recently i realli duno wat m i doin...first i m all blur...always forgettin things...ya i no i m forgetful...but dis is worse den normal...den i m not focused...cant realli concentrate on the things i m doin...a lot of mistakes here n dere...tt day i change the clock battery...at least i wind the time wrongly...after i changed it...i accidentally broke it...
den its lik ever since den my days juz get more n more sway...coz the next day i spill ice kacang all over my uni...dam la...i smelled lik red bean for the rest of the day...den to make things worse...sumone how to lik broadcast to the whole world...sia la...i pissed enuff liao...he still wan to add oil to the flame...den in evenin...wan to go back liao...i decided i was sway enuff...n decided to call cab...there wasnt any cab...despite the rain...den i call for a cab...n lik 30 sec after the phone put down...a queue of cab came up...its lik wtf la...dam sway...
i realli nth to say abt my days now...but i dun tink abt the days to come...mayb m wish realli came true...mayb i hav spent all my luck...all i can hope is tt the wish will deliver on the other end...altho i feel lik i hav oredi paid for it...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
recently i keepin on dreamin abt all sorts of things...one of dem is a repeated dream wich i hav from time to time...wich i m afraid tt it might come true sum day...coz sum of dreams do come true...summore dey r lik so similar wat realli happens...the speech...the ppl...the bkgrd...its lik so freaky la...
but the thing tt links all the dreams together is the vivid content tt i tend to remember...coz normally we remember dreams lik generally wat happen n stuff lik tt...but i remember seein sumone/thing veri vividly...its lik the same person appears in the diff dreams...n even if the person doesnt appear...the belongins of the person appears instead...izzit mi or is sth seriously wrong...n my subcious mind is tryin to hint sth to mi...
one time coincidence...
two times tots...
three times obession...
four times depression...
five times i tink better c the doctor...
i m now currently on lvl 4...wich i tink i do fall into depression from time to time...so i guess when ppl r pessimistic...dey tend to dream abt happi things...or things dey wish tt were real...fantasizin...but of course dun tink until the crooked one la...i duno abt the whole issue...i dun wan to tink too muc into it...unless it occurs again for lik the next fews days or a wk...den i tink seriously i need to do sth abt it...
but lucky its not the dream tt i dream everytime when my bday drawin near...tt one is the freakiest of all la...every year abt the same time i will dream abt it...den it seems tt eveytime i dream tt dream...the story lengthens each time revealin more "secrets"...i wonder is dere any connection to my life...dun u tink its freaky if its lik a drama series of ur life or mayb future...wats ur view?
msg of the day:a body without a soul is lik an angel without wings...
~ Life has to end. Love doesn’t. ~
25 January 2006
22 January 2006
communication
sumtimes i feel tt communication btwn ppl is veri impt...coz if dere is a communication breakdown btwn 2 parties...den msg mayb get distorted...n things get messed up n all la...den its lik if tokin to the person oredi has difficulty...den let alone doin things...
lik nan hua la...if u dun communicate wit the kids...den its lik dey understand ur style...n u dun understand deir style...den things get cocked up...coz mayb dey dun lik ur method of workin...but dey dun wan to say...all dey do is complain...n sumtimes do it in deir own way...in the end bcoz of heavy human factors...the result u get might not b lik wat u wanted it to b...n it juz triggers the red light for everyone...den boom...
i duno ppl readin understand the msg tt i tryin to send across a not...but wat i realli wan to say is communication is veri impt...especially for a grp of friends...lack of communication might coz dem to drift apart...zzz...no juice cant write...share stop here...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
dis few days i hav been reflectin on my 2nd life...well discoveries has lead mi to 2 conclusions...first i haven realli done anything to repay my 2nd life...second i realli need to tink abt the idea of goin into counsellin...
well after my reflection i realise wat a mess i hav created in my life...n mayb others...n come to tink of it...i tink i haven been realli reflectin for a while...coz m life is lik so rountine everyday...slp work eat slp work....nv realli got to sit down wit a clear mind n look back...mayb i shld lik set aside sumtime from my forever bz shedule to do regular reflections...tt may help things to b better...
duh...no juice again...aiya forget it la...
msg of the day:180 degrees turnin pt,away from heaven...
lik nan hua la...if u dun communicate wit the kids...den its lik dey understand ur style...n u dun understand deir style...den things get cocked up...coz mayb dey dun lik ur method of workin...but dey dun wan to say...all dey do is complain...n sumtimes do it in deir own way...in the end bcoz of heavy human factors...the result u get might not b lik wat u wanted it to b...n it juz triggers the red light for everyone...den boom...
i duno ppl readin understand the msg tt i tryin to send across a not...but wat i realli wan to say is communication is veri impt...especially for a grp of friends...lack of communication might coz dem to drift apart...zzz...no juice cant write...share stop here...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
dis few days i hav been reflectin on my 2nd life...well discoveries has lead mi to 2 conclusions...first i haven realli done anything to repay my 2nd life...second i realli need to tink abt the idea of goin into counsellin...
well after my reflection i realise wat a mess i hav created in my life...n mayb others...n come to tink of it...i tink i haven been realli reflectin for a while...coz m life is lik so rountine everyday...slp work eat slp work....nv realli got to sit down wit a clear mind n look back...mayb i shld lik set aside sumtime from my forever bz shedule to do regular reflections...tt may help things to b better...
duh...no juice again...aiya forget it la...
msg of the day:180 degrees turnin pt,away from heaven...
