sway day

wa...wats wrong wit mi today sia...seriously bad day sia...mornin mr lee bomb mi wit a unreasonable demand...den afternoon once again bomb mi...lik wtf la...sianz...den nvm...den the whole afternoon try to relaxed...alrite la...but still feelin veri blue...den juz now wan i wan to start to do my work i realise its still wit deanic...lik wtf la...now i cant do it liao...tml mornin hav to go sch copi...sianz...nth went rite today...i duno wats goin to happen for the rest of the nite...i juz hope tt its nth sucky...coz i m oredi veri stressed up now...i realli duno wat to say la...y does dis hav to haven...

juz when i wan to start get workin...all the other elements seems juz to hav sum comment abt it...den always go against my will...i mean lik wats wrong wit being hard workin...does it mean i m not meant to b hardworkin...its seem tt mi being hardworkin had juz bcome the hot topic...n its lik sum sort of phenomenone lik tt...y muz ppl look at mi wit tt kind of eyes...i m so fed up...ah...haiz...i realli duno wat to say la...
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24hrRu!
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juz now my mother come n ask mi sth abt tml nite...i dun mean to b rude la...i juz tok to her lik i wan her to go away quickly...i duno y la...but its either now she is no longer sensitive to wat i tink...n haven realise tt i m havin a hard time wit all my work...seriously speakin its been a while i had a chat wit her...sum of u might say y dun i initate by takin the initiative...i duno y...i juz cant do it...

sumtimes when u need to tok...yet u cant find sumone to tok to...n when u dun feel lik tokin abt it...ppl juz keep probin...i guess dis is juz the way tt the world works...today when i come home...i inevitablely reminded myself of my lonely past...though i no longer regard myself as lonely...but sumtimes its juz bcoz of dis kind of moments...i duno y i bother...haiz...

msg of the day:when nth goes ur way...juz take a break n relax...

the reason

a while since i posted anything...well today suddenly got the urge to post sth...den started to tink of topics to write abt...got quite a lot of things tt i cld hav written abt...but juz now when i was watchin tv...one of the serial drama commercial has the reason playin in the background...well as mani of u all no...i m more of a chi song person...but the reason is one of the few recent eng tt caught my attention...well wat i wan to write actually has nth to do wit the meanin of the song though...juz tt it cld b used as a topic...

well lets juz get things started...erm...well watever tt happens in dis world bound to hav a reason...at least tt is wat i tink...erm...although mani of us say dis...but dere is always times where we juz cant seem to find the reason for it...we tend to get frustrated n irritated...n juz wan to find out the reason watever it takes...

well i too hav to go through wit all dis...sumtimes instead of lookin for the reason y not let it find u...ya...ezier said den done...but i guess dere is diff ways of gettin to it...n well sumtimes waitin is a better option...especially when findin out the reason by urself require high stakes...so y not juz sit back n wait patiently...haha...

well personally...i find the reason of life is sumthing tt is veri chim...haha...i mean lik...it wld hav mani diff reasons contributin to dis big reason...luv studies family blah blah blah...but once u find dis reason u will b charged wit of energy wich u can use to charge ahead into the future...as for mi...i hav found part of the reason to life...so i will b charging too...i hope u find ur charge too...
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24hrRu!
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now n den i hear abt ppl worryin n tinkin abt things tt dey hav done...mostly abt wat is wrong...but if u start to tink abt the smallest of things...den i tink u r gettin too paranoid abt things liao lor...sumtimes we shld juz take things more ez...lik tt life is more enjoyable...

msg of the day:let the reason shine a path into the future...

life is so unpredictable

well...i got to admit quite a lot of things happened yesterday...its lik wa...in a flash so mani things happened...i cant even realli register wat realli happened...ok la...i muz b kiddin myself...i did catch all tt happened yesterday...

i duno how i m suppose to face wit all dis changes...ok la...mayb dere isnt such a big change la...but still...aiya duno how to say...erm...mayb juz need a bit of adjustment...but it seems lik juz the first day after the change oredi i m a bit not used to it liao...but i guess i still hav to bear wit it la...no choices...

