Bday/days to cum

suppose to write sth on my birthday one la...i mean its a new chapter for my life again...shld do sum reflections wat...haha...erm...alrite la...tt nite was actually lookin forward to midnite la...but den around 11+ got pissed off a bit by sth... didnt tell anyone la...ok la got tell her la...den she cheer mi up a bit...den felt a bit better...den when midnite liao the bday wishes started to pour in liao...ok la...dun hav tt muc la...haha...:P den had conference wit the guys again...tokin abt dance again la...usual topic wat...haha...

den the next day went to celebrate my bday at marina lor...i hav more bday wishes on the day itself...i guess not everyone was awake at tt time ba...haha...so yesterday go kite flyin lor...but i nv fly any kite la...haha... dere was daryl jun xiang wen hui rachael zhenyu n chee hao(ex-classmate)...den later on we went for steamboat where kai wei zhongyi zhi yan n mao rong joined us...meet mt as well...she was wit her og ppl...den after tt mi kai wei daryl zhongyi n zhenyu went to the lao di fang to tok cok...mao rong n zhi yan had to leave first...wat a pity...tt was the rough idea how i passed my bday lor...but i muz say its sth diff from past years lor...

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24hrRu!
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so now i 18 le...for the days to cum mayb i hav to take a diff approach to things ba...i mean...seriously dere r certain things in life tt i m not satisfied wit...things lik my sch work...too slack liao la...lik today la...did nth but slp...ok la got wake up go central pass kai wei his wallet n qi hui her prez...so basically dis is the 6th h tt i m awake la...coz i took a 4h nap...den i oso not veri happi wit how i control myself nowadays...i duno y la...veri ezly irritated...sth is seriously wrong wit mi lor...last time i tell ppl i veri kong bu when angry...but ask dem no need scared...coz mostly likly went get angry in the first place...but now i dun dare to giv any promises liao lor...

ya lor...so i realli hav to put more attention on myself den on other stuff liao...i no its abit selfish la...but bo bian lor...its oso sort of for the benefit of ppl around mi wat...haiz...

msg of the day:sumtimes in life we hav to stand firm n take control...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

tt day

hmm...izzit a gd thing? dis year i forgot abt tt special day...does it mean tt i hav gotten over her...but how den can i explain abt wat happen on thur...haiz...veri confused...duno wat is the answer to my qn...mayb its lik wat zhenyu calls it...he calls it duan le si nian...meanin tt i tink i hav gotten over n forgotten abt her...but sth coz mi to remember abt things...den emotions start to pour out again...haiz...is dis wat it is...i tink i wun b gettin my answer anytime soon ba...

sumtimes i was tinkin if onli i cld turn back time...change sth den mayb life now wld not b lik tt...dere r mani things in life tt i wish to change but reality forbids it...everytime when it cums to dis period of the year i m extremely moody... especially since tt day...n nth has been able to change it...the reason other den the fact tt tt day is in dis period of the year...but oso bcoz of one other thing...but i dun wish to reveal it so publicly...i tink so far onli told zhenyu b4...but ppl...dun bother to go n ask him la...coz i asked him not to say...if u realli wan to no den cum tok to mi...i will c how...

yesterday nite...mi daryl zhenyu mt mao rong n zhi yan went to west coast park after dinner to chit chat...we tok abt each others bad pts...n as i expected i was the one tt dey had most to tok abt...is dis bad or gd...from wat i tink it realli depends on wich perspective u wan to take...gd coz dey care for mi n had been updatin demselves wit my life...bad coz i hav not been changin for the better...

to mi i take a more neutral stand...den to choose either of the both...coz i blive dere is an element of both...but seriously for most of the bad pts dey mentioned...actually i hav an explaination for it one...but i guess i might juz b tryin to cheat myself tt i m not as bad as dey say...zhi wo an wei in chi...haiz...sumtimes i juz cant b bothered to clear things up for my mistakes...but i m always rushin to clear mistakes for others...lik wat zhenyu says...i care abt others too muc for my benefit...coz i tend to neglect myself...sum may tink tt its bad for myself...but to mi i tink its alrite la...n i hav a reason for sayin tt...but i hav to admit its not a veri gd reason...coz its a veri pessimistic way of tinkin...
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24hrRu!
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recently den i realise how big a impact certain things in life had place on my life...n to mi i feel tt its coz of dis things tt i m leadin a life lik now...though not all the impacts r negative...coz dere r still positive ones... one eg of a negative one is the accident in sec 1...i guess bcoz of tt incident...sumtimes i tink lightly of myself n even my life...mayb tt is the coz of y i always neglect myself...but dis incident oso had a positive impact...coz it made mi grow up n tink more maturely...i duno y...but it juz had tt kind of impact...one eg of a positive one is choosin to join dance over sjab when i was in sec 1...coz i hav realli learned a lot of things from mr low mdm see n my fellow dancers as well...its bcoz i join dance tt i got to b more independent n all...one neutral eg is in sec 3 when i got my feelins cheated by a gal...it coz mi to hate her...n oso coz mi hate ppl tt lie to mi...although i myself do lie...but i juz cant stand being lied to...veri unreasonable rite...i no...mayb i shld regard dis as a negative impact instead...