19 January 2006
tests
You scored as Drow. You are a Drow, a very ancient breed of elf. They major in magicks. They very dark and mysterious and mever really trust anyone. Very shady lonesome people. Lighten up and go to a party. You might meet someone special there... ^.~
What ancient breed are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
You scored as Angel. Angel: Angels are the guardians of all things, from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. They give inspiration, love, hope, and positive emotion. They live among humans without being seen. They are the good in all things, and if you feel alone, don't fear. They are always watching. Often times they merely stand by, whispering into the ears of those who feel lost. They would love nothing more then to reveal themselves, but in today's society, this would bring havoc and many unneeded questions. Give thanks to all things beautiful, for you are an Angel.
|
You scored as Psychology. You should be a Psychology major!
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com |
clear skies
well dis entry is to wrap up all the previous entries regardin the issue tt has been goin on...wit specially dedication to dose involved directly n indirectly...btw things said here might b more den wat i said on the phone...so u guys might wan to read it more clearly...
well lets start things wit the facts b4 i go into how i feel...firstly...i misinterpreted a msg...wich lead to dis big hu ha...basically the msg was plain simple n sincerely its an act of care n concern...wich in dis case shld b rejoice for friendships sake...secondly i was the one hu made it a hu ha by broadcastin it b4 i got the facts rite...so yeah...i admit tt i was being rash...wich i shall try my best to remind myself not to b...i shall elaborate on being rash on the btm...thirdly i shall hav calmed down n kept a clear mind b4 i look at the whole issue instead of tryin to gather ppls opinion...wich further worsen the misunderstandin...coz dose ppl were provided wit the wrong info...so dose hu gave mi opinion were not to blame...
i wld lik to add tt i m thankful to dose ppl hu were on the phone juz now wit mi...coz if not for dem...i wldnt no tt i hav such probs existing wit mi...wich i greatly appreciate...so i urge ppl out dere readin dis...pls do tell ur friends deir short comins if u realli care...coz if u dun...when the prob comes along...things might get nasty n harder to handle den tellin the person abt it...but of course lookin for the rite situation n choosin the rite words r veri impt in order not to hav any misunderstandin later on...but do bcareful tt diff ppl lik things diff way...eg for mi i lik things frankly...but definitely not bluntly...its diff...anyways i oso wan to thank ppl hu tried to help mi get out from my depression durin dis period...now tt things r over i will b fine from here on...provided nth else happens...
so i conclude tt the whole issue was actually onli mi...tinkin too muc n oso misinterpretin n oso not gettin the facts rite b4 broadcastin it out...so i wld lik to apologize for all tt i hav done...i onli can say tt once again i get myself into trouble wit the ways i handle stuff...n tt is being too emotional abt stuff...mayb i shld reconsider wit wat i m goin to do wit my life down the rd...in order not to make the wrong choice...n regretin later on...
THANKS TO PPL HU WERE DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY INVOLVED IN DIS
I HAV JUZ ATTENDED ANOTHER LESSON TO LIFE
TTS WAT I MEAN BY LEARNING FROM EVERYTHING
N SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIECE & UNHAPPINESS COZ
ESPECIALLY TO DOSE TT WERE ON THE PHONE
PS: In case anyone reads to deep into dis entry, this entry was written wit 100% sincerity. N its definitely bcoz i decided to giv in. So pls dun get the wrong idea.10z. btw it may take mi time to adjust back. so if i seem antisocial juz bare wit mi.
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
haiz...i hav to say tt i always get into trouble wit being too rash wit my decision...so i m now bloggin to remind myself tt i muznt b so rash wit my decisions...n it wld b best tt i hav sumone bside mi to remain calm...tts y i m not cut out to b a leader...tts wat i seriously tink...i tink i m always more suited for a supportin role ba...
so i tink wat i said abt walkin away on one of the previous entries might hold ba...coz i mean i need to stamp down on my decision while its clear...reframe myself from fallin into the same trap...i realli realli need to remember to slowly walk away...n go on wit life...for dose hu noes wat i m tokin abt here...pls do remind mi if u c mi goin on the wrong path again...
msg of the day:changes bring chaos,but chaos is inevitable...
well lets start things wit the facts b4 i go into how i feel...firstly...i misinterpreted a msg...wich lead to dis big hu ha...basically the msg was plain simple n sincerely its an act of care n concern...wich in dis case shld b rejoice for friendships sake...secondly i was the one hu made it a hu ha by broadcastin it b4 i got the facts rite...so yeah...i admit tt i was being rash...wich i shall try my best to remind myself not to b...i shall elaborate on being rash on the btm...thirdly i shall hav calmed down n kept a clear mind b4 i look at the whole issue instead of tryin to gather ppls opinion...wich further worsen the misunderstandin...coz dose ppl were provided wit the wrong info...so dose hu gave mi opinion were not to blame...
i wld lik to add tt i m thankful to dose ppl hu were on the phone juz now wit mi...coz if not for dem...i wldnt no tt i hav such probs existing wit mi...wich i greatly appreciate...so i urge ppl out dere readin dis...pls do tell ur friends deir short comins if u realli care...coz if u dun...when the prob comes along...things might get nasty n harder to handle den tellin the person abt it...but of course lookin for the rite situation n choosin the rite words r veri impt in order not to hav any misunderstandin later on...but do bcareful tt diff ppl lik things diff way...eg for mi i lik things frankly...but definitely not bluntly...its diff...anyways i oso wan to thank ppl hu tried to help mi get out from my depression durin dis period...now tt things r over i will b fine from here on...provided nth else happens...
so i conclude tt the whole issue was actually onli mi...tinkin too muc n oso misinterpretin n oso not gettin the facts rite b4 broadcastin it out...so i wld lik to apologize for all tt i hav done...i onli can say tt once again i get myself into trouble wit the ways i handle stuff...n tt is being too emotional abt stuff...mayb i shld reconsider wit wat i m goin to do wit my life down the rd...in order not to make the wrong choice...n regretin later on...
