new devil's avocate

dis is so sick lor...i realli gettin sick of dis liao lor...juz when i got started to lik my life...ya lik...last time always say life is sad n all...now i get dis...its as if devil has to keep sendin avocates to make my life miserable...i realli wan to spill the beans...but i cant...out of the little respect i hav left for tt person...but its lik veri torturin lor...n i m sure its not onli mi...sum other ppl muz b tinkin the same way too...haiz...now i m so angry...or shld i say sad tt i feel tt lik things haven changed...dis realli dampen my spirits...summore i was actually veri happi dis week...coz i m lookin for to sth tt is cumin up soon...but after dis...haiz...i juz hope tt dis doesnt spoil everthing...haiz...
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24hr!:ppl do i lack EQ...btw for ppl hu duno wat it is...it means Emotional ??? duno wat liao...:P...duno the exact word...but instead of intelligence in IQ is emotional lor...haha...:P wat u all tink...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:l靎?顂 s郿...haiz...

stress sia

wa...its almost one week since i wrote anithing...haha...miss my entries ma...:P anyway durin dis period of time things has changed for the gd...haha...so happi...didnt update u ppl coz i was caught up wit hw...actually i shld b doin hw now la...but lazy lor...so do wat i suppose to hand in tml den dun do le...after all i sick since yesterday...but i think i gettin better liao la...so dun need to wori...anywy for ppl hu cares...if i dun update means i m fine...bcoz of the work load i cannot b updatin every now n den...so onli if dere realli realli is a need to write sth...if not i will not write lor...haha...:P take care ppl...
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24hr!:"strawberry youth" or known in chi as "chao mei zhu"
lik strawberry dis grp of youths may look veri nice on the outside...but dey r actually veri soft n ezly hurt...a little too muc pressure will coz it to bleed...so sum youths in other countries r being describe as strawberry youth...so r u one?
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:u nv no how muc u can take until u try...

i m realli veri hurt!:'(

i acutally wanted to agree wit angie note in the previous entry one...until i got to no abt sumthing today...i feel tt i m so dam hurt lor...if dis could happen...wat will b next...i hav lose my faith in dis ppl...i cant even trust u ppl...hu can i trust den...r dere even friends out dere hu treats mi as a ture friend...but not sumone hu u shld pity by befriendin mi...
after dis i hav lose faith in almost everything...i feel lik juz endin my life...but i couldnt...its juz plain stupid...but now i doubt almost everything...i m afraid...i hav been cheated by sumone in the past b4...in terms of emotions...coz i hav too muc trust in tt person...now dis happens...i m so gullible...haiz...i m afraid to trust anyone now...u guys has shoke my confidence in life...i hope tt one day u ppl will cum to mi n convince mi tt it is all rumors onli...n not for real...
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24hr!:nhds...sori i cldnt b dere for u ppl...its ok to lose...i m sure u ppl tried ur best...haiz...sori i cant write muc...realli veri veri hurt...i can feel as doh my heart is cryin although i m not...the worst is i hav to put on a mask lor...at home n in sch...i hav to act as doh nth happen...when i m truthly hurt...if onli dere was a way to end my misery once n for all...haiz...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:i m realli veri hurt!:'(

i dun deserve to live

lik wat wth is wrong wit mi lor...i shldnt b complainin in the previous entry...coz the bloody shits happen bcoz of mi...yes mi...the bloody hell idoitic mi...how can i b the one to complain abt it when i m the one hu coz it...n bcoz of all dis i m losin my friends...i m cozin misery for ppl hu care...lik wth lor...
i realli dun deserve to live lor...ppl hu show concern for mi r not gettin wat dey shld b gettin in return...instead dey r in misery bcoz of MI...n all i can do abt it is say sori...y cant i juz go solve the prob instead...i oso wan the answer...mayb i hav too muc pride tt i cant bow down to anyone lik tt...i duno wat to do...no one to guide mi...haiz...i realli duno wat to do or say...
n i shldnt say anything at all lor...coz most of dis probs exist bcoz of my filthy mouth wich juz cant filter wat to say n wat not to say...wish i cld mute myself lik a radio tv or com...
i wish tt i could forever abandon dis probs...but cant...juz by goin to sch reminds mi of dem...even listenin to radio or watchin tv too lor...haiz...
i dun deserve to live...i m juz a person hu realli sucks to the core...
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24hr!: i m so troubled yet i cant find anyone to confide to...but my od...first thing i cant tell sum of the ppl coz i cant let dem no abt wat happen... second thing is tt sum of the ppl r involved...n bcoz of dis i might lose dem as my friend...third is sum ppl juz dun giv a dam to mi...the saddest thing is tt even the person i always confide to oso cannot le...bcoz of dis probs it coz dis person to live in the crossfire n pass days of misery...i used to tell tt person everything tt happens...n tt person wld help mi lor...but now i cant...coz i had hurt tt person enuff oredi...all i can do now to conpensate is to say...
I M VERI SORI MT!I REALLI M...
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:leave mi to rot

xin ru dao ge

wat is dis lor...haiz...it is bad enuff to b stab once...but twice in 2 days...wtf lor...i m gettin of sick of my bloody life oreadi...dis has got to end lor...i cant go on lik tt forever...
i realli wish i could elaborate more here...but since first i dun wan everyone to no abt it n create a fuss abt it n second not to put ppl involve in difficult positions...haiz...
dis is so hopeless...my life has been sad duno since when...i realli hate it lor...i no i m being pessimistic...but wat can i do lor...given a life lik mine...wth lor...i no dere is always a reason for watever has happened...but dis is lik too muc lor...my i fated to hav a sad n pessimistic life...my i born to suffer...izzit retribution from the previous life...if so i muz hav been a realli sinner...haiz...
day in day out i had been wishin for things to take a turn...but no...it had to remain dere...or even go further off track...i m realli startin to doubt even if it will ever turn back...haiz...
all dis is realli empty tok man...i can tok but i cannot do...i hate my life...i hate everything lor...ever since i had gone up to jc it is worse den b4 lor...i realise i had drifted apart from all my friends...ppl from nan hua or wherever...even og9 too...after the first 3 mths...things had turned sour...i dun even the last time i tok to sum of dem...dis is god dam sad lor...
i tink the onli happi thing i hav cum across recently is tt my birthday wish more or less came true...
nowadays i find myself lookin for things to occupy myself wit...wich i cant find most of the time...i feel so empty...so lonely...so hurt...so pain...so sad...
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24hr!:
wo hui fa zhe dai, rang huo bu guan ni, jie zhe ba ni ge yi bian.
xiang you na yi tian, ni hui huan xing zhi ji, zhi dao wo guan xing ni.
wo hui fa zhe dai, rang huo fang qi ni, jie zhe man man su yuan ni.
you xiang le yi bian, ni ke ai de lian,zai wo li kai zhi qian.
xing li de xue di, mo hu le shi xian, wo yi kuai can bu jian.

m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:xin ru dao ge

pia! kambatei!!

ok...finally time has cum for mi to concentrate on my studies n pia...i told myself i will hav to charge after finish the puzzle...ya lor...haiz...i no i will bcum veri nerd lor...den i will tend to pang seh u ppl la...but i hope u ppl understand la...coz afterall i chose to go dis way...the jc way...instead of goin the poly... i realli hope i can get into the course tt i wan in uni lor...n best is tt i get in a place in local uni lor...coz i dun wan to spend so muc money on lodgin overseas n stuff lik tt...
thur will b the cheer com for the nhds ppl liao...hear from daryl lik not veri steady leh...i worried leh...tml got prac...i tink i most probably goin to check it out...i dun wish u ppl to win anything la...i juz wish for u ppl to juz hav fun n bring up the atmosphere or the event...make the audience wan to cheer wit u...tts wat i call a successful cheer n a winning one...even if it does not win...to mi u guys had oredi won...had achieve the spirit of nhds...so jia you ba...i will suppost u all de...even if i not goin on thur i will still b supportin u all no matter wich part of singapore i m in...kambatei!
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24hr!: CLOSED
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;: wo diu ni de si nian jiu xiang shi jian you bu ting xi