its bcoz life is so predictable tt sumtimes i m realli scared tt sth bad might juz happen to mi or sumone close...its so lik erm...a rollercoaster ride? mayb its not tt scary la...mayb i m juz being paranoided...haha...well wat ever it is...wat is done is done...no pt cryin over spill milk rite...i tink wat is more practical is to learn to live wit it n face up to the realities of life...n continue to move on...:) haha...
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24hrRu!
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hmm...i duno if u call dis puttin up a brave front or juz being plain kan de kai...well i duno leh...i hope i m juz kan de kai ba...i dun wan to disappoint myself n others when i realise i m juz puttin up a brave front n starts to get depressed again...

but i guess i wun no till it happens...seriously sumtimes i feel tt my feelins r more unpredictable den life man...a while i m the happiest person u can find...next moment i can bcum the most pessi person tt ever lived...sumtimes i find it interestin when ppl say tt onli gals hav mood swings...izzit true...from i c i dun tink so...at least not for mi la...unless i m not a true man!haha...

msg of the day:darkness left when ur lite shone


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

life is beautiful/confession?

woo...life is so beautiful when u finally can c the light...feel so happi...n mayb recharged? haha...now wit a few goals in mind i tink i will b goin full steam ahead liao...woo hoo...haha...muz jia you le...wit everyones support everything shld b no prob! haha...:P i made a promise to sumone tt i will get at least all C for my midyear...i will put in all my effort to do it one...dun wori ;)...

but seriously speakin la...dis feel days realli feel veri veri veri happi...haha...i guess i finally got relaxed...if not everyday so tensed up lik duno wat robot lik tt...i hope dis continues la...den hu noes i might juz bcum the gd old sam...no temper...nice...blah blah blah...

aiya...i tink i dun wan to say too detail...mayb for the time being la...c first...haha...later sumone will cum n laugh at mi one...haha...:P
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24hrRu!
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tt day i was tokin to sumone abt confession...hmm i guess dis is quite a gd topic i guess...erm...things to confess abt got mani la...love...bad things...mani types...

but i guess its always a better choice to confess...at least to mi la...i mean lik u nv no wat will happen after u confess rite...wat if its sth gd but u didnt confess coz u scared its sth bad...den do u call dis a waste or wat...but i always tell myself tt its always better to confess...coz if its gd den gd for u lor...but its bad den at least u no the truth...

sum ppl say dey will confess when time is rite...but wat if dere isnt another time...as in if tml nv cum...wat will happen den...for eg la...if u stole sth...but one of ur friends were accused n was caught for it...n everyone tot it was realli him as all the evidence were against him...den in the end got expel for not doin tt thing...do u tink dis is fair...i dun tink so...ur friend got expel bcoz of u...den by tt time if u decide to confess...its too late...coz even if the sch allowed ur friend to cum back...ur friend will nv forgiv u anymore...even if he did wat will the other ppl tink of u den...yes dey will still tink of u as a thief if u confess at the start...but at least not sumone hu betrays his/her friend...

but watever it is tt u decide to do wit ur confession is seriously onli up to u...so u wan to b frank n truthful y not do it today...but i giv everyone the benefit tt dere is seriously one day tt is better to do a confession den sum other...but watever it is i m juz sharin my opinion...so dun sue mi for dis...haha... hav a tink abt it...:)

msg of the day:light at the end of the tunnel has appeared...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

a new chapter in life

phew...finally mang finish syf liao...can finally concentrate on jc stuff le...cdc n A lvl here i cum...haha...er...but b4 tt i guess my work in nan hua is not quite done yet...coz still got a few things tt i need to accomplish...so cant say fully tt i no need go back nan hua...erm...but i guess less time is needed dere liao ba...

i duno y la...but den i realised tt today suddenly i hav cum to a new chapter in life...a lot of happenins in my life recently i shld say...got to no sumone better...erm...dun wan say hu la...later gossip gossip again...after tt time i dun dare liao...if not later i kana rumors again...but anyway i muz say its sth gd la...i mean i got one more person to sure my probs wit...can destress more...in fact i dun feel so stress up for almost a wk or so liao...mayb its bcoz of tt person or mayb juz bcoz syf end le ba...but still cdc comp n presentation haven finish...plus june got pre-u seminar...hav to jia you...:)

another happenin is regardin my health...but i guess no pt sayin out...but i guess i will b fine...so dun wori i guess...another one is new timetable more free...i guess i muz realli make gd use of it to study for my A lvl liao le...if not...tsk tsk tsk...kambatei...