THANKS TO PPL HU WERE DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY INVOLVED IN DIS
I HAV JUZ ATTENDED ANOTHER LESSON TO LIFE
TTS WAT I MEAN BY LEARNING FROM EVERYTHING
N SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIECE & UNHAPPINESS COZ
ESPECIALLY TO DOSE TT WERE ON THE PHONE
PS: In case anyone reads to deep into dis entry, this entry was written wit 100% sincerity. N its definitely bcoz i decided to giv in. So pls dun get the wrong idea.10z. btw it may take mi time to adjust back. so if i seem antisocial juz bare wit mi.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
haiz...i hav to say tt i always get into trouble wit being too rash wit my decision...so i m now bloggin to remind myself tt i muznt b so rash wit my decisions...n it wld b best tt i hav sumone bside mi to remain calm...tts y i m not cut out to b a leader...tts wat i seriously tink...i tink i m always more suited for a supportin role ba...
so i tink wat i said abt walkin away on one of the previous entries might hold ba...coz i mean i need to stamp down on my decision while its clear...reframe myself from fallin into the same trap...i realli realli need to remember to slowly walk away...n go on wit life...for dose hu noes wat i m tokin abt here...pls do remind mi if u c mi goin on the wrong path again...
msg of the day:changes bring chaos,but chaos is inevitable...
18 January 2006
Disclaimer
well dis few days i hav been writin a lot of shootin entries n also veri depressin entries...but not as if last time not like tt...but juz in case ppl mistaken my intentions...my entries carry...no evil meanin...i write dem mostly to release my stress...
i no my own condition n its impt for mi to hav a ave to release my emotions...so most entries i write is under extreme conditions...in other words when my mind isnt clear...so i in order to clear it...i 'throw' dose rubbish tots here...so it may get a little messy here...ya so readers pls take into consideration tt things r written when i m not in the rite state of mind...if things reached a stage tt i cant even blog w/o being afraid of sendin the wrong msg to my readers...den mayb i wld decide to stop bloggin... but doin so it wld deprive veri friends of the rite to no wats goin now n thus show care n concern...
i appreciate dose hu has been standin by mi during dis period...n also ppl hu bothers to read my blog...you may b sum one who hates me or sumone hu likes mi...but it doesnt matter...the fact tt you bother to read means i mean sth to ur life...mayb u wun to c how pathetic i m doin or how gg i m doin...but either way you add to the a part of my world...taggers once again...i wld lik to show my appreciation...n btw anonymous if u r still readin dis...can u plz stand in the light...coz if u r a friend den y is dere a need to hide...but if u r a foe its still alrite...coz we might bcome best friends in the end...of coz after the eminity is removed...sincerely i juz wan to make friends...
P.S. This entry is written early in the mornin wit a clear mind
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
i duno wat is dis all abt...but i guess i hav come to a conclusion...i will try to convince myself to try to step out of dis tirin run in the near future...i enjoy helpin i realli do...sincerely...blive it or not...but i guess the set backs i receive is too muc for mi to handle...
i will slowly walk away so tt things wun b crashin down...but when the day comes when i hav totally stepped out from dis crushin burden...plz do not condemn me...coz i m realli tired...i need to start to myself a own life...one tt doesnt revolve ard onli one person or a grp of ppl...
by now you guys muz b wonderin wat exactly is the thing tt i m walked away from...well...i tink it is better for time to reveal the secret.. if not i might not he able toset my mind to do it...
i no i m weak in my mind...i cant b a loner...i dun lik being one...so my dear friends pls dun walk out on mi...coz i reassure u guys i m not walkin out on u guys...
msg of the day:the decision may b tough,but things still has to b done...
i no my own condition n its impt for mi to hav a ave to release my emotions...so most entries i write is under extreme conditions...in other words when my mind isnt clear...so i in order to clear it...i 'throw' dose rubbish tots here...so it may get a little messy here...ya so readers pls take into consideration tt things r written when i m not in the rite state of mind...if things reached a stage tt i cant even blog w/o being afraid of sendin the wrong msg to my readers...den mayb i wld decide to stop bloggin... but doin so it wld deprive veri friends of the rite to no wats goin now n thus show care n concern...
i appreciate dose hu has been standin by mi during dis period...n also ppl hu bothers to read my blog...you may b sum one who hates me or sumone hu likes mi...but it doesnt matter...the fact tt you bother to read means i mean sth to ur life...mayb u wun to c how pathetic i m doin or how gg i m doin...but either way you add to the a part of my world...taggers once again...i wld lik to show my appreciation...n btw anonymous if u r still readin dis...can u plz stand in the light...coz if u r a friend den y is dere a need to hide...but if u r a foe its still alrite...coz we might bcome best friends in the end...of coz after the eminity is removed...sincerely i juz wan to make friends...
