duno wats wrong

k la...today is lik worse den yesterday...in fact today i feel the worse out of all the days in the holiday...dun ask mi y....i duno...juz dun feel rite...haiz...

sumtimes i realli feel tt i m livin in my own world...as if ppl beside mi r all invisble...if i was lik dose ppl hu lik being alone den i wld b alrite on my own la...but den i not leh...i need others one...cant stand being alone...but the irony wit all dis is i dun let anyone n everyone into my world one...onli sum ppl can access lik tt...haiz...lik wat do i wan la...so pissed wit myself...

now i m lik not in the rite state of mind to do anything la...i didnt feel lik eatin...but still hav to force food down my throat...dis is lik so sad la...den watch tv oso sianz...use com oso sianz...nth seems rite...feel lik goin for a walk...but den cant...my mother will ask dis ask tt...wich will lik spark off my temper...den oso if i go walk walk...i will juz anyhow tink again lor...den in the end i will feel worse la...

i duno wat to do to pls myself...nth seems rite...but wat makes things worse is all dis is always tempo...come n go...den its lik veri irritatin la...

now i wan to pls my emotional needs but den how...sumtimes i realli feel tt kids r so xing fu...when dey sad dey juz need to cry n after tt dey will feel all better...if onli things hav always stayed so simple...i wld b so contented to b juz one more day of a kid...but it will nv come true...
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24hrRu!
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i hav always been tired...i can nv get enuff rest...but i m so used to it tt as long as i dun stop tinkin actively abt sumthing i will not feel tired...

but today i realli feel tt things r catchin up to mi la...now i realli feel veri veri veri tired...both physically n mentally...normally i wun feel physically tired one...even w/o slp...but den now no lor...i tink its coz i m so mentally stressed out tt my mind is lik sendin signal to the whole body to close down so tt i cant do anything...so tt it can get sum proper rest...

i always say tt i veri stressed...i mean i realli m sia...but i m stressed over so things tt i dun realli duno wat i m stressin abt...i used to say tt i will burn out myself sooner or later...i tink tt time has come...

msg of the day:take my mind n soul to a paradise...

lonely nitez

well...recently veri bored la...durin the holiday everyday study study...so sianz...den after tt...everyday slack...haiz...life is lik so aimless sia...boo...

juz now actually wan to watch 9 5 zhi jun one...but my father watchin...worse part is...he was slpin la...XP so cant watch lor...sianz...left 4 epi onli...well i hav to say tt basically the parts abt the show tt i cld learn things from is more or less over le...since the epi left is all abt da xia n his 2 zha bo...romance la basically...but i still hooked...i will elaborate dis in the next section...

prelims in another abt 76 days...haiz...duno y leh...lik still not in the studyin mood...i muz realli find tt studious side of mi sia...if not A lvl sure die one...until now onli get back chem mcq paper...26/40...not bad la...but a lot is by luck one...realli...not kiddin...so no big deal realli...but from the looks of things...chem still got hope la...as for the others...i dare not tink yet...lets juz wait for the results...

the other day i was chattin wit a friend...in the conversation i keep sayin lik humans dis humans tt...its as if i m not human lik tt...wat i m tryin to say is...sumtimes i tink too muc la...realli...tts wat i tink la...but den hor...if i dun tink den not mi le...but thing is...humans in the world now compared to ppl in the past realli got a lot of things to comment abt...cant help it...

but i was tinkin if everyone cld lik slow down deir paces n tink abt wat has been happenin mayb more correct things cld b done...n less wrong things wld b commited...but den again...i tink dis is wat ppl call a ideal but impossible scenerio...n oso if everyone so reflective...den ppl lik mi wld hav nth to tok abt le...n my blog wld b so empty...haha...

ok la...lame....actually after writin so muc i tink i hav juz produced 2 para of crap...haha...duno la...now brain lik veri clogged up...sumone clear it up plz...
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24hrRu!
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ok la recently i hav nth to do at nite la...ok la not nth to do la...coz i cld use the time to study wat...so basically i hav a lot of time to sit down n tink abt all sorts of nonsense...my mine juz run wild wit crazy things related wit wat i was lookin at or doin...eg tv...

so i hav tot thru a lot of things...well mostly nonsense...worse thing is i cant seem to recall wat i was tinkin abt...except for one thing...basically i hav been watchin 9 5 zhi jun dis few nites...so its lik the romance is lik touchin mi la...(c the link from juz now)ya i no...not mani guys can feel such stuff...but the fact is i do...so i sum way u can say tt i dun lik romance...coz dey juz make mi anyhow tink...wich might juz make mi mix up virtual n reality...sumtimes i m so confused tt i duno wats real wats not...lik now...my judgements r lik so clouded...

haiz...feel so lonely...y muz society b so harsh..y muz pace of life b so fast...so mani y's...haiz...where r u...

msg of the day:virtual n reality is onli divided by a fine line...

mi?

Congratulations Sam, you are...