msg of the day:if onli i cld turn back time...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

caught in the middle

recently feel veri stressed up...seriously veri...haiz...had been rather rude when tokin to my mum...haiz...feel so bad...but she oso veri sway la...everytime she call mi is when i dun feel lik tokin tt time...dis few days realli veri sianz...dun feel lik doin anything...i feel tt its such a drag tt i still hav to go to jj for lessons...haiz...sianz...

i duno wats worse la...u all tell mi la...havin ur father not happi wit u but onli no how to put pressure on ur mum...n ur mum being veri understandin...but being caught in the middle...veri poor thing rite...haiz...i seriously wished tt i cld do sth abt it...haiz...

or do u all tink tt to hav the gal tt u luv so muc to b irritated by ur style of doin things n gettin frustrated...it hurts so muc...haiz...juz when i tot tt i was gettin over her...i get dis feelin...feelin hurt...haiz...sianz...

so u all tell mi la...i realli duno...i tink tt its too muc for mi to take in a day...haiz...
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24hrRu!
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i duno how muc longer i can take dis lor...i haven being feelin lik myself for a while... i dun lik dis way of livin life lor...i feel tt i m so fake...everyday go out wit a mask on my face... i wan to get over the days of actin oredi...i realli do...haiz...i tink i reachin my limit liao...i scare tt i might no longer b able to control myself n explode...haiz...i realli dun wan to explode one...i dun wan to hurt anyone in the process...

i feel so...i feel so...depressed rite now...i wan to release it out...let it out...but i juz cant seem to b able to do it...WATS WRONG WIT MI...ARGH!! can anyone help mi a not plz...i tink realli cant take it anymore...plz help mi...........................

msg of the day:y was i rescued??


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

wats missin?

sori for not updatin for so long...had been quite bz recently...tryin to pick up the pace wit my studies...sianz...veri tirin...haiz...

recently i haven been myself...duno y...veri ez angry n moody...veri sianz...go where oso anyhow raise my voice to other ppl...haiz...wats wrong wit mi...i duno...but i tink mayb its coz sth is missin from my life...den bcum lik tt...feel so empty...feel sth missin leh...duno wat...haiz... sianz...

today went to the temple to ask pek gong 2 qns...one abt my studies n one abt nan hua... n surprisinly in one of the answer to the qn...pek gong say tt dis year i hav tao hua yun...i was lik tinkin...hmm...realli ma...haha...but hu noes...haha...:P
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24hrRu!
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nth muc to write now actually...actually dis week i got a lot of thing to write...but den coz bz nv write...den when free liao den dun feel lik writin liao...veri weird one sia...haha...i tink mayb next time i muz write it down sumwhere when i feel lik writin sth...den transfer it to my blog for the benefit of u ppl...haha...say until lik i sum superstar where a lot of ppl wan to no wat happens to mi one...lol... :P


msg of the day: a wound to the physical body will heal over time, but not a wound to the heart...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

lookin back

today was rather a slackin day again...haiz...wasted time again...muz realli b on task if i wan to get my dream results for my A lvl...lookin back on all the things i hav done for the past 17 years of my life...lik nth constructin leh...haiz...wat a failure...

sumtimes when u try to hard to try to achieve it...u end up breakin it...wich is worse...haiz...dis is wat happens to mi...i hav been tinkin if wat i did yesterday was rite or wrong... did i make it or break it... sum ppl might tell mi tt dere is no rite or wrong to it... juz differs from perspective to persceptive...

i hav always been askin myself wat exactly is the purpose of my life...i was saved from death...doesnt dis juz show tt i had not fufil tt purpose...tts y it juz cant end here... searchin for a purpose of livin in dis world is such a pain... every min every sec as i breathe... i suffer...sufferin from probs tt i giv myself...suffer from the emptiness in my heart...

mayb tts the purpose of my life...hu noes...my search has to go on rite...but life is juz full of obstacles...preventin u from gettin to ur goal...

all dis tok abt sad things...i muz still say tt dere is still happi things abt life tt i can look back on...happiness tt shin-13 mt dance n her brought mi...hmm...tokin abt her...hmm...i guess i hav been tryin hard to forget her...although i dare not say tt i hav totally forgotten her...but at least i had tried....remember abt wat i wrote in the previous entry abt the 3 ppl tt we will meet in life...i guess she is tt person tt i luv de most but doesnt luv mi one lor...tinkin abt her brings gd memories...but hurtin ones too...haiz...nowadays i tink tt things r gettin blander n blander...tinkin abt it juz make my heart ache...haiz...y muz things end up lik dis...
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24hrRu!
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hey +^.^+...u lik tt let mi continue guessin is no diff from torturin mi leh...veri tirin one leh...juz tell mi la...plz? :P

msg of the day: if onli memories cld b made into a movie...den i cld view it again n again...for enternity