P.S. This entry is written early in the mornin wit a clear mind
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
i duno wat is dis all abt...but i guess i hav come to a conclusion...i will try to convince myself to try to step out of dis tirin run in the near future...i enjoy helpin i realli do...sincerely...blive it or not...but i guess the set backs i receive is too muc for mi to handle...
i will slowly walk away so tt things wun b crashin down...but when the day comes when i hav totally stepped out from dis crushin burden...plz do not condemn me...coz i m realli tired...i need to start to myself a own life...one tt doesnt revolve ard onli one person or a grp of ppl...
by now you guys muz b wonderin wat exactly is the thing tt i m walked away from...well...i tink it is better for time to reveal the secret.. if not i might not he able toset my mind to do it...
i no i m weak in my mind...i cant b a loner...i dun lik being one...so my dear friends pls dun walk out on mi...coz i reassure u guys i m not walkin out on u guys...
msg of the day:the decision may b tough,but things still has to b done...
17 January 2006
liar!
in my whole life dere is a kind of ppl tt i hate most...i guess ppl readin shld no by now wat kind of ppl i referin to...yes...LIARS...its weird la...i myself oso feel so...dere r so mani kind of bad ppl...lik backstabbers, hypocrites n blah blah blah...but i still hate liars the most...
but of course all ppl lie...so it doesnt mean tt i hate everyone...i onli hate extreme liars...especially dose kind hu treats ur trust lik dirt...i still remember until now...i hav onli branded one person as a liar...until now i haven speak to the person yet...its lik 4-5 years...i m not being petty here...i juz cant stand liars...of course i did try to tok to the person after i forgive the person...but i tink tt person figured tt i hated tt person so muc tt i didnt wan to tok to tt person...so tt person juz walked away...from my life...but not as if it will matter...since tt person is a liar...hu noes tt person cant change...wun i hav to suffer all over again...
but all in all...even if tt person was my closest friend...once branded liar...i will nv treat u the same again...so pls dun try to chu any STUNS...10q for ur understandin...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
dam i hate to lose stuff...b it a friend or juz sum internet stuff(lik the short story)...it is so du lan to lose sth...i m sure everyone here has lost a thing or another...the feelin juz sucks...
but luckily for mi...i haven lose anything YET...n i hope i dun...coz i dun wan the sucky feelin...
but if it was stolen den it b a diff case la...lik zhi yan wld say...at least the thing stolen wld make the thief happi...well mayb hes rite...juz hope tt the thief dun die a TERRIBLE DEATH...:p
msg of the day:the truth may b ugly,but i HATE liars...
but of course all ppl lie...so it doesnt mean tt i hate everyone...i onli hate extreme liars...especially dose kind hu treats ur trust lik dirt...i still remember until now...i hav onli branded one person as a liar...until now i haven speak to the person yet...its lik 4-5 years...i m not being petty here...i juz cant stand liars...of course i did try to tok to the person after i forgive the person...but i tink tt person figured tt i hated tt person so muc tt i didnt wan to tok to tt person...so tt person juz walked away...from my life...but not as if it will matter...since tt person is a liar...hu noes tt person cant change...wun i hav to suffer all over again...
but all in all...even if tt person was my closest friend...once branded liar...i will nv treat u the same again...so pls dun try to chu any STUNS...10q for ur understandin...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
dam i hate to lose stuff...b it a friend or juz sum internet stuff(lik the short story)...it is so du lan to lose sth...i m sure everyone here has lost a thing or another...the feelin juz sucks...
but luckily for mi...i haven lose anything YET...n i hope i dun...coz i dun wan the sucky feelin...
but if it was stolen den it b a diff case la...lik zhi yan wld say...at least the thing stolen wld make the thief happi...well mayb hes rite...juz hope tt the thief dun die a TERRIBLE DEATH...:p
msg of the day:the truth may b ugly,but i HATE liars...
16 January 2006
ultimate swayness
i duno how dis can all happen at the same time la...but it is...my world is collaspin simutaneously...its lik omg...it seems as if i hav nth to fall back on...n i juz realise how weird i define the things tt i can fall back on...
after dis whole mess...i hav been thrown back to the start...wit the big ? infront of mi once again...i tot i answer tt qn long ago...y do i hav to answer it again...
i was wrong...i didnt hav the answer to the qn...i was juz smokin my way thru...the probs nv did go away...the answer was nv rite...i nv got out from the btmless pit...confusin eh? yes it is...i tink i juz cldnt face wit the reality...tts y i smoke myself...i m so ugly...unless...hum...y cant i b brave n juz accept the reality tt has always been dere in front of mi...covered wit thick smoke...now the smoke is startin to clear...n i m startin to choke...
mayb its the wish tt i made...yes i came true...at least for 1 day...n ultimate swayness was the price to pay...when u tot tt dis is the swaiest u can get...tink again...now i live in constant fear...but dis time not of the unknown...but the known...i feel torn...by myself...
my world is now resolvin ard 2 suns...but the 2 suns seem to b dying out oredi...either one cld juz burn out or explode on mi one day...den mayb tts the day...the day where the REAL blackhole will b formed...suckin hell out of my world...
