29 November 2006

EQ test

Your EQ is 147

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!

51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.

71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.

91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.

111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.


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24hr信徒
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duno accurate a not...u guys try it out ba...haha...

msg of the day:

23 November 2006

不知如何说出口

juz came back from chingay prac...omg...all the pracs r on weekdays...die la...suan le la...bo bian...

actually i wanted to blog a long entry one...but i dun tink i wan to stay up too late la...tml still hav duty...sianz...so hav to b short lor...

summore duno how to pen my tots either...alot has been goin thru my mind...

but anyways...i will b more bz den usual...bcoz of all the involvements...so ya...well...i will still blog if i find the need...but mayb lesser la(as if i blog a lot)...

lastly...to ppl hu i haven realli been in contact wit for a while...hey...u r still remembered...so dun worri...altho all of us has our own commitments...but still if we make effort...we still can still keep in touch...i no i m a veri bad eg...but i will try to jia you...u too...=)
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24hr信徒
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i can feel wind blowin...ah...wat a relaxin feelin...dis is the life...i can almost feel myself floatin...flyin even...slowly i feel my feets being carried by the wind...i m realli floatin...flyin...i feel lik a bird...soon i will join dem...i can c everything from here...everyone is enjoyin demselves...i m so happi...i can almost understand how a sun will feel...all sunny wich is gd n happi...

whats dis...a dark cloud...no not 1...i m surrounded...thunder...lightin...its goin to rain...everyone is no longer enjoyin...dey r runnin...the frowns created by deir brows copied from the upsetted smiley...wa...i m fallin...wit the rain...i feel shitty...not onli m i all wet...i m fallin...m i goin to die...will i juz hit the grd n splat...omg...dis isnt how it started out...dis is not rite...

msg of the day:happiness may slip by u if u dun cherish it, dun take it for granted...

19 November 2006

sori to make u all worri

ok i guess i m more or less back to normal...tho i didnt realli tell u guys wat realli happened...but well i guess it isnt impt anymore...since i m alrite le...at least i hope to keep it tt way...haha...but dun worri la...i wun giv in so ezily...i mean lik wats life not puttin up a fight...

anyway juz came back watchin conevant wit mt n mao...the movie together with the bk "burnt journal" tt i m readin at the moment...lead mi to tink abt wat happen the other day...

anyway juz a brief intro abt the movie n the bk n the link of the both to my tots...

for conevant...dere r sum guys wit "witch" blood n can cast spells n stuff...but the catch to it is tt dey exhaust deir own life span doin so...if u c it my way...its lik fast forwardin ur life...its lik in the movie dey can inject real powerful punches tt creates shockwaves...if u look at it in terms of the fast forward theory...its lik doin strong punches mani mani times till u get tt effect...the onli diff is tt u did it in a spilt sec...wich is where the fast forward comes in...

for burnt journal...its abt a kid how tried to commit suicide by burnin himself...but he survived n the bk toks abt his path to recovery...

coz in the movie the main guy called caleb tries to protect his loves one from the evil guy...by usin his powers to fight it out wit him...but at the same time he is exhaustin his life span doin so...its lik sacrificin his life to save others...tho in the movie the "damage" is not visible...but if u tink abt it...its quite a selfless act...but i guess most ppl wld b willing to do it if dey were put in tt situation...but the reality wakes us to the fact tt we cant do tt...but still altho we cant realli b so wei da n save ppl by shortin our life span...but we can still help others when dey need it...i mean dere r mani ways to la...depends on the need of the person in need of help...

n for the bk...its lik the boy reflects later tt wat he decided to kill himself for is not such a big deal afterall...n tink feels stupid n all...n kinda regretted his actions...we dun need to burn ourselves to regret wat we had or had not done in life...we juz need to help ourselves more...tink abt wat is our prob...n if can solve it with the help of other ppl...