i duno y...but i feel veri happi today...despite my sch work n cdc stuff...mayb coz syf over...mayb coz i happi wit the performance...duno la...but i mean its sth gd rite...so y bother tinkin y...juz stay happi ba...
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24hrRu!
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durin dis period...i guess i was really down...sori for any unhappiness coz to anyone of u worz...i dun mean to one...but i was realli wan to 10 everyone for deir support n encouragement...from dance...friends...meis...sfc...shin-13...every little contribution had been of great help to mi...n helped mi continue to live strong...yeah!haha...but i wan to dedicate a special 10z to 2 veri nice friends hu where dere when i lookin for ppl to tok to...

first one is zhenyu...last time we seldom realli tok one...at least nv tok abt things abt life one...but now more often liao...den once u realise i down liao... u will most of the time...erm...scold mi? haha...but i woke up everytime la...so realli 10z lor...i will remember the forever so cheerin up line "u mano high tension" haha...n oso one philosophy...everything has yin n yang...

second one is wei xuan...realli xing ku ni le...everytime need to wori for my stuff...i feel so pai seh sia...but i guess i still find u rite...coz u no how to tok out the prob wit mi...n let mi c the whole pic n make a better decision...u always did more than wat is expected one... lik tt time i ask u to chat wit mi...den u stop doin ur hw n chat wit mi...den even offered to help mi do my stuff when i say i got too muc stuff to do...i mean wat ever more can i ask for...i realli duno wat to say...but i will always remember ur teachin...sumtimes we muz tink lik kids...haha...n oso the naggy times when i was wit my buddies...dun supper n tok too long n rest early...

for dose not mention dun feel tt i hav not acknowledge ur support n encouragement...i did...but i juz feel tt i shld bring out dis 2 ppl to tok abt...hu noes...u might b the one i will tok abt tml...haha...

msg of the day: ni hui pei wo zai zhou zhe hui ma...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

disappointment

sumtimes in life we exp disappointment or make others feel disappointed towards us...well i duno abt wat others tink...but i m sure dere r ppl hu r disappointed wit mi one la...duno y...sixth sense ba...but i m definitely veri disappointed wit myself wit certain things...

eg is today napfa lor...i no la...i not fit la...cant expect too muc...but den i was rather disappointed wit my weak determination...i no i hav back pain n all...tts y not tryin hard...but y cant i juz push myself juz a little more...n mayb i can get a better timin to show myself tt i can do it wit a bit of will power...

den another thing is CDC...i hav been dis to myself for quite a while...but i realli cant take it anymore liao...now got so mani proj...but members a lot not veri cooperative...but seriously i cant blame dem la...coz dey now year 2...A lvl leh...veri stress one...i oso dun wan to touch dem one...but the situation is juz too desperate liao lor...haiz...but i juz dun understand y will bad until lik tt...i guess mayb my management method is not correct ba...i duno la...mayb i m juz not cut out to b in a management post ba...i duno...i oso dun wan to tink too muc abt dis...i juz wish tt it end soon...coz i veri tired of it le...

i tink basically i my losin control of my own tinkin liao le...haiz...losin faith sum might say...haiz...i tink its coz i gettin too stress wit everything liao la...haiz...summore i lost my ji shen shang de zhi zhu...haiz...now dun hav a person to tok to abt my stuff le...but sori hor to ppl out dere...not say u all cant help mi share my stuff la...but i veri "picky" abt the person i tok to one...i mean lik ya la...i can tok to everyone abt it one ...but onli certain ppl can provide mi wit the ji shen zhi zhu i need...so i normally will find dis ppl...but now lik dun hav le...ok la...hav a few la...but sumtimes certain restrictions juz stop mi from goin to dem...haiz...
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24hrRu!
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dis topic rite...i duno wat nhds ppl tink la...but i tink can apply on u all leh...u all tink abt it la...the amount of disappointment tt u all will place on urselves n b placed on u if u all dun do well for ur syf...not givin u all extra stress la...but u all juz tink abt it urselves lor...i dun wan to say too muc le...coz i oso not in veri gd mood to do all dis pet tok...but anyway...u all take care...jia you ba...