i m afraid...my sixth sense is goin crazy...its so scary...its so accurate...BUT i dun wan it to come true realli...if not even trust cant carry mi thru the rest of my pathetic life...i mean i trusted dem...i realli did...but y did dey hav to lie...y muz ppl always lie to mi...i hate liers...go away...i may b a deep tinker...but i guess i place too muc on trust...i dun tink enuff...foolish...allowin history to repeat itself yet once again...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
story of a music box
2 friends went to a beach to spend the day
1 of dem found a music box and a key
but didnt tink muc of it n pass it to his friend
his friend took the box n decides tt he wans to c the contents
he tried n tried
his efforts were of no use
the box is too rusty forcin it might break the key
tt guy didnt wan to giv up
day by day the guy faithfully oil the key hole
n his efforts were rewarded
the box opened
n in it was a beautiful ballerina
the guy didnt stop dere
he took time to polish it as often as cld afford to
he even add new additions to the box
he felt connected wit the ballerina
the guy felt a strong feelin for the ballerina
but too bad he noes tt its nonsense to tink abt such stuff
he no tt he wun get anywhere wit the ballerina
but he still decided to keep the box by his side
he posted the pic of the box on friendsters n used it as his display pic for msn
one day sumone email the guy sayin tt the box belonged to his gf
the guy no tt the onli rite thing to do is to return the box
but y didnt tt person cherish the box onli until now
tt guy was the one hu put in effort to make the box more presentable more confident
but all tt person did was claim it as his gf's
now tt person wans to take b wat was rusty n old
wich now has become a shinin piece of art
tt guy is torn btwn being honest n holding his intregity n the long term welfare of the box
the guy poundered for day n nite
he cldnt slp well he cldnt eat well
finally he has made up his mind
*Error:text missing*
msg of the day:wat do u wan my role to b...
after dis whole mess...i hav been thrown back to the start...wit the big ? infront of mi once again...i tot i answer tt qn long ago...y do i hav to answer it again...
i was wrong...i didnt hav the answer to the qn...i was juz smokin my way thru...the probs nv did go away...the answer was nv rite...i nv got out from the btmless pit...confusin eh? yes it is...i tink i juz cldnt face wit the reality...tts y i smoke myself...i m so ugly...unless...hum...y cant i b brave n juz accept the reality tt has always been dere in front of mi...covered wit thick smoke...now the smoke is startin to clear...n i m startin to choke...
mayb its the wish tt i made...yes i came true...at least for 1 day...n ultimate swayness was the price to pay...when u tot tt dis is the swaiest u can get...tink again...now i live in constant fear...but dis time not of the unknown...but the known...i feel torn...by myself...
my world is now resolvin ard 2 suns...but the 2 suns seem to b dying out oredi...either one cld juz burn out or explode on mi one day...den mayb tts the day...the day where the REAL blackhole will b formed...suckin hell out of my world...
i m afraid...my sixth sense is goin crazy...its so scary...its so accurate...BUT i dun wan it to come true realli...if not even trust cant carry mi thru the rest of my pathetic life...i mean i trusted dem...i realli did...but y did dey hav to lie...y muz ppl always lie to mi...i hate liers...go away...i may b a deep tinker...but i guess i place too muc on trust...i dun tink enuff...foolish...allowin history to repeat itself yet once again...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
24hrGA
~~~~~~
story of a music box
2 friends went to a beach to spend the day
1 of dem found a music box and a key
but didnt tink muc of it n pass it to his friend
his friend took the box n decides tt he wans to c the contents
he tried n tried
his efforts were of no use
the box is too rusty forcin it might break the key
tt guy didnt wan to giv up
day by day the guy faithfully oil the key hole
n his efforts were rewarded
the box opened
n in it was a beautiful ballerina
the guy didnt stop dere
he took time to polish it as often as cld afford to
he even add new additions to the box
he felt connected wit the ballerina
the guy felt a strong feelin for the ballerina
but too bad he noes tt its nonsense to tink abt such stuff
he no tt he wun get anywhere wit the ballerina
but he still decided to keep the box by his side
he posted the pic of the box on friendsters n used it as his display pic for msn
one day sumone email the guy sayin tt the box belonged to his gf
the guy no tt the onli rite thing to do is to return the box
but y didnt tt person cherish the box onli until now
tt guy was the one hu put in effort to make the box more presentable more confident
but all tt person did was claim it as his gf's
now tt person wans to take b wat was rusty n old
wich now has become a shinin piece of art
tt guy is torn btwn being honest n holding his intregity n the long term welfare of the box
the guy poundered for day n nite
he cldnt slp well he cldnt eat well
finally he has made up his mind
*Error:text missing*
msg of the day:wat do u wan my role to b...
15 January 2006
wat hav i done wrong to deserve dis...
today was suppose n initially a gd day...manage to spend sum time wit Fate...performed again since last chingay...i mean lik i m not realli as into dancin as zhongyi la...but i mean after being in dance for such a long time...i still do carve for a gd dance...but of course my standards not veri high one...BUT...sum ppl juz hav to spoil my day...n ya Fate one too...
i mean lik wat r u tryin to do...ok la...mayb not onli u...mayb its u all...but it is not impt...the thing is i duno whether the things tt u r tokin bhind our backs is for wat reason or motive...but if its bcoz of the apparent reason...den i tink u r being unreasonable...i mean hu r u to critise...bloody hell...n dun u tink tt ur tinkin is VERI childish...wat does my presence has anything to do wit whether u can tok to another person a not...its not lik i forbid the communication lik tt lor...dis is rubbish lor...
den if u r lightin the fire juz bcoz u dun lik mi or wat so ever...den y the fuck do u hav to drag her into dis too...did u deliberately do it to piss mi off or u tink its fun...na heia...u not happi at mi...den juz come for mi...dun drag her or other ppl in...i dun care u boy or gal...not happi thrash things out la...i rather get shoot from the front oso wun appect being attacked from the back...in dis case worse...u attacked her!
juz now i didnt no whether to feel angry wit the whole shit or to feel disappointed...or even sad...i mean lik now i m angry...but disappointed coz i tot u hav matured...but it seems tt u nv did...tts juz so sad...for u...pls la...its time to grow up...sad is coz sumhow dis thing has affected mani other things...n i m veri annoyed by the whole issue...