Mr Miyagi of myveryownglob.blogspot.com

You are witty, and you know people from places. Those two qualities and others make you a very popular person among your peers, because they want to hear you dish out filthy backstage gossips. You also have a knack for inventing new words to suit yourself. You are a very loyal friend, and would jump into the ocean if your friend asked you to. And that's probably gonna happen if your friend gets too jealous of you getting all the girls/guys.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

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24hrRu!
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well...wat do u tink of tt mini personality test...well i shant comment first...lets c the response...

anyway juz sth abt juz 1-2 weeks...well hav been veri slack...cant realli sit down n do serious work...wats wrong wit mi...haiz...i realli realli muz find excuses to juz get out of the house n study real hard...haiz...anyone interested??

msg of the day:tinkin of sumone is hard...missin sumone is pain...

brothers/life

well...i hav been away for almost a week...at pre u sem...doin first aid duty...n i got 2 conclusions...the first one is ppl nowadays r so weak...a while den sick le...veri lousy...but sadly i myself oso got a bit sick...but lucky onli for lik a few h...coz i took gd care of myself...:P the second thing is tt sum teachers r so not mature la...i dun wan to elaborate more...save some face for the rest of the teachers tt r not involved...so ya la...

while i was away...i guess quite a lot of things happened tt might require my attention...well so sori cldnt b ard...i duno wat more to say la...but den mani things happened in dis short 5 days...at the sem itself n oso back here...i had learned a lot of things at the sem la...abt life tt is...i m exposed to more kinds of personality...learned to c things from new perspective...mani mani more...but at the same time i was reminded of my weakness...haiz...keep forgettin...muz change...

recently help so mani ppl wit deir probs...analysed so mani things...tink of solutions to probs...wa...my brain realli exhausted by all dis le...now tink abt things...abt clouded liao...cant realli tink properly...the things tt i say is always the same...den the solutions i tink is lik not veri effective one...duno la...muz do sum refreshin liao...
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24hrRu!
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well...i read zhenyu lastest blog entry liao...well i totally agree wit him man...well its true...we all realli hav gone thru mani shit...tinkin back givs a lot of memories...dis is the 6th year since we knew each other...we hav realli gone thru a lot of thick n thin sia...i realli feel veri strongly for dis ppl...i m sure i speak for the rest...come to tink of it...its realli a miracle...for mi at least...its veri personal...but well i guess i nv mention dis b4 in detail...but i guess i might b better in expressin how i feel now...

if u all got read the shin entry...den mayb u all well c sum familar contents...well lik i said b4...i last time veri little friends... all onli ok ok friend... dun hav ppl lik dem hu can share my probs...so i always try to attract attention lor... den it was rather the same situation in sec sch lor...den i manage to make sum gd friends in dance...zhi yan mao rong daryl...den we formed rohan...den after tt i become the chairman...sum of the shin ppl started to dun lik mi...sumtimes bcoz of my decisions... n other stuff oso...things was the worse betw mi n kw...coz he oso exco wat...den the way he do things is totally diff from my style one lor...so had a lot of clashes...

but the most amazin thing is tt after we grad we all bcome veri gd friends...its realli hard to blive we were once loggerheads...i guess we all got matured...i valued the brotherhood we hav in each other...i mean lik shin has even gone thru being enemies...den wat more did we not go thru sia...our brotherhood is wat i realli call pure...its realli sth not everyone gets to exp...sum may say army u may get to make such friends...but pls stop to tink for a while...how old r army ppl...18-21 lik tt leh...means tt deir tinkin is muc more reserved den dey wld b when dey r students...so i dun tink dis kind of brotherhood wld b 100% pure...n trust mi i hav real life eg to prove tt...but i wun say it here...

i guess the bond is so strong tt i dun tink anything can break it lor...even if u heat us under reflux(chem)...lol...lame...:P but realli lor...i dun anything can break us a part...our brotherhood is here to start...although it is true tt sum of us hav a bit of unhappiness wit each other...but den we wld still regard each other as brothers...coz we no tt one day we will realise how childish we r...n by den our bond wld hav grown even stronger...realli...

i duno abt the rest of dem...n i dun dare to say dis for dem...but i guess if faced wit a life threatenin situation...eg car comin or bullet...i wld block it for dem(i will block it too if dey were my luv ones eg family,gf,mei,blah blah blah)...sum of u might tink i m onli sayin bull shit...but blive it or not i will...i no dis is veri extreme...but hey...dis r the ppl tt saved my life tt we r tokin abt...not sum tom dick or harry lor(no offense harry)...i guess my bond to dem is the most special one...serious...coz mine bears the contract of death...

so i realli value everyone of dem...no matter where dey r now...realli...n i m sure i speak the same for the rest of dem...tts y zhenyu dun lik ppl anyhow say brother...mi neither...juz tink back...r u sure u all deserve to call each other brothers...how muc hav u all been thru...so pls dun abuse the word...but den i realli hope dose ppl hu r abusin the word now...can change tt...not stop callin brother...but realli treat the person as a brother...not say say onli...giv it a tot...

"From the day we locked our hands together to protect what we believe in, till the end of the world. We shall be known as brothers.From the day we charge in the same direction towards our goal, till it is achieve. We shall be known as brothers. But, for we are 13 special individuals, we shall not only be known as only brothers, instead we shall rock on as SHIN-13."
by [Shin-13]Sam