msg of the day:disappointment is so damagin,sumtimes it destroys ur faith...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...

dun look at the surface

haha...its has being a while since i wrote sth...had been quite bz la...for dose interested to no...well erm...actually i wan to write sth the other day when i came back from kallang theatre...but coz i felt better after a nap...didnt wan to rake up the unhappi things to say again...

anyway todays entry got time to write is coz now i in sch waitin for a thank you dinner to start...so decided to cum to the com lab to write sth lor...to keep my readers updated :)... i mean lik everyone has waited for quite a while for dis entry rite...haha...esp +^.^+...rite? haha...

anyway i got one impt thing to address...coz i feel tt its rather unfair for tt person tt such things happen...well anyway its abt zhongyi la...well i duno la...but i heard tt a lot of u dun lik him liao...bcoz of wat he had said durin tt sat prac previously...well whether if its true or not...but den i guess i shld try to help him clear his name...

i duno how to say dis la...coz i guess u all might not wan to listen to dis explaination...but i still insist on sayin it la...i no wat zhongyi said on tt day was rather blunt n mayb insultin or even critisin to sum of u...but plz trust mi...wat he say is correct one...is not anyhow tok one...he noes a lot of things tt u guys dun or even the rest of the younger lao jiaos...plz try to b more understandin of our "job" here...wat we do is to help u all one...so if we take things the wrong approach...plz forgive us...as we r humans n do make mistakes...n its at times lik dis we need ur feedback to let us no tt u guys dun lik dis approach...lik tt den we can improve together...its a 2-way thing...for a common goal...n tt is for the benefit for nhds...

i cant realli fully explain everything here...coz i duno wat is ur impression of him now la...but den if u wan...u can cum n look for mi n find out the truth...i m sure all of u r not such lousy ppl...hu lik to mark ppl for deir mistakes...zhongyi spend his time here to try to help u ppl...makin sacrifices...even sacrifices lik causin his newly built up image...juz in exhange for u all to wake up...but in the end...mani r still aslp...worse still he got in return was hatred...dis is so unfair to him...plz dun c mi wrong...i m here helpin clear his name not bcoz i m his buddy...its bcoz i dun wan u ppl to b the sinners by blamin him for the wrong reasons...so plz if u all got any barriers built up against him...plz allow mi to try to remove dis barrier...for things r not as it is tt u c on the surface...n if u hav understood my pt...i wld b more den delighted if u enlighten ur friends as well...10z in advance...

i no dis is rather long...but plz understand sumtimes we hav our restrictions...i juz hope tt all our efforts r not in vain...jia you nhds...all the best...
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24hrRu!
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my mood has not realli gotten better...still lik tt...veri ez angry...n i get headaches more frequently...i tink i cant keep dis up for muc longer...i tink after syf i might wan to stop goin back for a while to try to relac myself a bit...coz sumtimes goin back is realli stressful...i guess the bulk of u wun understand ba...but anyways... sumtimes i realli duno wat i m tinkin...always feelin empty...even more often den in the past...izzit coz bcoz i m too bz liao...den if i get to slack...the contrast is so big tt i feel empty...i realli duno...but for ppl hu care...dun get mi wrong...i m not sayin tt u all r not doin ur job as friend...its juz mi...i tink mayb dis is dose so called transaction period where u juz feel down veri often lor...i juz hav to get over it soon...hopely b4 my midyear exam...haiz...sumtimes i realli wish dere is sumone to tok to mi when i feel tt way...

msg of the day: sumtimes in life we feel tt the effort tt we put in,is not rewarded wit the rightful amount of results tt u expects...


P.S: anyway regardin the navigation of dis blog...dere r "2 pg" in dis blog...basically "blog" n "navigation"..."blog" obviously will show u all the entries... n "navigation will show u all the "stuff" eg abt mi, name, age, chatterbox etc...dis 2 "links will b found at the bottom left hand corner of the entry box...whereby "blog" is on top n "navigation" is below...juz click on the one u wan to c...hav fun readin...