i hav a condition one...i no...i no myself well enuff...dere r things tt i can ren...but dere r oso things tt i cant...n dis i CANT...juz now i was abt to do sth unrational...but lucky for everyone...Fate was wit mi until my temper lighten up a bit...i duno y i still bother wit all dis crap...
all my 2nd life...i hav been tryin to b of my best side all the time...tryin to b an angel...help ppl...make ppls day...yes i do break ppls day too...but lik wtf...wat hav i done wrong to deserve dis...na heia...at dis pt...i realli feel tt mayb life 2 has been long enuff...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
lucky for mi...not all my FRIENDS r lik tt...i realli thank dose hu helped mi calm down...one even showed such a touchin gesture...tt i cant help it but c the light at the end of dis btmless pit...
no matter wat happens to mi...at least i no in life 2 my time wasnt wasted...coz i was abt touch ppls life n my life was touched too...ppl may walk in n out...but dere is always a grp tt r here to stay...tts all the encouragement i need...a 10q might not b enuff...but it expresses the thousands of words tt i hav to say...so...10z ppl...
Fate: i duno whether u will b readin dis a not...at least even if u read...u wun b readin in the near future...but the thing is...i may not bare to walk away from the way things r now...but if dere is a need...i will silently walk away...painful it mayb...but deres nth else i cld do...10z for the encouragements...little dey mayb...dey still mean a lot to mi...
I may not have wished for this,but i dare not ask for more. I just want to be with you.
msg of the day:i hav tried my best...yet i wasnt able to achieve my goal...
i mean lik wat r u tryin to do...ok la...mayb not onli u...mayb its u all...but it is not impt...the thing is i duno whether the things tt u r tokin bhind our backs is for wat reason or motive...but if its bcoz of the apparent reason...den i tink u r being unreasonable...i mean hu r u to critise...bloody hell...n dun u tink tt ur tinkin is VERI childish...wat does my presence has anything to do wit whether u can tok to another person a not...its not lik i forbid the communication lik tt lor...dis is rubbish lor...
den if u r lightin the fire juz bcoz u dun lik mi or wat so ever...den y the fuck do u hav to drag her into dis too...did u deliberately do it to piss mi off or u tink its fun...na heia...u not happi at mi...den juz come for mi...dun drag her or other ppl in...i dun care u boy or gal...not happi thrash things out la...i rather get shoot from the front oso wun appect being attacked from the back...in dis case worse...u attacked her!
juz now i didnt no whether to feel angry wit the whole shit or to feel disappointed...or even sad...i mean lik now i m angry...but disappointed coz i tot u hav matured...but it seems tt u nv did...tts juz so sad...for u...pls la...its time to grow up...sad is coz sumhow dis thing has affected mani other things...n i m veri annoyed by the whole issue...
i hav a condition one...i no...i no myself well enuff...dere r things tt i can ren...but dere r oso things tt i cant...n dis i CANT...juz now i was abt to do sth unrational...but lucky for everyone...Fate was wit mi until my temper lighten up a bit...i duno y i still bother wit all dis crap...
all my 2nd life...i hav been tryin to b of my best side all the time...tryin to b an angel...help ppl...make ppls day...yes i do break ppls day too...but lik wtf...wat hav i done wrong to deserve dis...na heia...at dis pt...i realli feel tt mayb life 2 has been long enuff...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
lucky for mi...not all my FRIENDS r lik tt...i realli thank dose hu helped mi calm down...one even showed such a touchin gesture...tt i cant help it but c the light at the end of dis btmless pit...
no matter wat happens to mi...at least i no in life 2 my time wasnt wasted...coz i was abt touch ppls life n my life was touched too...ppl may walk in n out...but dere is always a grp tt r here to stay...tts all the encouragement i need...a 10q might not b enuff...but it expresses the thousands of words tt i hav to say...so...10z ppl...
Fate: i duno whether u will b readin dis a not...at least even if u read...u wun b readin in the near future...but the thing is...i may not bare to walk away from the way things r now...but if dere is a need...i will silently walk away...painful it mayb...but deres nth else i cld do...10z for the encouragements...little dey mayb...dey still mean a lot to mi...
I may not have wished for this,but i dare not ask for more. I just want to be with you.
msg of the day:i hav tried my best...yet i wasnt able to achieve my goal...
11 January 2006
to rite or to left
back to work after a days rest...yesterday...ok la...quite enjoyable...i was able to enlighten her on sth abt life again...i hope i cld help her overcome dis barrier...
ba...not goin to elaborate too muc abt it...anyways recently life is so rountine tt dere isnt muc to write abt...
but anyways...dis is sth tt i pondered abt yesterday...in sum pt or another of our life...we will meet ppl tt we dislik a lot...bcoz of wat dey did to us or the ppl ard us...i discriminate against dem too...till yesterday i was reminded of my philisophy...my perspective of life...when i was tokin to her yesterday...
we shldnt return deir "kindness" wit our "kindness"...we shld b true to ourselves n b nice...n wit time...dis ppl will feel guilty n change for the better on deir on...wldnt tt b better...
well...dis is onli wat i tink la...mayb u guys can tink abt it n tell mi ur comments...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
u no when ur com kana bug or wat...ur com will perform muc slower n hang/crash more often... i tink tt is the reason y i oso start to get probs wit myself too...i duno for sure...but i tink it shld b the reason...i m bugged...
one of the things tt bugs me...mayb i shldnt say bug...since its the path tt i chose to embark on...at the crossrds...i duno whether to go rite or left...n how muc to go...the worse is i dun even no wich is rite or left...
