃 it.. ]
::mao::[time to find urself ur soul mate liao lor]
::zhu::[dun burden urself,even holding a cup can tire u out]
::yan::[time has not cum yet,keep lookin n u will find ur "her"]
::wenqin::[hope tt u n stella hui tian chang di jiu]
::xiu::[if u r fated to get sth,u will get it eventually]
::mw::[ru guo shi qing bu ru yi, bu yao hui xin, yao yong gan mian dui]
::daryl::<10z>[yo yo, or-jiao]
::wenbing::[hope tt u will b happi always]
::shi xiong di::[SHIN forever]
::dance members::[u r all wonderful ppl]
::present exco::[a gd leader brings his/her followers to we dey wan to b,but a great leader bring dem where didnt no but ought to b]
::next exco::[b responsible n do ur job well]
::4/7::[bai ren chen jin]
::evan::[or-ci]
::zhanyu::[stop drooling liao la]
::huiqi::::kelvin n wee long::[oi rubdium stop dreaming a jolene cai liao la]
::magic gang::[dere is no ultimate deck]
::J & J(Sam fan club)::[Sam rawks, WOO!]
::rest of my meis::[wat r kors for]
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24hra}€:hope i didnt miss out anyone...even if i did...i juz wan u all to no tt...u had contributed into my life one way or another...i will b moving on from here...so catch u ppl around...i no dis dedications all veri short...but juz cant find wat to say...den even if got a lot to say oso cannot...coz got limit wat...haha...take care ppl...anyone can contact mi if got prob...thru msn, email, hp, od...watever la...24hra}€ always here...haha...
msg of the day:we might b miles away,but memories will always stay...

class gathering

today take leave to go class outing...haha...i go raffles place n tot it was marina bay...so i alighted...den i waited from 2.40-3.00...stupid rite...den i realiese i was at the wrong place...sianz...den go meet dem lor...luckily onli late abit...coz meet at 3 wat...den go fly kite la...veri funz...haha...the funi moment was when everyone go eat steamboat liao...mi yok wenqin n andy decided to giv the kite one last try...i toss the kite into the air...den wenqin control wit the string in front...den i flew up...yeah!...den wenqin pass to yok...den yok say dis time i will not let go of the string holder...den i say let out more string...den the sec i turn to look at yok...the string run out n flew wit the kite!!...haha...dam funi sia tt moment...u shld c for urself...
den go eat steamboat le...i keep cookin the soup...den i tell andy cook sum food for mi...den i keep scolding him coz my plate always empty...haha...den go play bowling wit wenqin n bernard...haha...lousy score...den go back to eat...haha...tok a lot wit the class...veri fun...goin to miss dem...den 10 of us go arcade...den i play the punching game...record is 110wt...haha...den got 3rd...but andy beat my score wit 112wt...den he 3rd lor...ppl got body MASS leh...haha...the 1st is 125wt...dam high sia...haha...anyone no wat unit huh...
den go home le...den we decided to walk to the mrt station...den we pass by a veri dark part of the park...no light at all...den everyone on hp...haha...veri scary sia...sum freaked out when junyi accidentally click his camera...haha...den after tt walk home from redhill mrt wit wenqin...haha...den tok a lot...we had been friends since pri 1...10 years liao...haha...den same class for 8 years...power sia...our friendship still staying strong n kicking...haha...i dun tink got any of the pri sch ppl hav suc gd relationship as the 2 of us lor...;)...
anyway i decided to change the song back to qing tian...since a lot of ppl say tt song not nice...actually tt song is the middle den nice...i oso agree tt the front sux...haha..:P...anyway ppl look out for my dedication for u ppl...lik copi cat hor...:P...sori la xiu...
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msg of the day:CLOSED

sianz sia...-_-"

today wake up around 11!!...so late sia...gao siao...haha...later slack around lor...den tok on the phone wit mt abit lor...den daryl call say got job giv mi...den i go meet him for job lor...juz cum back not long ago...mt leave le...gonna miss her...haha...mao too rite? haha...haiz...didnt even wish her a early birthday yet...sianz...i dun wan to write liao la...now dam pissed bcoz of sum idoit...
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msg of the day:CLOSED

my disc man!!