change

dis few days i had not been online...coz i was bz wit completing the puzzle for my mother...her birthday on sun wat...so not muc time left...now i restin lor...until now completed abt 3/5-3/4 liao lor...shld b finishin by sat ba... if not sun mornin muz finish b4 i go cc lor...but shld b can de la...i tonite goin to do unitl abt 12 ba...wich means still got abt 8h from now...haha...
anyway i was readin my ogl's od...its a she btw...well...quite pessimistic ba...i realise ppl tend to b veri pessimistic wan it cums to diary...i guess dis is normal ba...after all...does things tt u cant say face to face it to b said dis way...so more or less the sad sad things all fill up ur diary...summore for most ppl...when writing deir diary dey shld b alone ba...at moz is siblings around lor...so tend to b more low ba...unless is dose hyper ppl la...nv die down one...haha...
anyways...after reading her blog i realise tt i m always not considerate of others feelins...not tt she direct it at mi...juz tt she wrote sth in general den it juz happens so tt i m sumhow lik tt...den earlier on i was readin email abt ppls character sorted into horoscope... mth of birth...n the first letter of ur name...den i realise tt i dey r quite accurate...n at the same time i realise tt my character is not tt prefect after all...i no no one perfect...but at least it does not meet my expectations...
anyway...i realise tt i get angry ezily...or agitated...anyway u wan to put it...n a way it makes mi sad after tt...n tt habit has got to go...everytime i go back dance i get angry...n start to shout n pump...haiz...sooner or later the juniors will distest my presence...summore i m veri violent lor...for no gd reason i hit ppl...i shld no tt ppl dun lik it lor...n the worse thing is dey tell mi b4 one lor...sianz...sumtimes juz feel lik banishin myself to another place...haiz...
so i hav decided to change...for 2 reasons...first wich is the moz important...for the benefit of all my friends...n the second is i wan to prove tt ppls character cannot b classified usin sum simple test or quiz...or wateva it is...so if u ppl c mi vialate any of dis things...pls remind mi...10z...
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24hr!:i hav decided to take sth from my ogl's blog...sori hor shi yan...take w/o ur permission...:P
The fundamentals of love
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her. You found yourself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter. It seemedas if a mysterious "chemistry effect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her. You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things that you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very good friend. It is often during this period that a boy and a gal will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level. After all, the kind of wonderful experience you have between each other can only become even better if it develops into a romantic relationship. In other words, the feeling is really unique -no one else seems able to replace her in your heart. So both of you agree to go steady and work even harder on the relationship. You "graduate" to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.
When You Forget The Fundamentals
However, at some point in your relationship, you forgot how it all began. You start to take your partner for granted.Why can't she laugh in a more ladylike manner? Why doesn't she dress herself more trendily? Why must she assert her views and point out your silly mistakes? Is she really the one for you? To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your "love memory". The "love memory' contains all the reasons that you fell in love with her right from Day One. It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting and loving her. Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did. Did you like her unusual fashion sense that makes her stand out from the crowd? Right-o. So why are you criticising or finding fault with her now that she is your girlfriend?Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love, like so many of us. ou have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase. Instead, once you went steady, you put your "love memory" in coldstorage. As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations about her. These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.
The Secret Of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development. You can't possibly become part of a couple if you aren't friends in the first place. Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance? Couplehood works well when there is something you like about her (and vice versa), and I'm not referring to merely the physical aspects. So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don't give up without checking on your "love memory". Discover the reasons why you fell in love with her, and watch your relationship flourish with a newfound vigour.L-Listen O-Overlook V-Voice E-EffortLove is to listen to the needs of the other party, giving without asking for returns.
Overlook the faults and find the plus point of the other party.
Voice out & say sweet things and express your happiness and words of encouragement for the other party.
Putting in Effort, keep putting in more time to find the world of love.
m?#291;  ŧħέ d?#947;:when will i live the fullest...