if i wan the answer...i onli hav to ask...but dis kind of things how to ask lor...sumtimes u tink tt it is suppose to b rite...den suddenly the signals ask u to go left...now i tink it has reached a pt where by i m joggin on the spot only lor...
dis life is so stressful...in xchange for the momentary sweet happiness...ba...its the price to pay...
msg of the day:hu invented the word LOVE
ba...not goin to elaborate too muc abt it...anyways recently life is so rountine tt dere isnt muc to write abt...
but anyways...dis is sth tt i pondered abt yesterday...in sum pt or another of our life...we will meet ppl tt we dislik a lot...bcoz of wat dey did to us or the ppl ard us...i discriminate against dem too...till yesterday i was reminded of my philisophy...my perspective of life...when i was tokin to her yesterday...
we shldnt return deir "kindness" wit our "kindness"...we shld b true to ourselves n b nice...n wit time...dis ppl will feel guilty n change for the better on deir on...wldnt tt b better...
well...dis is onli wat i tink la...mayb u guys can tink abt it n tell mi ur comments...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
u no when ur com kana bug or wat...ur com will perform muc slower n hang/crash more often... i tink tt is the reason y i oso start to get probs wit myself too...i duno for sure...but i tink it shld b the reason...i m bugged...
one of the things tt bugs me...mayb i shldnt say bug...since its the path tt i chose to embark on...at the crossrds...i duno whether to go rite or left...n how muc to go...the worse is i dun even no wich is rite or left...
if i wan the answer...i onli hav to ask...but dis kind of things how to ask lor...sumtimes u tink tt it is suppose to b rite...den suddenly the signals ask u to go left...now i tink it has reached a pt where by i m joggin on the spot only lor...
dis life is so stressful...in xchange for the momentary sweet happiness...ba...its the price to pay...
msg of the day:hu invented the word LOVE
06 January 2006
ugliness of humanity
this few day go office normally do the same things la...updatin of files n shredin of files...its quite boring la...but at least got sth to do liao...better den last week...now still early...so decided to blog in my notebk...
dis few days took bus wit the sch crowd since sch reopen le...standin is one thing...hearin the complainin n kpin of the other passengers is worse...sum of the adults were lik complainin tt sch kids r so selfish...wich i feel tt its true...tho i m no longer a student anymore...at least for now la...but den it is veri sadenin...if it was my ginas ar...i will scold dem until no tml ar...but i guess i hav to hav faith in dem ba...but after so mani disappointin events...its hard to hav high hopes...
tok so muc abt selfish kids n fiery adults...i realli tink tt humans r so horrible...at least i no i hav consious n will feel guilty if i do horrible deeds...i hope dose ppl hav dem too...lik tt dey wun b as ugly as i say dey r...
sometimes i realli feel tt sum ppl dun hav consious at all one lor...not tryin to pin-pt at anyone la...but it is gettin too extreme lor...mayb i shld giv my ginas abit more credit...since dey r doin slightly better la...
lets hope the ugliness of humanity doesnt get worse den dis...coz i m gettin sick of it...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
well...i tink zhenyu is rite...i m gettin easily agitated recently...reason i duno...mayb its all the changes...omg...wheres the security...zzz...
the fear of the unknown is so bullshit...i wan answers...y r chances not given...i m not perfect...i no...but m i still not gd enuff...gettin veri tired of everything...zzz...buring out liao...need help...zzz...
msg of the day:is now enuff?
dis few days took bus wit the sch crowd since sch reopen le...standin is one thing...hearin the complainin n kpin of the other passengers is worse...sum of the adults were lik complainin tt sch kids r so selfish...wich i feel tt its true...tho i m no longer a student anymore...at least for now la...but den it is veri sadenin...if it was my ginas ar...i will scold dem until no tml ar...but i guess i hav to hav faith in dem ba...but after so mani disappointin events...its hard to hav high hopes...
tok so muc abt selfish kids n fiery adults...i realli tink tt humans r so horrible...at least i no i hav consious n will feel guilty if i do horrible deeds...i hope dose ppl hav dem too...lik tt dey wun b as ugly as i say dey r...
sometimes i realli feel tt sum ppl dun hav consious at all one lor...not tryin to pin-pt at anyone la...but it is gettin too extreme lor...mayb i shld giv my ginas abit more credit...since dey r doin slightly better la...
lets hope the ugliness of humanity doesnt get worse den dis...coz i m gettin sick of it...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
well...i tink zhenyu is rite...i m gettin easily agitated recently...reason i duno...mayb its all the changes...omg...wheres the security...zzz...
the fear of the unknown is so bullshit...i wan answers...y r chances not given...i m not perfect...i no...but m i still not gd enuff...gettin veri tired of everything...zzz...buring out liao...need help...zzz...
msg of the day:is now enuff?
01 January 2006
memory path...
lol...another interestin bloggin spot... lol...now in zhenyu house...bloggin...omg...i feel so loser...but i realli feel a need to la...if not i not song ar...or rather i shld say not happi...but anyway juz a brief tok abt my mood currently...
i duno y i feel so fucked up now la...all the f word comin out of my mouth...tolerance is veri minimal...bloody hell la...i dam sianz now...tts the reason i wan to blog at dis weird moment...i mean today is suppose to b here for countdown party...but here i m bloggin...zzz...
anyway the bulk of the topic not abt how n y i feel the way i feel now...so dun wori... coz i m not goin to bore u ppl wit all the boring stuff...so dun wori....haha...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
well... i duno how u guys judge mi as a person la...how muc i impacted ur live...dose arent impt...at least not in dis entry...but seriously...i muz muz muz show sincerity to dose hu r key in changin my life...i duno y la...but i hav the urge write dis at dis pt of time...
lets start from the earliest n till now...