yesterday i go orchard den slipped n fell...coz i jump 3 steps wat...was runnin so cannot brake...den had to jump lor...den i fell on my butt...n sat on my pouch!!...n my disc man is in it...no!!...sianz...win liao lor...haiz...now wat...sway...suan le la...
today dem early finish work sia...2.30 finished le...den reach home 3.30...haha...but wan to go out nobody peh...sianz...den cum back lor...
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found it

was saved by my skin yesterday...phew...i found it!!...but i had to resort to finding it in the temporary internet files...haiz...but better den losing it for gd...ok...its late...dun say too much le...tml still got work...anyway if u dun understand wat i tokin abt...u can check out the previous entry...u will understand...cya...
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xin bu zai yan/ the email

today morning goin to work tt time...i leave early coz goin for breakfast at jp wat...but den rain...sianz...den slowly walk...den miss the 6.20 bus...win liao lor...so i tot i could take 197 to catch n take tt 198...but sad to say when reach the same route...the 198 happen to b in front...sianz...den was hoping tt the 197 can catch up so i can switch...but until je dere den catch up...den suan le...go take mrt to boon lay...
den mood not bad in the morning...joked wit the jie jies dere...haha...but den after lunch...i duno y suddenly whole person xin bu zai yan...sad sad de...duno leh...den keep doin wrong things...i thing the jie jie dere oso quite unhappy a bit it liao...i tink...den after tt i got worse...n to add to it dey shouted commands at mi...den i was lik ARGH!!...but muz ren...cannot throw my temper dere...its kind of cool tt dey didnt notice "my weather" changed liao...nvm la...working is lik tt one la...
den after tt coz work almoz finish liao...so dey started to joke again...den better le...but still not feeling gd...haiz...den later go take to my uncle in the office will dey wash up...had a long tok abt technology n abt my auntie's product n stuff...den everyone go home le...
now i still not feeling gd...but not as bad as it was juz after lunch...i was tinking lik...mayb i shldnt b here...mayb i shld juz rot at home...den tot abt if i go poly the 3months after the results cum out...mi rotting at home doin nth...den later on tot abt how gd if mao or zhu was working wit mi dere...den can tok tok...den not as sianz...den if mao was dere today he surely say...oi sam dun lik tt la...working leh...cheer up...later boss sack u den u no ar...haha...sth lik tt la...crack a joke or sth to get my attention from wat eva i was tinking abt..but i dun even no wat excatly i was tinking abt...
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24hr{S}a{E}:emergency...haha...no la...sth had made mi decided to add on...u spent time to write tt email to mi...i m so touched...10z...its such a morale booster...i was so down when u send mi dis email...but after reading it i was realli lifen up...10z realli...i will treasure wat u brought into my life...10z...wish tt u will always b happi... n i guess from now on i no where to go...
Extra 24hr{S}a{E}:S...A...M...u had realli done it dis time...u had coz the most important email in ur life to disappeared...u better hope tt a mircale occur n let the email appear in front of u again...if not u will regret for life i tell u...haiz...hopeless chap...
msg of the day:If w銬雟?/FONT> ?s鋓d wa??dr脘m , pra?/FONT> th鋞 will neVer w鋕?up fr簃 it..

where m i headin,i duno...

hm...life still lik tt lor...wake up in the morning...eat breakfast den wash up...den go work liao...den after work go home...play game or online lor...rather boring lor..veri plain i shld say...den its lik i lead a rather "numb" life lor...i tot i had recovered from everything but no...today i took 198 home...the journey was lik 1h+ lor...although in the morning i oso take 198 la but i always sleep...so nth will happen...so while i was taking the bus...it was raining outside...created a veri sad atmosphere...haiz...den isuddenly i tot of her...so i msged her...haha...
luckily she helped mi spend moz of the bus ride...but den after tt i realiesed how muc i was missing her...haiz...shi bai...suppose to b letting go yet still tinking...i was lik even recalling her looks n actions...lik psycho lik tt sia...haiz...i cant help it ok...but luckily i online n saw her...n her display was her photo...cool man...veri nice...haha...
but sad to say after today...i will back to "normal"...ya...the zombie one!...haiz...u all wun c it la...coz i dun tink u will hav the chance...but after i finish the job at the end of the month...i will still hav to handle dis issue lor...unless i get over it by den la...but its lik impossible?...i duno...life is so unpredictable...life is juz so different after i leave sec sch...now i dun get a chance to c her everyday...but it helps mi let go rite...mayb its fate ba...i duno...aiya...i always duno one la...
i still remember how i use to no a lot of things...i was full of life...i was helping ppl wit probs...giving inspirational things in my od...but now...either it depleted or i juz can no longer find tt energy liao...haiz...now i oso dun wan to tink to muc liao la...if not later cannot sleep den die sia...tml still hav to work leh...haha...cya...i will update soon la...tml?...duno(again)
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msg of the day:CLOSED

my mei

today did nth la...juz slack around...sleep a lot...rot a lot...haiz...everything is falling apart...i hav to pull myself together...i cannot continue lik tt...
after telling her tt i giv up i feel lik i hav no goal...i even feel useless...haiz...i duno how u feel...but i guess it doesnt bother u a lot...the moz is u replied my msgs...i dun tink u take more time to sit down n seriously tink abt the issue...but mayb i m wrong...n the truth is...i m always wrong...i used to b rtie all the time...in a bossy way...sumone pted it out...so i changed...but is dis better ...i duno... i duno when can i start to blive in my 6 sense again...i hope soon...
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24hr{S}a{E}:i decided to write a emergency coloumn today afterreading mt's od...dis coloumn is dedicated to mt...my mei...remember when i said u were my favouriter mei...i meant it...i still remember when i first saw u i knew tt u were the perfect mei...so i didnt waste anitime...n asked u to b my gan mei...n i told myself i will try to treat u lik my real mei...n try not to let u get hurt in any form...i didnt tell u dis ocz i tot tt it is rather embrassing...but now tt i hav failed to do so...i guess i hav to play a part in the blame...
i was veri shocked by ur entry...i tot tt u r better after things had settled...but i realises tt dere r mani under lying things tt i duno...dere will b nth i can do if u dun open urself up to mi...all i can do is to make u happi in any other way possible...i guess i couldnt even do tt now since i m tied down by my job...i m so useless...i juz cant do anithing rite...haiz...mayb i my fated dis way...but i still wan to try...so i hav put u first priority...
i duno did i tell u dis but my abit lik u...i dun tell ppl anithing...not even u or mao...i keep everything to myself...so if i get angry...the fire can b easily flared up by anithing...coz i guess i cant handle the pressure...i tink mayb u hav a similar case wit mi...i can tell a bit from daryl's issue...but fortunately it is resolved...the peacful way...
now i m sitting in front of my com typing dis entry...feeling lousy...i realli dun feel gd rite now...juz now when mother tok to mi...i didnt even reply a word...i guess she oso roughly no i m not in a gd mood...actually now if sumone get on my toes...i will explode immediately...i hadt been a gd kor...not to u...not to the rest of my meis...not to anione...i m such a failure in life...so wat if i got into a jc...does dis mean i can get cocky...NO!...firstly dere r ppl better off den mi...secondly my best friends arent dere wit mi...i had a tough time deciding...i duno wat to do wit life...i m afriad to trust my instinct...i m afraid tt i will make a wrong move in life again...
now i hav no aim wad so eva...my ambition...ha...i wun get dere if i lose my senses n instinct...my love...i cant even get her to go out wit US...haiz...wat a useless chap...if she sees dis she will start tinking "wat a realli useless chap...after all i hav told u...u r still so pessimistic...haiz..."...but the truth is i m juz lik tt...its hard to change...i m realli trying veri hard to bcum optimistic...but when sad things "trigger" of my memory i juz bcum the moz pessimistic person on earth...i realli duno wat to do wit life...now i c u lik tt i oso duno m i fit to b ur friend...b ur gor...haiz...
msg of the day:when u get stuck in pessimism, u r on a one way track n u tink onli one way...(excuse?)

job

dis few day i nv update coz i got a job...den too tired to update...anyway oso nth muc happen...i onli juz close bottle caps n stamp date of expiry...den send dem to the cold room...the pay resaonable la...$4/hr...coz working for my aunt wat...so wat u expect...rather fun la...coz the ppl dere oso joke around wit mi...not bored lor...
03-12-03
on wed i was sick...actually the week i sick la...but on tt day i take mc n go c doc lor...den slack lor...haha...den mao n mt cum my house c mi...haha...den dey go meet xiu dey all for dinner...
for the time being...i will close the coloumns below since i wun hav time to tend to dem...dey will b back soon...so stay updated...
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