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

haiz...duno wat else to do...

wed n today when to nan hua...wao lao...realli vomit blood liao ar...

wed i scolded the zu ling ppl...ok la...not veri fierce la... sum were even dozin of...

den fri scolded the modern ppl...wa...dis time realli stun liao...i duno wat to say la...dey prac movin the props...so i asked 2 ppl to take deir props go hide...den c if dey wld notice...but none noticed...onli 1 c dem...but i told tt person to pretend she didnt c anything...wa...den ask dem wat dey learn from dis lesson...no wan to say lor...lik wth is wrong wit u ppl la...to tink tt i hav higher hopes for modern...losin faith lor...in fact i was long ago...ever since duno wich junoir tinks tt i act big n act popular...den onli ah toot replied...but onli got 1/4 of the answer onli...den after tt showed sum temper by throwin my watch on the floor...den ask wei hong explained to dem...den ask again...still no answer...hello...giv u answer liao still dun wan to answer...wa...i giv up ar...den kneeled down...still no answer...i realli at my wits end liao...

ha...wats passion...gd qn rite...i started wit a lot of passion...but onli until recently a lot of prob coz my passion to go missin...i realli dun understand...wat does it take to wake all dis princes n princesses up man...realli disappointed lor...dis is suppose to b a team spirit thing lor...but i dun c the team spirit...sec 4 ppl worked so hard...tryin to make things go rite...but deir power alone isnt enuff...the rest hav to help pushin...i realli wan to thnk all dose hu realli put in effort to try to strive for the goal of goin to esplanade...i can c tt not all the juniors r not puttin in effort la...so keep up the gd work...but try to influence ur friends...

together as a team work towards ur goal...work hard...jia you...all the grads will b supportin u all...go NHDS...

anyway msg to dose juniors tt r unhappi wit mi hu happen to cum across dis entry...u might hate mi now...but i hope tt my sacrifice of being the bad guy dis time round(normally the gd guy)is worth it...prove mi wrong...show mi tt u ppl r capable of settin history...refuel my passion...let ur success let it burn...
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24hrRu!
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hey +^.^+...dun hide le la...how cum tell mi liao will stress n unhappi one leh...not as if i terrorize u or sth...its not as if u r o.O...juz tell mi hu r u la...email mi if u shy la...anything la...i dun mind one...coz i juz dun lik guessin lik tt...not fun one...

anyway today i was chattin wit mt while mi her kai wei zhenyu n zhi yan were at west coast park after dinner...we were tokin able relationship stuff...coz i was sort of advisin her regardin it la...dis was the short philosophy tt we tok abt...

in ur whole life time...
u will meet boy/gal tt u luv the most,but dun luv u
u will oso meet boy/gal tt luv u the most,but u dun luv him/her
finally u will meet the boy/gal tt can get along most wit u,n will b spendin the rest of ur life wit u...

to mi its realli meaninful...for mi i tink i hav found the first person liao...haiz...its so sad...sumtimes i wished she cld oso b the 3rd person at the same time...i wonder if the 2nd person has entered my life a not...

as for mt...i duno la...but personally...i tink the first 2 appear liao...as for the last one...hmm...hu noes mayb cld b the first person...hor mt...u shld no hu i referin to... haha...:P

msg of the day:


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

useless

sumtimes i feel tt i m so useless...friends in need of help i cant even at least do the least...feel so sad...being such a lousy friend...i realli wanted to b dere for u...but i cldnt...i realli wanted to show u tt i care...but i cldnt...i onli wanted to console n make u feel better...but i failed...so wat kind of friend m i man...so useless...let alone a kor to sumone...haiz...its so sad...

she kana bully...i not dere...den one of the last to no...by the time too late...she feelin low i oso not dere...by the time i came it was another chapter...even when she happi oso cldnt share her joy...haiz...is life juz lik tt...or is dere more to it...

mayb i m not as gd as i tink...in fact i m sure i m not as gd as i tink i m...i m such a disappointment...sad case la...suan le...say so muc oso wun change things...haiz...

i tink i say so muc mayb tt person might no hu she is...i m writin all dis down not to hope tt anything will change juz bcoz i made dis post...juz wanted to say sori...
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24hrRu!
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duno y today...totally wored out...veri tired...den oso veri moody...duno y...haiz...life is juz lik tt...tml wed again...although i lookin forward to goin to dance n visit mr low n all the ginas...but tml got econs test n pe...sianz sia...veri tired liao...i hope tml econs test not a killer...n pe wun b too heavy...

msg of the day:useful->less uses->not useful->useless( path of life)


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...