so its lik we shld help others n oso not forgettin ourselves in the process...i guess dis is called balance...sum ppl help others too muc while others help others too little...juz hav to figure wich u lack n juz do the other more...life can b more meaningful n hav less regrets if we do sth abt it...

today...now...altho i feel stupid tt i submitted to the evils tt lived within mi...but i didnt regret writing the previous entry...altho i feel bad to make everyone worri...esp hope...but at least i m reminded y i was here to start wit...the things tt i blived in...n oso the things i wan to blive in...

for now i need to help myself n take a break from helpin others...bad guy gd guy...hu cares...as long as i m doin the rite thing...i can kill a guy n b bad in the lights of law...but at least the guy i killed was a murder wich made wat i did at least rite in the eyes of the victims family...

life is wasnt smooth sailin...it has been a bumpy ride till now...but i muz continue to blive...continue to si le dou yao ai...
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24hr信徒
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changes...i guess tt was the evil dis time rd...all shld no tt i m a constant lover...i dun lik changes...i can get pretty fed up if u tell mi last min tt the meetin is cancelled...altho over the years of livin n workin wit other ppl...i hav started to b more flexible towards changes...but i still cant accept it whole...

human relationships is my strength n my weakness at the same time...combo-ed wit changes...i guess it can realli wooble my knees...there r things in life tt i nv wan to hav live with...but bcoz of certain changes...i face the danger of gettin struckdown...

as muc as i fear wat might happen...one day it might still happen...altho realli realli realli hope tt it doesnt...i still hav to face it anyway...i mean wat else can i do...run away?lik the boy did in the bk...i will end up in the same spot...but diff as i will regret runnin in the first place...

i no its goin to b hard...when was facin ur fears n probs ez...if dey were...den dey wun even exist...i hope can get thru dis stayin true...n oso to dose hu is facin evil now...all the best n blive in urself...

msg of the day:永远的信徒,死了都要爱。

14 November 2006

I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!

i realli cant stand it anymore...

i m rippin myself apart...

i m tired of runnin away...

i m tired of always been the nice guy...

everything juz sux...

nth is rite...

or mayb everything is rite...

but i m wrong...

i m always wrong...

i m always the bad guy...

resolution...angels...my foot...

everything is juz fucking screwed up...

i duno wat to do...

sumone teach mi...

scold mi...slap mi...

i hate myself...

i shld stop deceivin myself...

dis IS reality...
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24hr信徒
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i m tired of apologizin...i m tired of lookin on the bright side...m i realli always the wrong one...y do everyone hav to force mi to it... Y!!!

i realli feel terrible now...realli...n dere is lik no apparent reason for it...everything is juz fuckin screwed up...isnt dere sth left in dis world tt i can blive in...i cant even blive myself...hah...

hu can i blame?myself?but deres noone else...sumtimes i realli hope dere was realli sumone to juz push the blame to...but no...i cant do tt...coz...coz...its not rite?ah...fuck it...

everything is collaspin...cave in...i m suffocatin... isnt dere sumone out dere hu understands mi...not even a little?

hope-if u r readin dis...please please please...dun go tinkin tt wat is happenin betw us led mi to writin dis...its juz tt...its juz tt...certain things i cant bring my heart to tok abt it to u...but realli tink tt shldnt...n now is not exactly the rite time...it realli isnt ur fault...i realli hope u understand...to a certain extent i no dis entry will hav certain impact on u...but i hav no choice...i hav already delayed n delayed...i cant bottle up anymore...i need to shout it out...sori...

once i empty things...i will b back to normal...

msg of the day:i hav realli fallen deep...r u goin to reel mi in?