Mr Low & Mdm See-well dis 2 teachers r the first ppl to build my confidence as a young adult....now a man...realli...w/o dem i duno when will i mature judgin from how i was back den...not onli did dey build up my confidence...dey also taught mi values n purposes of life tt my parents were unable to instill in mi due to deir tight workin shedule...MOST IMPTLY dey were the ones hu lead mi to the turnin pt in my life...to the path of GA...
Destiny-well she was the first to try to make mi bcome more optimistic from the veri pessimistic n paranoid mi in the past...altho our close relationship didnt last veri long...but i appreciate her effort...coz she realli helped mi...
My mother-u guys mu b wonderin y her rankin is onli the third one...well to say the truth...she onli realli stepped into my life onli in my upper sec sch years...rather sad...but i still feel tt its better late den nv rite...so lik tt lor...altho dere r a lot of things she duno n cant help...but its oredi veri sufficient to hav her moral support...she is always dere...all i need to do is to ask onli...
Flybell-she was the first one hu appreciated my efforts for her n as well as the rest of the team N voiced it out...instead of juz a silent awknowlegdement...it realli touched mi...she cldnt blive how grateful i was for juz appreciating my efforts...
Ker-she was one of dose hu was rather updated to my shedule...den always nag mi to slp early n wat not...so tt i cld keep up wit my sheldule...well...if u ask mi...i realli feel touch by dis kind of small things...so i shld say she realli cares...
Fate-another one hu cared for mi a lot...but she realli goes to the fine details lor...veri touchin...makes mi feel impt...especially the period when i juz realise i got spine prob...n had to go physio...she was the onli one hu cared enuff to ask abt it everytime...n was considerate enuff to tink of my back when we go out...even my mother oso not so carin to dis extent lor...tts pretty much one of the main reasons y i m so in love wit her...but haiz... all is not to b...
anyway juz to reemphasize...dis ppl r onli SOME of dose hu made a veri big impact to my life...n shape my life into how it is now la...so tho the paras r short...but i m sure u guys can feel the the feelin i tryin to send across wit dis entry...so ya lor...
PS:i no i hav 10 dis ppl a time too mani...but hu say 10q cant say extra leh...so ya...thanks a lot...
msg of the day:sth r meant to b felt, not to b seen,written or heard...
i duno y i feel so fucked up now la...all the f word comin out of my mouth...tolerance is veri minimal...bloody hell la...i dam sianz now...tts the reason i wan to blog at dis weird moment...i mean today is suppose to b here for countdown party...but here i m bloggin...zzz...
anyway the bulk of the topic not abt how n y i feel the way i feel now...so dun wori... coz i m not goin to bore u ppl wit all the boring stuff...so dun wori....haha...
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24hrGA
~~~~~~
well... i duno how u guys judge mi as a person la...how muc i impacted ur live...dose arent impt...at least not in dis entry...but seriously...i muz muz muz show sincerity to dose hu r key in changin my life...i duno y la...but i hav the urge write dis at dis pt of time...
lets start from the earliest n till now...
Mr Low & Mdm See-well dis 2 teachers r the first ppl to build my confidence as a young adult....now a man...realli...w/o dem i duno when will i mature judgin from how i was back den...not onli did dey build up my confidence...dey also taught mi values n purposes of life tt my parents were unable to instill in mi due to deir tight workin shedule...MOST IMPTLY dey were the ones hu lead mi to the turnin pt in my life...to the path of GA...
Destiny-well she was the first to try to make mi bcome more optimistic from the veri pessimistic n paranoid mi in the past...altho our close relationship didnt last veri long...but i appreciate her effort...coz she realli helped mi...
My mother-u guys mu b wonderin y her rankin is onli the third one...well to say the truth...she onli realli stepped into my life onli in my upper sec sch years...rather sad...but i still feel tt its better late den nv rite...so lik tt lor...altho dere r a lot of things she duno n cant help...but its oredi veri sufficient to hav her moral support...she is always dere...all i need to do is to ask onli...
Flybell-she was the first one hu appreciated my efforts for her n as well as the rest of the team N voiced it out...instead of juz a silent awknowlegdement...it realli touched mi...she cldnt blive how grateful i was for juz appreciating my efforts...
Ker-she was one of dose hu was rather updated to my shedule...den always nag mi to slp early n wat not...so tt i cld keep up wit my sheldule...well...if u ask mi...i realli feel touch by dis kind of small things...so i shld say she realli cares...
Fate-another one hu cared for mi a lot...but she realli goes to the fine details lor...veri touchin...makes mi feel impt...especially the period when i juz realise i got spine prob...n had to go physio...she was the onli one hu cared enuff to ask abt it everytime...n was considerate enuff to tink of my back when we go out...even my mother oso not so carin to dis extent lor...tts pretty much one of the main reasons y i m so in love wit her...but haiz... all is not to b...
anyway juz to reemphasize...dis ppl r onli SOME of dose hu made a veri big impact to my life...n shape my life into how it is now la...so tho the paras r short...but i m sure u guys can feel the the feelin i tryin to send across wit dis entry...so ya lor...
PS:i no i hav 10 dis ppl a time too mani...but hu say 10q cant say extra leh...so ya...thanks a lot...
msg of the day:sth r meant to b felt, not to b seen,written or heard...
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