02 November 2006

where to look...

dis entry was inspired by sumone when we she was tellin mi abt her dialema of whether to wear her contacts a not...the agruement being tt if she wears her contact she tend to look at things further as she normally do without her contacts...n thus she wld tend to "neglect" the things next to her...but if she was not to wear her contacts...she wld b afraid of missin out things tt might b out of her vision...

well basically dis simple eg speaks for the general population...we nv no where to look at(dun xiang y y)...sum ppl tend to look far...while others prefer to look next to dem...if where we look was to b compared to datin...den ppl hu looks far wld b dose hu throw deir nets out n try to fish for the best...while the ones tt looks next to dem simply becomes grateful for the ones hu standby dem...its lik the sayin...dun bcoz of 1 tree n let down the whole forest...the first kind wld b the forest kind of ppl...while the latter will b the 1 tree kind...

in terms of survival in watever sense...b it work or studies...ppl hu looks far tend to plan ahead n do more consistant work...while dose hu looks near wld tend to do last min sprints...

in the 2 comparisons...for both kinds i wld say tt i m the look near kind...but if u asked wat wld b my ideal kind of where to look... i wld look near when datin n look far when survivin...but dis can b diff for diff ppl...its all abt perception...dere is no rite or wrong...dere r pros n cons for all the choices we make in life...mayb dey r less acceptable as the majority of the ppl feel tt ur choice is diff from deirs...
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24hr信徒
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standin at the sides of field watchin the match...as the crowd cheers the home team on...juz when the home team is abt to score...the a foul was given to the home team...the away team is given a chance to take a free kick...coach decided to sum mi in...

i hesitated n stared into the air tinkin tt mayb coach wasnt tokin to mi...but reality set in when he snapped his fingers in front of mi...i m up...its my turn...its my go at the goal...as in dragged myself into the field tinkin whether dis is a gd idea...the home team captain exchanged looks wit mi...he was determined to win...he is not goin to back down...

at tt pt i knew tt if i was juz goin to take it ez...deres no way i can win...my team is bhind by 1 goal...n dis is the decidin match...we had to win...if not its over for us...we might hav to b disbanded...the team may hav to end...as all dis tots raced thru my mind...i tot my position n await for my teammate takin the free kick to get it started...the wait seemed to b lik years...i still duno whether i m up to it...i still hav no confidence in the match...i looked ard...

n i saw coach...he rubbed his temples n started to what seemed lik a prayer...i cldnt bare to look...i no coach was worried...he cldnt bare the fact tt his team was abt to b disbanded in another few mins...dis was the onli chance for us to drag dis into over time...

juz when i was abt to turn back to focus my tots on the ball...the shiny golden cup on the grandstand caught my eye...the trainings tt my teammates n i went thru flashed thru my mind...the injuries...the jokes...the tears...we had been thru it all...n we r now here...all for one reason...

i clenched my fist n shouted "guys!lets win dis"

"Yeah!"the teams voice echoed in the stadium as if drownin the forever deafenin crowd cheers...

tt morale boost worked lik a war cry...my goal was certain...n was more determined den when i entered the field...

n we r off again as the free kick was taken n the ball flys thru the air...

"Shin!run far!i got it..."shouted Destiny...

destiny lobed the ball across the field...n i was able to catch the ball at my feet...but to find myself being marked down...i cldnt budge...

"Shin!over here...pass it to mi..."it was fate...

fate received the ball n zipped thru the field lik a streak of lightnin...but was still held up by the home team captain...deres no way he can get thru him...n dose hu were markin mi went over to deir captains aid...

"shoot!Shin!dere is no time...u hav to giv it a try..."without another word...fate crossed the ball back to mi...

i no tt if we r goin into overtime...dis will b THE ball...i had to act fast...we r down to the injury time...without tinkin...i pulled my leg back to giv it my most...n as my leg drop back down i cld feel as tho my leg was combined wit the legs of all the teammates...

"beep beep"

"Shin! we did it...it went in...it went in..."shouted the team...

i was glad...at least we got into extra time...we still hav chance to turn the tide...

i turned to look at the goal post again...n saw wat seemed lik an angel...i smiled...as i knew tt my guardian angel was ard...
msg of the day: