Reminder:Wake up this Xmas and don't fall asleep again.
~ Life has to end. Love doesn’t. ~
24 December 2007
Awaking Xmas
Well, its Xmas again. I wonder what did I do for last year's Xmas, can't remember. This year from the looks of it I should be spending it alone. How long is this going to last?
Reminder:Wake up this Xmas and don't fall asleep again.
Reminder:Wake up this Xmas and don't fall asleep again.
23 December 2007
Job Hunt
Hey people, as you guys all know that I just ORDed, so now I am looking for people to tutor. I have already registered as a relief teacher, but since I will be the ad-hoc(on need basis) kind of relief teaching, I will have a lot of time on hand. So, please let me know if you know anyone who needs tuition. I don't mind charging slightly below market rate and I am willing to teach any subject for secondary school and below other then Biology & History(cause I never study them). However, I prefer to teach maths or chemistry if teaching secondary school student.
If you guys got other job offers, also welcome to let me know. But, I prefer to take jobs that would not clash with my relief teaching, unless the job offer is very good and allows me to learn things that I am interested in.
Thanks in advance.
If you guys got other job offers, also welcome to let me know. But, I prefer to take jobs that would not clash with my relief teaching, unless the job offer is very good and allows me to learn things that I am interested in.
Thanks in advance.
18 December 2007
ORD lo!
My perm. pass+11B+2years=
My pink IC+ORD lo!
Today is my ORD day, finally my 2years of NS has ended. Actually it wasn't as exciting as I expected it to be, maybe its because there was too much anticipation. But, it still feels good to have my "pinky" back. Woo...ORD lo!
I made a lot of friends during my 2years and I know I will surely miss them.
I made a lot of friends during my 2years and I know I will surely miss them.
Probably the last time I will wear this uniform.
16 December 2007
Nostalgic
Yesterday, had a short chat with Michelle. From the conversation, I had a lot of feelings and views about the topic. Haiz...I don't know whether to feel disappointed or sad or what. Why is this even happening?
Shit!I tried so hard to rid of that feeling, yet it is coming back again.Anyway, I just realised that I have been blogging A LOT more.LOL.
15 December 2007
The project
This was taken at the borders bistro fountain.This marks the beginning of The project.Want to know what it is about?Stay tune for more posts!
Alvin & the chipmunks
After yesterday's movie, I used some time left from fiddling my handphone to Google on the movie and managed to find this: Alvin & the chipmunks
Seriously, I think the movie version is much better or maybe its just me. I am still thinking whether I should buy the OST.
Added:
Ok, I managed to "get" the OST in 3minutes flat. Now, I am listening to it. I can't believe myself. LOL!
Seriously, I think the movie version is much better or maybe its just me. I am still thinking whether I should buy the OST.
Added:
Ok, I managed to "get" the OST in 3minutes flat. Now, I am listening to it. I can't believe myself. LOL!
300kb/s!Woo!
14 December 2007
First mobile blogging
My wing gundam perfect grade(my 19th birthday gift) and my monster hunter 2 weapon collection.
13 December 2007
Take out the trash
Finally, after the long wait, its here. My w910i is finally here and I am already using it with my own ringtones. And to add to the happiness, I am down to my last day on Tuesday. ORD lo!
This is such irony. One moment I was reaching threshold, the next I already emptied the trash. Finally, I was able to explore new territory when I decided to cut the red tape. Woo...
Just came back from a dinner at the movie with meifang. Watched Alvin and the chipmunks while savoring our subway sandwiches. It may not be the best movie there is, but still it was a good laugh. Funny enough to kick away a lot of bad mood days. The day was very full of coincidences, cause we bumped into meifen and her boyfriend two times. Once was when we going for dinner and the other was when I was sending meifang home. Somehow the goodbyes was a bit weird with the four of us there.
Sounds Good
I don't know what it means, but it definitely sounds good!
I know I am being very "ku niang" about it, but it definitely sounds good!
Woo...!
I know I am being very "ku niang" about it, but it definitely sounds good!
Woo...!
10 December 2007
09 December 2007
Feels good
Yesterday was a great day. As anticipated, Anyhow Art! ended with a bang, I am quite sure everyone enjoyed themselves. Good job everyone.
After the event, we went to celebrate Zhenyu's birthday. We had dinner at Breko(Bugis), then went to a newly opened KTV opposite Bugis Junction. The place quite cool but the price was a bit steep though. I had to leave early to settle some NDP stuff for Mr Low, but come home to realize that Wei Hong didn't send the document to me. Oh well.
I am almost at threshold, but that familiar touch soothes the wound.
It is good to know that I have people to fall back on.
After the event, we went to celebrate Zhenyu's birthday. We had dinner at Breko(Bugis), then went to a newly opened KTV opposite Bugis Junction. The place quite cool but the price was a bit steep though. I had to leave early to settle some NDP stuff for Mr Low, but come home to realize that Wei Hong didn't send the document to me. Oh well.
I am almost at threshold, but that familiar touch soothes the wound.
It is good to know that I have people to fall back on.
08 December 2007
Anyhow Art! '07
In another 19h or so, will finally be the long anticipated Anyhow Art! '07. I am feeling quite excited because of a few reasons.
Firstly, this is the first time my colleagues from APD are coming to support me. Although, it maybe very awkward since I will be half-naked(I think), still I free really very happy. 9/40 out of my tickets were bought by them.
Secondly, I am truly enjoying the process of the whole event. I mean you guys have to understand that it is not every event that we LAD(Mr Low and Dancers) do is "fun" if you get what I mean. This should be the way. Haha. I just love it when everyone is chipping in, although maybe small contributions, its just a very good display of teamwork taking place.
Thirdly, ... ok, I can't think of a third reason. But, I guess the whole experience would be better if I didn't fall sick on Thursday and sad to say I still am. Hopefully, I will recover by tomorrow.
Anyway, I received a call from Singtel this morning and finally confirm my w910i is coming on Thursday. Finally, a camera phone!!!Woo...No more auto shutdowns and crappy ringtones.
永远的信徒，死了都要爱。
Firstly, this is the first time my colleagues from APD are coming to support me. Although, it maybe very awkward since I will be half-naked(I think), still I free really very happy. 9/40 out of my tickets were bought by them.
Secondly, I am truly enjoying the process of the whole event. I mean you guys have to understand that it is not every event that we LAD(Mr Low and Dancers) do is "fun" if you get what I mean. This should be the way. Haha. I just love it when everyone is chipping in, although maybe small contributions, its just a very good display of teamwork taking place.
Thirdly, ... ok, I can't think of a third reason. But, I guess the whole experience would be better if I didn't fall sick on Thursday and sad to say I still am. Hopefully, I will recover by tomorrow.
Anyway, I received a call from Singtel this morning and finally confirm my w910i is coming on Thursday. Finally, a camera phone!!!Woo...No more auto shutdowns and crappy ringtones.
永远的信徒，死了都要爱。
06 December 2007
Stop and Focus
Tomorrow is another long day, so I am keeping this short and going to sleep.
Tomorrow morning need to hold the first lesson of my leadership workshop since the one in July last year. Feeling a bit rusty, hopefully still can deliver.
I am going to get my new handphone on Monday morning(Hopefully). I decided to go for w910i instead of w960i, because w960i is still not listed in the shops yet and also since it just arrived in Singapore(Yes, it arrived today.), its going to be very expensive. At the moment w910i with plan is $268+(from the initial $400+ when it first came out) and its only out for about a month or so only.
3 more working days and I am done with NS. Woo...
Stop thinking about it! Its not going to happen and we all know it. You need to focus on the road ahead. You are not going to move if you are going to leave your handbrake on.
Do yourself a favor, get moving.
Tomorrow morning need to hold the first lesson of my leadership workshop since the one in July last year. Feeling a bit rusty, hopefully still can deliver.
I am going to get my new handphone on Monday morning(Hopefully). I decided to go for w910i instead of w960i, because w960i is still not listed in the shops yet and also since it just arrived in Singapore(Yes, it arrived today.), its going to be very expensive. At the moment w910i with plan is $268+(from the initial $400+ when it first came out) and its only out for about a month or so only.
3 more working days and I am done with NS. Woo...
Stop thinking about it! Its not going to happen and we all know it. You need to focus on the road ahead. You are not going to move if you are going to leave your handbrake on.
Do yourself a favor, get moving.
04 December 2007
Stupid Unlimited
Just came back from driving lesson and I am feeling totally exhausted. But, that lesson was totally the most humiliating lesson ever.
Instructor:You have to stop the car with your shoulders aligned with about 2 and a half markings away from the front curb. Then, you turn full lock to your right as you reverse.
Sam:Ok.
Instructor:Now you try.
Sam tries to align the car as instructed and started to signal to turn.
Instructor:Wait, put the car into neutral gear.
Instructor got down the car and asked Sam to wind down the window from the driver's side of the curb.
Instructor:Where is your shoulder aligned to?
Sam checks.
Sam:2 and 3/4 markings.
Instructor:And where are you suppose to stop? 2 and 1/2 markings right? Never mind, now show me 2 and 1/2 markings.
Sam didn't know what the instructor meant. Then, decided to lean forward and align with 2 and 1/2 markings.
Instructor:-_-" You are suppose to move the car!
Enough said. Either I am stupid unlimited or instruction was just not very clear. But, I guess leaning forward should still be the last that should come to my mind. Haiz...
Recently, I am just not concentrating on the things that I am doing. Maybe its because I am too preoccupied.
Yesterday was another sleepless night. My carving for company is growing yet stronger. I need to focus!
Instructor:You have to stop the car with your shoulders aligned with about 2 and a half markings away from the front curb. Then, you turn full lock to your right as you reverse.
Sam:Ok.
Instructor:Now you try.
Sam tries to align the car as instructed and started to signal to turn.
Instructor:Wait, put the car into neutral gear.
Instructor got down the car and asked Sam to wind down the window from the driver's side of the curb.
Instructor:Where is your shoulder aligned to?
Sam checks.
Sam:2 and 3/4 markings.
Instructor:And where are you suppose to stop? 2 and 1/2 markings right? Never mind, now show me 2 and 1/2 markings.
Sam didn't know what the instructor meant. Then, decided to lean forward and align with 2 and 1/2 markings.
Instructor:-_-" You are suppose to move the car!
Enough said. Either I am stupid unlimited or instruction was just not very clear. But, I guess leaning forward should still be the last that should come to my mind. Haiz...
Recently, I am just not concentrating on the things that I am doing. Maybe its because I am too preoccupied.
Yesterday was another sleepless night. My carving for company is growing yet stronger. I need to focus!
03 December 2007
The world is spinning
Just had a camp over the weekend, followed by dance practice. I am totally wiped out. Really very tired. Especially my legs, the thought having to walk another distance really kills the mood. To make things worse, tomorrow and Wednesday I have driving, Wednesday got Chingay after driving then finally followed by 2 days of Anyhow Art! rehearsles and the actual day is this Saturday. I don't think I am going to get much rest. Luckily, I am clearing leave now so only need to go back for 3 more Tuesdays and 2 more Wednesdays. ORD lo!
The camp was quite an experience. Despite the fact that the average of the campers are like 16 and below, I still manage to enjoy myself. I was quite fun and I felt like a kid again. I finally got to know more of the kids, at least now I can refer to most of them by name, instead of "xiao mei mei" or "xiao di di".
The guardian angel game was quite fun. My angel was really nice, giving me food and drinks when I whine about being hungry. What a lazy bum! =P Haha. But, she was really sweet. But, I feel so guilty for not believing her initially that I didn't believe her when she said that she is my angel. I mean I didn't expect your angel would walk up to you and say, "Hey, I am your angel." You guys know what I mean. And also felt very apologetic about the racket I contributed to on the last night. But so much said, I think she still deserve another round of thank you. Thanks Lu Khei. ;)
Well, about my mortal, who is Jacqueline from Mayflower, she initially didn't know that I was her angel until Ly Ee gave her a very big hint. Jacqueline actually thought that her angel was Kai Wei, then Jeff and finally Mao Rong. She was rather convince that Mao Rong was the correct one, since he was always at the "scene of crime". Haha. But, really doesn't matter, cause I feel that being nice to someone whether with that person knowing or not is not important.
Despite the multiple injuries and aches that I had accumulated during the camp, I am glad I went for the camp. Although, it was not the perfect escape, it was a break from reality.
I wearily walked up to the door and turned the knob. The pitch dark room seemed like what would have been a never ending hallway. The door closed behind me and the dim lights came on to reveal a small room walled with mirrors. The room started to spin or was it me? Everything was a dazzle, things started to get blurry until when finally the spinning stopped. I realized that I wasn't seeing reflections that was supposed to be seen but reflections from my mind. Different images appear on each panel and soon they started to animate as if the mirror was the television screen. The volume got louder and louder and the spinning started again.
*Crash* System Error! Please try again...
The camp was quite an experience. Despite the fact that the average of the campers are like 16 and below, I still manage to enjoy myself. I was quite fun and I felt like a kid again. I finally got to know more of the kids, at least now I can refer to most of them by name, instead of "xiao mei mei" or "xiao di di".
The guardian angel game was quite fun. My angel was really nice, giving me food and drinks when I whine about being hungry. What a lazy bum! =P Haha. But, she was really sweet. But, I feel so guilty for not believing her initially that I didn't believe her when she said that she is my angel. I mean I didn't expect your angel would walk up to you and say, "Hey, I am your angel." You guys know what I mean. And also felt very apologetic about the racket I contributed to on the last night. But so much said, I think she still deserve another round of thank you. Thanks Lu Khei. ;)
Well, about my mortal, who is Jacqueline from Mayflower, she initially didn't know that I was her angel until Ly Ee gave her a very big hint. Jacqueline actually thought that her angel was Kai Wei, then Jeff and finally Mao Rong. She was rather convince that Mao Rong was the correct one, since he was always at the "scene of crime". Haha. But, really doesn't matter, cause I feel that being nice to someone whether with that person knowing or not is not important.
Despite the multiple injuries and aches that I had accumulated during the camp, I am glad I went for the camp. Although, it was not the perfect escape, it was a break from reality.
I wearily walked up to the door and turned the knob. The pitch dark room seemed like what would have been a never ending hallway. The door closed behind me and the dim lights came on to reveal a small room walled with mirrors. The room started to spin or was it me? Everything was a dazzle, things started to get blurry until when finally the spinning stopped. I realized that I wasn't seeing reflections that was supposed to be seen but reflections from my mind. Different images appear on each panel and soon they started to animate as if the mirror was the television screen. The volume got louder and louder and the spinning started again.
*Crash* System Error! Please try again...
25 November 2007
Hmm...
Just got home not long ago from dance practice. I am so tired. Anyhow Art! is coming soon quite a lot of people coming to support me. Ok, maybe not a lot, just more than the past performances. Quite sad actually if you come to think of it. Haha.
9 more working days to ORD! Finally, the end is coming after serving the nation for 2 years. Although, I might not have learned any combat knowledge, at least I got to experience office work and the ugly side of office politics.
I got my provisional approval as a relief teacher and also left my name with Nan Hua. Thinking about it gives me some mixed feelings.
Today, got feeling a bit weird. I also don't know why. Haiz... I shouldn't give too much meaning to it.
Coincidence? Could it be of any meaning?Well, should be better to let nature take its course.
9 more working days to ORD! Finally, the end is coming after serving the nation for 2 years. Although, I might not have learned any combat knowledge, at least I got to experience office work and the ugly side of office politics.
I got my provisional approval as a relief teacher and also left my name with Nan Hua. Thinking about it gives me some mixed feelings.
Today, got feeling a bit weird. I also don't know why. Haiz... I shouldn't give too much meaning to it.
Coincidence? Could it be of any meaning?Well, should be better to let nature take its course.
16 November 2007
The Truth
Finally, today I got to know the truth. Ok, maybe part of it, but I get the picture. I feel a bit "floaty" from the alcohol, but I guess I should get this over and done with. Hopefully, I can close and bury everything with this entry tonight.
Finally, I get to read the torn pages. But, whether the twist was intention a not, it is unexpected whether I wish to accept it a not. Now, I should not and hopefully will not try to judge whether the twist was intentional a not.
But, despite the disappointing ending, I have to admit that the story was a great one. I sincere think so and wish to remain thinking that way. Although, it turned out to be more like a modern fairytale, it was still enjoyable. During the period, when I was reading it, at least.
Be it whether there would be a sequel, related to the first book or not, I hope that I would not compare or judge the second one through the feelings towards the first one.
Now that my carving to know the missing chapter is satisfied, I should move on, to hopefully the next book. Hopefully an even better one. I hope.
Anyway, thanks to people who were present today, for giving me the concern and company. I am fine. But, of course, my emotions may continue to fluctuate, so do give me time. But, trust me, it was not a wrong decision to know the truth. At least now, I can move on whether not knowing what had happened.
Sorry if I spoiled the night for any of you. I just couldn't help myself.
Jie yim - I think you got scared pretty bad for that short period. Don't worry. I am fine(will be). I think you will get to see more of the my other scarier side as we continue to help "Mr Low & dancers" grow. But, let's not allow this to be of hindrance to our progress, "jia you ba".
Finally, I get to read the torn pages. But, whether the twist was intention a not, it is unexpected whether I wish to accept it a not. Now, I should not and hopefully will not try to judge whether the twist was intentional a not.
But, despite the disappointing ending, I have to admit that the story was a great one. I sincere think so and wish to remain thinking that way. Although, it turned out to be more like a modern fairytale, it was still enjoyable. During the period, when I was reading it, at least.
Be it whether there would be a sequel, related to the first book or not, I hope that I would not compare or judge the second one through the feelings towards the first one.
Now that my carving to know the missing chapter is satisfied, I should move on, to hopefully the next book. Hopefully an even better one. I hope.
Anyway, thanks to people who were present today, for giving me the concern and company. I am fine. But, of course, my emotions may continue to fluctuate, so do give me time. But, trust me, it was not a wrong decision to know the truth. At least now, I can move on whether not knowing what had happened.
Sorry if I spoiled the night for any of you. I just couldn't help myself.
Jie yim - I think you got scared pretty bad for that short period. Don't worry. I am fine(will be). I think you will get to see more of the my other scarier side as we continue to help "Mr Low & dancers" grow. But, let's not allow this to be of hindrance to our progress, "jia you ba".
12 November 2007
Haunting past
Why when I haven't recover from the previous blow, another blow has to follow so close? I know its just childish comments, but it just brings back the haunting past.
Its not that I regret what I decided, just that I feel that we are all better off not walking backwards.
Maybe its not the comments, maybe its just the memories. As sweet as it may taste, it just hurts a whole deal more.
Why can't the past leave me alone? I can't sleep. Its coming back.
Fucking shit! Who am I kidding? I can't take it anymore.
Its not that I regret what I decided, just that I feel that we are all better off not walking backwards.
Maybe its not the comments, maybe its just the memories. As sweet as it may taste, it just hurts a whole deal more.
Why can't the past leave me alone? I can't sleep. Its coming back.
Fucking shit! Who am I kidding? I can't take it anymore.
scar
This entry was supposed to be last week, but I guess I was either too lazy or not 'emo' enough to blog. But, don't mistaken me, I am by no means 'emo' at the moment. Just that I feel that I should blog it down and since I have some time before I go for breakfast, so why not?
I didn't know how I was vulnerable until last week. Its amazing what just one word can do let alone a whole string of them. Its just a killer. The impact left me straggling to keep focus for the rest of the week, I was too preoccupied. All that I could turn to for distraction was games and sleep and when distractions took the side bench it just starts all over again.
All along I thought that it was just a wound, but I guess it was nothing less than a scar. A scar for life. A scar that whenever I see, I will be reminded of the regrets that are buried deep within. Regrets are just such tortures. Although I try to live without them, I just can't seem to escape the destiny of feeling regretful.
To top everything off with salt, Saturday was a killer. I was 'noobified' and ended eating Subway at home. The pain just gets amplified.
I realised that sometimes its not that people don't understand us, rather more of us not expressing ourselves more. People don't know psychic, even couples has to depend on their gut feeling.
Hope is coming. Maybe, just maybe, the scar might fade away.
I didn't know how I was vulnerable until last week. Its amazing what just one word can do let alone a whole string of them. Its just a killer. The impact left me straggling to keep focus for the rest of the week, I was too preoccupied. All that I could turn to for distraction was games and sleep and when distractions took the side bench it just starts all over again.
All along I thought that it was just a wound, but I guess it was nothing less than a scar. A scar for life. A scar that whenever I see, I will be reminded of the regrets that are buried deep within. Regrets are just such tortures. Although I try to live without them, I just can't seem to escape the destiny of feeling regretful.
To top everything off with salt, Saturday was a killer. I was 'noobified' and ended eating Subway at home. The pain just gets amplified.
I realised that sometimes its not that people don't understand us, rather more of us not expressing ourselves more. People don't know psychic, even couples has to depend on their gut feeling.
Hope is coming. Maybe, just maybe, the scar might fade away.
08 October 2007
Locked in the cells of memories
黑夜将城市笼罩 想念蔓延在细胞
想妳的拥抱 妳的微笑 想到快要疯掉
爱妳到莫名其妙 上了瘾无可救药
没有妳 会死掉
我不再开心的笑 痛苦在胸口燃烧
在妳离开以后 寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告 才掉进妳的圈套
现在知道 却放不掉 世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对妳的依靠
我不再开心的笑 痛苦在胸口燃烧
在妳离开以后 寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告 才掉进妳的圈套
现在知道 却放不掉 世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对妳的依靠
就是戒不掉妳对我的好
The show came to an end， together with my dose of anesthetizer.
The addiction is as strong as the void in every lonely evening.
想妳的拥抱 妳的微笑 想到快要疯掉
爱妳到莫名其妙 上了瘾无可救药
没有妳 会死掉
我不再开心的笑 痛苦在胸口燃烧
在妳离开以后 寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告 才掉进妳的圈套
现在知道 却放不掉 世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对妳的依靠
我不再开心的笑 痛苦在胸口燃烧
在妳离开以后 寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告 才掉进妳的圈套
现在知道 却放不掉 世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对妳的依靠
就是戒不掉妳对我的好
The show came to an end， together with my dose of anesthetizer.
The addiction is as strong as the void in every lonely evening.
01 October 2007
Refuge
Am I nothing but a refugee camp?
Or even a hotel?
Time was unfreezed that night. Hopefully, it would stay this way.
However much I wish to keep it the way it was, it would never let me.
Its just so ironic. They don't need me, yet they do.
What do you want of me?
I am tired of this guessing game.
Or even a hotel?
Time was unfreezed that night. Hopefully, it would stay this way.
However much I wish to keep it the way it was, it would never let me.
Its just so ironic. They don't need me, yet they do.
What do you want of me?
I am tired of this guessing game.
Tomorrow will mark 78 absolute days left in the service. I am starting to give some serious thought to what I want to do before I go into my studies. If anyone got any job offers for the next half year can let me know. Anyway, I might not go into teaching afterall, was thinking of counseling. But, I still thinking about it.
Have you ever had the urge of picking up your phone to call someone, to share your joy or sadness if otherwise? But, what if you don't have someone that you could call?
Have you ever had the urge of picking up your phone to call someone, to share your joy or sadness if otherwise? But, what if you don't have someone that you could call?
18 September 2007
stuck in time
It was never meant to be, but I took the brainless dive.
I knocked my head, killing all sense.
When consciousness finally found me, I was already in no-man's land.
Blinded by the flashes of bombardment, I fell onto my knees.
Lost in the world of darkness, all I could see was my bleeding heart.
I felt nothing, but my weary limbs.
My ears strained to listen, only to hear the fading enemy footsteps.
Is this the end?My end?
Clocks started to fill my mind, hands wiping back and forth.
My world starts spinning, like the hands on the face of the clocks.
Suddenly, episodes start to play on the walls of emptiness.
Playing and rewinding, as if synchronized with the winding clocks.
Doomed in chronosphere, stuck in time.
Tortured for eternity, until my savior comes to my aid.
When will my time come? When will light shine through?
Time and darkness, my ultimate weakness.
I knocked my head, killing all sense.
When consciousness finally found me, I was already in no-man's land.
Blinded by the flashes of bombardment, I fell onto my knees.
Lost in the world of darkness, all I could see was my bleeding heart.
I felt nothing, but my weary limbs.
My ears strained to listen, only to hear the fading enemy footsteps.
Is this the end?My end?
Clocks started to fill my mind, hands wiping back and forth.
My world starts spinning, like the hands on the face of the clocks.
Suddenly, episodes start to play on the walls of emptiness.
Playing and rewinding, as if synchronized with the winding clocks.
Doomed in chronosphere, stuck in time.
Tortured for eternity, until my savior comes to my aid.
When will my time come? When will light shine through?
Time and darkness, my ultimate weakness.
16 September 2007
monotonous
Since so many people are pestering me for an entry, I shall write one today since I don't feel like doing other things.
Nothing much has happened since my last update. The problems that I was facing faded off, maybe.
Then, zhenyu, zhiyan and me are going to phuket in October. I am really looking forward to the trip(although, water activity has never been on my to do list), because it is going to be a fresh experience. As zhenyu always say, I am very "shuan ku".
One last thing that happened and is worth mentioning is that my officers wrote me a recommendation letter to promote me to corporal first class(a newly implemented rank). To me, the rank and money($80 in total) is not very important. So, I didn't really bother about it and would not have much of a reaction to know that I will be getting it. But, what is the big deal(at least I feel so) is that my officers instead of just going through the normal paper work went an extra mile by typing a letter to attach on to my application and the most power thing is that the person who sign is my boss who happens to be the deputy head of department. I am just so touched, I didn't do the wrong thing to go all out to help them.
Sometimes putting in effort is not enough, meeting the right people is also essential.
I don't know since when did my life become so monotonous. There is seriously nothing happening going on as the above would suggest. Its rather sad if you ask me. Its just so boring.
Its so ironic.When you are being bothered by things(be it good or bad), sometimes you wish that it would just go away(only applies to bad, I think). But, when it really does, your life just becomes boring.
I am not trying to ask for trouble or problems. But, it feels so meaningless to not have a purpose or at least a goal. So, actually being in love is sometimes a good thing(regardless of what kind of love), at least there is something to think about, look forward to and be hopefully about.
Sometimes I just look back and wonder what is this all about.
Looking at the past, the present and the future, I just end up with doubt.
Anyway sometime this week, I randomly recalled two very sweet things that my dear god sister, mich did for me.
1)During some dance practice, I was down with a fever and she actually sat there to deb my forehead with a towel.
2)For my 20th birthday, she actually baked me cheesecake.
Yeah, its mushy stuff. But, I believe in saying it when you appreciate it(although sometimes I still don't). Of course, there are more things that she did, but there is no need to list them all out. In fact, many of you guys did sweet things for me(knowingly/unknowingly) and I still remember them(although there might still be some that I forgot). I maybe forgetful, but certain things I still remember down to the finest detail.
Life just couldn't be blue when you think of such stuff. Its just so...nice.
On a side note, I have people asking me before whether I got like mich before. Well, surprisingly no. Yeah, shes nice and all(mich don't fly too high...haha...), but I guess this is what people mean when they say "bu lai dian". Although, I would really happy if I were to really have a real sister like her.
Ok...that was a rather long entry. To end the entry off I will post a question to you guys, hope that maybe one of you might know what its about. From time to time, I will feel numbness in my fingertips. Any idea why this happens?
Nothing much has happened since my last update. The problems that I was facing faded off, maybe.
Then, zhenyu, zhiyan and me are going to phuket in October. I am really looking forward to the trip(although, water activity has never been on my to do list), because it is going to be a fresh experience. As zhenyu always say, I am very "shuan ku".
One last thing that happened and is worth mentioning is that my officers wrote me a recommendation letter to promote me to corporal first class(a newly implemented rank). To me, the rank and money($80 in total) is not very important. So, I didn't really bother about it and would not have much of a reaction to know that I will be getting it. But, what is the big deal(at least I feel so) is that my officers instead of just going through the normal paper work went an extra mile by typing a letter to attach on to my application and the most power thing is that the person who sign is my boss who happens to be the deputy head of department. I am just so touched, I didn't do the wrong thing to go all out to help them.
Sometimes putting in effort is not enough, meeting the right people is also essential.
I don't know since when did my life become so monotonous. There is seriously nothing happening going on as the above would suggest. Its rather sad if you ask me. Its just so boring.
Its so ironic.When you are being bothered by things(be it good or bad), sometimes you wish that it would just go away(only applies to bad, I think). But, when it really does, your life just becomes boring.
I am not trying to ask for trouble or problems. But, it feels so meaningless to not have a purpose or at least a goal. So, actually being in love is sometimes a good thing(regardless of what kind of love), at least there is something to think about, look forward to and be hopefully about.
Sometimes I just look back and wonder what is this all about.
Looking at the past, the present and the future, I just end up with doubt.
Anyway sometime this week, I randomly recalled two very sweet things that my dear god sister, mich did for me.
1)During some dance practice, I was down with a fever and she actually sat there to deb my forehead with a towel.
2)For my 20th birthday, she actually baked me cheesecake.
Yeah, its mushy stuff. But, I believe in saying it when you appreciate it(although sometimes I still don't). Of course, there are more things that she did, but there is no need to list them all out. In fact, many of you guys did sweet things for me(knowingly/unknowingly) and I still remember them(although there might still be some that I forgot). I maybe forgetful, but certain things I still remember down to the finest detail.
Life just couldn't be blue when you think of such stuff. Its just so...nice.
On a side note, I have people asking me before whether I got like mich before. Well, surprisingly no. Yeah, shes nice and all(mich don't fly too high...haha...), but I guess this is what people mean when they say "bu lai dian". Although, I would really happy if I were to really have a real sister like her.
Ok...that was a rather long entry. To end the entry off I will post a question to you guys, hope that maybe one of you might know what its about. From time to time, I will feel numbness in my fingertips. Any idea why this happens?
21 August 2007
Don't cross the line
Those who have knew me for a very long time should know that I can't stand being taken advantage of,(If I regard the situation as being taken advantage of) worse of all if you are doing it again and again.
Remember the time when Kai Wei got scammed into buying a beer that was wrongly priced. After understanding what happened I went to the manager and demanded a refund.
Well, although I am not as pissed now, I am MORE pissed than that time.
I can be Mr. Nice Guy, but I too also have limit. You don't control or own my life! So, stop dedicating my life. Don't take my kindness for granted. I don't wish to release THE devil.
I am just trying to be nice...
Remember the time when Kai Wei got scammed into buying a beer that was wrongly priced. After understanding what happened I went to the manager and demanded a refund.
Well, although I am not as pissed now, I am MORE pissed than that time.
I can be Mr. Nice Guy, but I too also have limit. You don't control or own my life! So, stop dedicating my life. Don't take my kindness for granted. I don't wish to release THE devil.
I am just trying to be nice...
15 August 2007
Shackled
I wanted to do this yesterday, but something cropped up(Although, I dreaded to attend to it, I had no choice.) and since today I don't feel sleepy(Well its still kind of early). So, I decided to blog today.
Firstly, to talk about what I have been up to since the last update.
1)NDP finally over. Phew. I have some mixed feelings with regards to close that chapter, but I guess I more or less covered that area in the previous entry. Anyways, I am still waiting for my off to come in(Joel supposed to send on Tuesday). Damn! Doesn't matter, I shall wait patiently. Zhenyu and Mao Rong, lets keep our fingers crossed. Haha.
2)Visited Meifang at her new place on Sat.(Today as well) I should say that it is a nice and cosy place place, other than the fact that there is a lack of certain furnitures(e.g. dining table, working washing machine). But, I guess it will serve its purposes. At her place, other then chatting with her during her occasional(After really very long) breaks, which she takes in between her mugging, basically I just sit there and do my own stuff(e.g. reading, psp, laptop - blogskin{Yes, I making a new one, but not much luck and inspiration.}, dota AI{abit loser}) Anyways, after my first visit, I have 2 conclusions. Firstly, is that it seriously can train my patience literally sitting there. Secondly, I have a freaking slow reading rate(I read about 80pages in about 6hours.-_-)
3)Facing a bit of problems. I can't really say here since my blog is accessible and known to the person involved. But, for those who guessed what I am referring to, you should know how stress I am, especially Zhi Yan and Mao Rong.
4)I have been doing some thinking(Ok, nothing new. Yet and again.) about some stuff.(Including point 3) I got myself into a state whereby I don't know whether what I should be feeling. Although, now I think I am feeling quite optimistic and happy in general, not sure whether it is genuine.
5)Finally, I finished watching both anime and drama version of GTO. Really very inspiration for teacher-wanna-bes. But, besides that it gave me a lot of other points to ponder about.(Ok, that brings me back to point 4) Maybe one day I can be GTS myself. Lol.
Ok, now to the main topic. Yesterday, Meifang called. She was crying and it was the worse I have encountered after knowing her so long. Well, the content was not much to worry about, cause it is pretty much settled, maybe it just hit her too hard and overwhelmed her. Anyway, the thing is this, although initially(for about 5-10minutes) not much talking took place, I really feel her pain(although at that point of time I still didn't know what happened). I guess this really explains the line "It breaks my heart to see you cry.". At that point, I had some mixed feelings, but of course I had to put them aside and try to help her out.
Things, as it is, are nice, I should say. But, let's just say I want to keep things the way they are for now.(Like what Zhenyu suggests) Things about the future shall be answered in the future.
Now, whats most important to me is to help her in any way possible to let her concentrate on her studies. After that, maybe try to look into the tougher problems.
PS: Meifang if you are reading this(I doubt so), please do not misunderstand me like you almost did the last time with your birthday card. ;)
Firstly, to talk about what I have been up to since the last update.
1)NDP finally over. Phew. I have some mixed feelings with regards to close that chapter, but I guess I more or less covered that area in the previous entry. Anyways, I am still waiting for my off to come in(Joel supposed to send on Tuesday). Damn! Doesn't matter, I shall wait patiently. Zhenyu and Mao Rong, lets keep our fingers crossed. Haha.
2)Visited Meifang at her new place on Sat.(Today as well) I should say that it is a nice and cosy place place, other than the fact that there is a lack of certain furnitures(e.g. dining table, working washing machine). But, I guess it will serve its purposes. At her place, other then chatting with her during her occasional(After really very long) breaks, which she takes in between her mugging, basically I just sit there and do my own stuff(e.g. reading, psp, laptop - blogskin{Yes, I making a new one, but not much luck and inspiration.}, dota AI{abit loser}) Anyways, after my first visit, I have 2 conclusions. Firstly, is that it seriously can train my patience literally sitting there. Secondly, I have a freaking slow reading rate(I read about 80pages in about 6hours.-_-)
3)Facing a bit of problems. I can't really say here since my blog is accessible and known to the person involved. But, for those who guessed what I am referring to, you should know how stress I am, especially Zhi Yan and Mao Rong.
4)I have been doing some thinking(Ok, nothing new. Yet and again.) about some stuff.(Including point 3) I got myself into a state whereby I don't know whether what I should be feeling. Although, now I think I am feeling quite optimistic and happy in general, not sure whether it is genuine.
5)Finally, I finished watching both anime and drama version of GTO. Really very inspiration for teacher-wanna-bes. But, besides that it gave me a lot of other points to ponder about.(Ok, that brings me back to point 4) Maybe one day I can be GTS myself. Lol.
Ok, now to the main topic. Yesterday, Meifang called. She was crying and it was the worse I have encountered after knowing her so long. Well, the content was not much to worry about, cause it is pretty much settled, maybe it just hit her too hard and overwhelmed her. Anyway, the thing is this, although initially(for about 5-10minutes) not much talking took place, I really feel her pain(although at that point of time I still didn't know what happened). I guess this really explains the line "It breaks my heart to see you cry.". At that point, I had some mixed feelings, but of course I had to put them aside and try to help her out.
Things, as it is, are nice, I should say. But, let's just say I want to keep things the way they are for now.(Like what Zhenyu suggests) Things about the future shall be answered in the future.
Now, whats most important to me is to help her in any way possible to let her concentrate on her studies. After that, maybe try to look into the tougher problems.
PS: Meifang if you are reading this(I doubt so), please do not misunderstand me like you almost did the last time with your birthday card. ;)
08 August 2007
Fullstop or continue?
Tomorrow will be the final show for NDP '07. I have to say I really don't like this year's show. This are the reasons why:
1)The school teachers are not of any help. Everything is thrown to army. Ok, maybe the admin part, thats about it.
2)Got a lot of problematic kids.
3)Much more politics within the show committee.
4)The parade lack the "Singapore" touch.
Of course, there are many more reasons as to why I don't like it. But on the contrary, some of the kids that I teach this year are very nice. Especially people from E5, so I guess at least there is something good. Tomorrow will most likely be the last day that I will be seeing this kids. I think I am going to miss them.
Of course, I can make an effort to keep in contact with them. But, I don't to be in a scenario whereby my effort is not appreciated. So, I guess I will leave it up to fate to decide whether its a fullstop or continue.
But of course, I didn't do nothing at all, I prepared a card for each of them as a souvenir. Whatever follows is up to the strength of bond that was created during this short 4 months.
This is not by chance, this is FATE.
1)The school teachers are not of any help. Everything is thrown to army. Ok, maybe the admin part, thats about it.
2)Got a lot of problematic kids.
3)Much more politics within the show committee.
4)The parade lack the "Singapore" touch.
Of course, there are many more reasons as to why I don't like it. But on the contrary, some of the kids that I teach this year are very nice. Especially people from E5, so I guess at least there is something good. Tomorrow will most likely be the last day that I will be seeing this kids. I think I am going to miss them.
Of course, I can make an effort to keep in contact with them. But, I don't to be in a scenario whereby my effort is not appreciated. So, I guess I will leave it up to fate to decide whether its a fullstop or continue.
But of course, I didn't do nothing at all, I prepared a card for each of them as a souvenir. Whatever follows is up to the strength of bond that was created during this short 4 months.
This is not by chance, this is FATE.
29 July 2007
I just don't understand...
Quite a lot of things happened since my last update. Well, most of the things actually happened last Sunday. The day was very sian to start with. I was on the bus thinking about stuff cause I can't sleep. At first, I was only thinking about how long I haven't been to the beach to destress and it somehow linked to hope. And like always I kept thinking about why things happened the way they. But, I think I will never get to find out the answer to all this questions. Maybe I don't have the guts find out or maybe I am too bothered by the possible consequences.
Luckily, I was able to throw away those thoughts with some help of encouraging words from a friend. But, things just had to get worse. I received a call from my brother's friend saying that he was knocked down by a bus. The accident got the whole family all worried. But, at least his fine, so its fine. He only suffers a hairline fracture at the back of his ear but from time to time he will experience giddy spells. Thanks for all the concerns you guys.
Anyway for people is interested to know what exactly happened, this is the story. My brother was walking along the pavement but there was some obstruction on the pavement obstructing his path. So, he decided to go round it via the road. But, only after he took a step onto the road he was knocked by the bus. Well, he was in the wrong also though.
Through this incident there were two things that warmed my heart. The first was that as the accident brought the family together. I was able to feel fatherly love from my father. It was something that wasn't there for a very long time. But, anyways I am beginning to accept my father better already.
The second is that there was an "ang moh" passer-by who witness the accident. He somehow manage to track down my brother, visited him and was willing to testify for my brother against the bus driver. He was really a man with heart of gold. He took the trouble to track down my brother and visited him with a lot of stuff. His kindness is beyond words. If only Singaporeans can be more like him.
That day was really very rough for me. But, at least it was a happy ending.
On a lighter note, today I went out with Meifang again. It's about 1 month since we met. Well, she said she needed to destress, so we met and had dinner. Well, at least I helped her destress and just now she called me to me about some stuff and at the same time thanked me for tonight. But, truth is I enjoyed the "date" myself too. Haha.
Well, I glad that at least I am back on the happy railway.
Good things never last, but I still wish they will.
Luckily, I was able to throw away those thoughts with some help of encouraging words from a friend. But, things just had to get worse. I received a call from my brother's friend saying that he was knocked down by a bus. The accident got the whole family all worried. But, at least his fine, so its fine. He only suffers a hairline fracture at the back of his ear but from time to time he will experience giddy spells. Thanks for all the concerns you guys.
Anyway for people is interested to know what exactly happened, this is the story. My brother was walking along the pavement but there was some obstruction on the pavement obstructing his path. So, he decided to go round it via the road. But, only after he took a step onto the road he was knocked by the bus. Well, he was in the wrong also though.
Through this incident there were two things that warmed my heart. The first was that as the accident brought the family together. I was able to feel fatherly love from my father. It was something that wasn't there for a very long time. But, anyways I am beginning to accept my father better already.
The second is that there was an "ang moh" passer-by who witness the accident. He somehow manage to track down my brother, visited him and was willing to testify for my brother against the bus driver. He was really a man with heart of gold. He took the trouble to track down my brother and visited him with a lot of stuff. His kindness is beyond words. If only Singaporeans can be more like him.
That day was really very rough for me. But, at least it was a happy ending.
On a lighter note, today I went out with Meifang again. It's about 1 month since we met. Well, she said she needed to destress, so we met and had dinner. Well, at least I helped her destress and just now she called me to me about some stuff and at the same time thanked me for tonight. But, truth is I enjoyed the "date" myself too. Haha.
Well, I glad that at least I am back on the happy railway.
Good things never last, but I still wish they will.
21 July 2007
Searching...Looking...for something...
Before I start to blog about today's topic, I shall touch on a bit of things that I forgot in the previous entry. As the title "Ideals are not always the best" suggests, ideals are not always the best way for things to be. But of course, we hardly ever get things to be ideal. So, I guess sometimes it might be a blessing in disguise? What you guys think?
A lot of you must be wondering why am I thinking in such a way. Well, firstly, ideals for everyone would differ when we look at the same thing. Let me give you an example. Imagine you really like this guy/girl. Naturally, your ideal for this situation will be for you to be able to be together with this person. But, your parents don't like him/her and uses your kinship to threaten you from being together with him/her. If you choose to follow your ideal, you not only strain your relationship with your parents, you also start a chain reaction of other things that may have positive/negative impacts in your life(Use your imagination). This is just a very simplified example not taking into consideration of a lot of things(Ceteris Paribus.Lol.). So, I guess ideals still boils down to perspective, which may be good for you but bad for me.
But then again, who decides what's best?
Now, back to the original topic of the day. Well, good mood is up and it feels good. Although, I am feeling very tired from unknown reasons, just can't seem to be able to charge myself up. But, all is well.=)
For the past week, I suddenly gave some thought to my future(As in my studies and path after army), maybe because I am constantly being ask about what I am going to do after army. Now, I am giving myself thoughts about taking counseling instead of psychology. But, I just can't seem to reach a conclusion of which should I choose.
Well, if you think at this point that this is the main point of this entry, then you are wrong. This is only one of the contributing factors along with some other events in the week that triggered a thinking process.
I am looking for something... A new meaning? A purpose? A reason? Or could it be someone?
Well, I am still searching...
A lot of you must be wondering why am I thinking in such a way. Well, firstly, ideals for everyone would differ when we look at the same thing. Let me give you an example. Imagine you really like this guy/girl. Naturally, your ideal for this situation will be for you to be able to be together with this person. But, your parents don't like him/her and uses your kinship to threaten you from being together with him/her. If you choose to follow your ideal, you not only strain your relationship with your parents, you also start a chain reaction of other things that may have positive/negative impacts in your life(Use your imagination). This is just a very simplified example not taking into consideration of a lot of things(Ceteris Paribus.Lol.). So, I guess ideals still boils down to perspective, which may be good for you but bad for me.
But then again, who decides what's best?
Now, back to the original topic of the day. Well, good mood is up and it feels good. Although, I am feeling very tired from unknown reasons, just can't seem to be able to charge myself up. But, all is well.=)
For the past week, I suddenly gave some thought to my future(As in my studies and path after army), maybe because I am constantly being ask about what I am going to do after army. Now, I am giving myself thoughts about taking counseling instead of psychology. But, I just can't seem to reach a conclusion of which should I choose.
Well, if you think at this point that this is the main point of this entry, then you are wrong. This is only one of the contributing factors along with some other events in the week that triggered a thinking process.
I am looking for something... A new meaning? A purpose? A reason? Or could it be someone?
Well, I am still searching...
13 July 2007
Ideals are not always the best
Its being 2 weeks since I last updated. Well, all is well, other then the whole week of shifting of APD. Oh my god, I swear that is the most hardworking and tiring week in my whole NS term. I legs were literally having the "crampy" feeling the whole of today. Yeah, the new office is new and clean, more organise, more sleeping place but most of all I finally got a place of my own. Haha. In the past always have to share my place, but now no need. Not that I mind, but sometimes I can't find my stuff at my own place caused they are always not where they suppose to be.
2 sundays ago, I went out with Meifang again. Seriously speaking, that day was the best time we had together. I mean like we had great food, great company(I hope I was.=P) and also great scenery by the river side at Central, Clark Quay.(Ok la, not that great) The best of all is I was so surprised at how she reacted the jokes that I extracted from One Piece. We really had a great laugh. It was really a day well spend, helped me recharged myself from all the stress I have been getting from work and NDP.
For the past 2 weeks, I have been recalling some of the delighting events from the past. Sometimes I would smile to myself on the bus, I think if people saw me, they would have thought that I was crazy or "hua chi".
Sometimes life's not so bad if you just take a step back and take a look at whole picture instead of focusing on the black ink blob in the corner.
2 sundays ago, I went out with Meifang again. Seriously speaking, that day was the best time we had together. I mean like we had great food, great company(I hope I was.=P) and also great scenery by the river side at Central, Clark Quay.(Ok la, not that great) The best of all is I was so surprised at how she reacted the jokes that I extracted from One Piece. We really had a great laugh. It was really a day well spend, helped me recharged myself from all the stress I have been getting from work and NDP.
For the past 2 weeks, I have been recalling some of the delighting events from the past. Sometimes I would smile to myself on the bus, I think if people saw me, they would have thought that I was crazy or "hua chi".
Sometimes life's not so bad if you just take a step back and take a look at whole picture instead of focusing on the black ink blob in the corner.
28 June 2007
Floatin in the air
Some of you have being complaining about the lack of update, so here I am. Time now is 2230, just came back from SYF preview(as crew of course). Feel so tired but since my hair is still wet and I don't things to do, so I come on to post something.
Well, have any of you ever wonder how small this world is? I was able to bump into a dancer from NJC whom I got to know after working with her from last year's SYF as crew. I think that it was a pleasant surprise. And seriously, I didn't know that she danced that well until now.
The odds of being born into Singapore is already a negligible fraction, so being able to become friends is never by chance.
Something on a light note:
The SYF program book changed my name! Oh my god ...Lol. Now, I introduce myself with my new name. My name is Lim, Sim Lim.
Ok...Lame!
For the past week or so, I was rather on a down mood, thoughts kept on floating around in my mind. I was drained of my enthusiasm towards anything, just didn't feel like doing anything. Now after a week, although I can't say that I have totally snapped out of it, at least I was able to remove some of the thoughts that were bothering me. And true enough a chat with the correct people at the correct time always helped a lot(;) 10z yan).
But, not all was bad, something good did happen.
Weightless thoughts will keep floating around until weight is added to it and settle it to the bottom.
Well, have any of you ever wonder how small this world is? I was able to bump into a dancer from NJC whom I got to know after working with her from last year's SYF as crew. I think that it was a pleasant surprise. And seriously, I didn't know that she danced that well until now.
The odds of being born into Singapore is already a negligible fraction, so being able to become friends is never by chance.
Something on a light note:
The SYF program book changed my name! Oh my god ...Lol. Now, I introduce myself with my new name. My name is Lim, Sim Lim.
Ok...Lame!
For the past week or so, I was rather on a down mood, thoughts kept on floating around in my mind. I was drained of my enthusiasm towards anything, just didn't feel like doing anything. Now after a week, although I can't say that I have totally snapped out of it, at least I was able to remove some of the thoughts that were bothering me. And true enough a chat with the correct people at the correct time always helped a lot(;) 10z yan).
But, not all was bad, something good did happen.
Weightless thoughts will keep floating around until weight is added to it and settle it to the bottom.
08 June 2007
update+new skin
EDITED
Just remembered that last sunday, I met up with Meifang for dinner cause she wanted to pass to me a T-shirt that she bought for me. Stun?Yeah, I also very stun. Lol. Anyways, we went for dinner at bugis, where we were "caught" by mao, kenrick and yong xuan. Lol. Nothing to hide about anyway. Haha.
Anyway I was very surprised when she say she was going to give me a T-shirt. I mean like it isn't any special occasion or anything of that sort. Well, it turns out that part of the reason was that I always wear the same things, which makes it seem as if I have "Liang Xi Mei" wardrobe. Of course, there are the usual reasons like I always give her stuff, I treat her nice blah blah blah... Haha. The most funny reason was cause it was Singapore Sales. Lol. But, was really touched by her gesture, really sweet of her.
Wa...Fei si le!!
Althoough, I decided(convince myself) that this is as far as it gets, it still feels good. Haha. Well, at least it feels better than to not recieve anything from someone who went overseas(Hint hint). Haha. Just joking.
We walked all the way from Bugis back to her place(Again). Well, that was because it was still quite early and she felt like walking. Initially, she only wanted to walk till City Hall. But, by the time we reached, she commented that it was faster then she expected. So, I suggested that we walk all the way back to her house. We had a great chat(at least to me).
And she said something that made me quite happy for everyone and of course myself as well.
Fang:Wo jue de wo hen lucky leh...
Sam:Why leh?
Fang:Ying wei you hen duo ren teng wo.
This shows that firstly she finds something about herself that she feels that is worth being happy about. Secondly, I am pretty sure most of us here(with exception of people who don't even know her and "its") part of the "hen duo ren". Haha. Maybe it might not mean much to you people, but it really makes me feel good about myself.
Its being ages since I last updated. I am hardly at home early because of duty and NDP. Thats why I couldn't find any time to blog. Whats more I don't really have much to blog about. Lol.
Anyways UNI is finally over, I am really very glad. The load finally off my back. But, honestly speaking, I must say that I did have somethings to bring home from the production. So, its not all that bad. Well, now off to battle with NDP.
I finally managed to solve the problem of people with IE not being able to view the new skin. This skin took me almost 10hours to make from scratch. The longest one yet. But, there are still 2 problems that still exists. The first is that people viewing with firefox will see that the imeem box is blocking the guitar. Well, it is suppose to be transparent, but I just can't seemed to be able to make it transparent. Anyone can help? The second problem is that cause the scripting of IE and firefox is slightly different. So, whenever I script using IE, firefox screws up and vice versa. So, I tried both and found that its better to script with firefox is the better choice as it will only cause the imeem box in IE be in the wrong position(i.e at the top left corner instead of the box just above the guitar.
But, then again, this should be go enough. How you guys think of the new skin?
Anyway some of you might be thinking, whats the craze over YUI. Well, somehow I just like her songs, they all suits my taste(ok, at least most). Another thing is that, she is a J-rock singer and I like rock(pop). So ya... Of course, there are reasons like she is cute, she is young and talented, blah blah blah. Haha.
So, I am now officially introducing YUI to you guys via imeem. I included 9 songs that I like better in the playlist, so take some time to enjoy her music(lyrics and sometimes music written by herself).
Just remembered that last sunday, I met up with Meifang for dinner cause she wanted to pass to me a T-shirt that she bought for me. Stun?Yeah, I also very stun. Lol. Anyways, we went for dinner at bugis, where we were "caught" by mao, kenrick and yong xuan. Lol. Nothing to hide about anyway. Haha.
Anyway I was very surprised when she say she was going to give me a T-shirt. I mean like it isn't any special occasion or anything of that sort. Well, it turns out that part of the reason was that I always wear the same things, which makes it seem as if I have "Liang Xi Mei" wardrobe. Of course, there are the usual reasons like I always give her stuff, I treat her nice blah blah blah... Haha. The most funny reason was cause it was Singapore Sales. Lol. But, was really touched by her gesture, really sweet of her.
Wa...Fei si le!!
Althoough, I decided(convince myself) that this is as far as it gets, it still feels good. Haha. Well, at least it feels better than to not recieve anything from someone who went overseas(Hint hint). Haha. Just joking.
We walked all the way from Bugis back to her place(Again). Well, that was because it was still quite early and she felt like walking. Initially, she only wanted to walk till City Hall. But, by the time we reached, she commented that it was faster then she expected. So, I suggested that we walk all the way back to her house. We had a great chat(at least to me).
And she said something that made me quite happy for everyone and of course myself as well.
Fang:Wo jue de wo hen lucky leh...
Sam:Why leh?
Fang:Ying wei you hen duo ren teng wo.
This shows that firstly she finds something about herself that she feels that is worth being happy about. Secondly, I am pretty sure most of us here(with exception of people who don't even know her and "its") part of the "hen duo ren". Haha. Maybe it might not mean much to you people, but it really makes me feel good about myself.
Its being ages since I last updated. I am hardly at home early because of duty and NDP. Thats why I couldn't find any time to blog. Whats more I don't really have much to blog about. Lol.
Anyways UNI is finally over, I am really very glad. The load finally off my back. But, honestly speaking, I must say that I did have somethings to bring home from the production. So, its not all that bad. Well, now off to battle with NDP.
I finally managed to solve the problem of people with IE not being able to view the new skin. This skin took me almost 10hours to make from scratch. The longest one yet. But, there are still 2 problems that still exists. The first is that people viewing with firefox will see that the imeem box is blocking the guitar. Well, it is suppose to be transparent, but I just can't seemed to be able to make it transparent. Anyone can help? The second problem is that cause the scripting of IE and firefox is slightly different. So, whenever I script using IE, firefox screws up and vice versa. So, I tried both and found that its better to script with firefox is the better choice as it will only cause the imeem box in IE be in the wrong position(i.e at the top left corner instead of the box just above the guitar.
But, then again, this should be go enough. How you guys think of the new skin?
Anyway some of you might be thinking, whats the craze over YUI. Well, somehow I just like her songs, they all suits my taste(ok, at least most). Another thing is that, she is a J-rock singer and I like rock(pop). So ya... Of course, there are reasons like she is cute, she is young and talented, blah blah blah. Haha.
So, I am now officially introducing YUI to you guys via imeem. I included 9 songs that I like better in the playlist, so take some time to enjoy her music(lyrics and sometimes music written by herself).
03 May 2007
Reminder: Purpose
On the way home on 1st May, I felt that my foot steps are lighter and felt as if I just let down a big burden. I was feeling great. I have once again found my comfort zone, a place where I belonged. I was feeling very happy. I found purpose, my purpose.
I am once again reminded what I can do, what I am good at. I haven't felt this alive for a long while, its so refreshing. I guess the only reason I was the way I had been for the pass few weeks is because I haven't been out of my shell for a very long time. I didn't do what I was good at, instead I did things that only numb the pain. Although, there is more that could be done, I guess it can't be rushed.
Ah, I miss the sea breeze, the sand, the sea and the clouds in the clear blue sky.
All that I needed was to see happiness in your eyes.
Meifen's & Meifang's birthday wasn't the only thing that left me grinning from one end to the other. I finally managed to get to watch the legendary "1 litre of tears". I have to say, its a brilliant show. It was really sad but touching. Although, I didn't cry like what most people say that everyone would, it did leave a trace of sadness from the main character lingering in my mind. I can't describe it, though its a sad feeling but somehow it awaken me from my slumber.
It let me thinking about a lot of things. My past, my present and my future. Although, the initial effects wasn't very good, it turned out better. I feel better now and because of all these suddenly I feel very appreciative of what I have now. I feel contented. Although, my stress is still around the corner, but I am satisfied with that moment of joy. I am sure it won't be the end of that feeling. My pursuit has just begun, my pursuit for happiness.
Earning happiness by putting effort to achieve it is what that makes it worth the while.
Suddenly, I am reminded of the days where I was able to catch quite a lot of meaningful shows like "Pay it forward", "If you care", "Midnight Sun", "1 Litre of Tears", "Band of Brothers" and also the books that I had read like "The five people you meet in heaven".
Everyone of these titles and also including others that are not mentioned, gave me inspiration to life. Help me find reason for living, my purpose. They maybe fiction but each of them made me stronger with their own unique way. So, actually watching TV isn't all that bad, just that we need to filter and think about what we had watched.
Of course, how can my life be so simple as to be inspired by only a few shows, there are also people who came into my life and changed it forever. People like Mr Low, Sh!n, Michelle Tan, NHDS, Fate, Hope, Destiny, 4/7, OG9, 04S15, UWA Economists, 04S11 and many more people who existed in my life.
Once a friend told me(Although, I don't really like him, I remember him because of what he said.), why do you think that out of the 6.5 billion people on earth, you are fated to meet with the people you see now. By doing the calculation mathematically, you should be able to tell that the chances of meeting 1 out of 6.5 billion is really very negligible, let along making friends with the person or eventually setting up a family with him/her. Even the uncle that sweeps the floor every morning under your block. Have you wondered what will happened if he never existed? Maybe there won't be a direct impact, but if you watch "Butterfly Effect" you will know what I mean. You may not have spoken to that uncle before, but he is in your life for a reason.
More than often, you want to meet up with your friends, be it primary school friends from longer ago or buddies that you have never stopped contacting, but always becomes a dread because you are lazy. I dare say that I am one of them. For we are humans, these kind of things are bound to happen, that's why I really appreciate those who bothers to. Even for those who don't, they are still my friends after all.
A flap of a butterfly's wings maybe nothing at the place itself, but may have caused a tornado on the other side of the world.
I am once again reminded what I can do, what I am good at. I haven't felt this alive for a long while, its so refreshing. I guess the only reason I was the way I had been for the pass few weeks is because I haven't been out of my shell for a very long time. I didn't do what I was good at, instead I did things that only numb the pain. Although, there is more that could be done, I guess it can't be rushed.
Ah, I miss the sea breeze, the sand, the sea and the clouds in the clear blue sky.
All that I needed was to see happiness in your eyes.
Meifen's & Meifang's birthday wasn't the only thing that left me grinning from one end to the other. I finally managed to get to watch the legendary "1 litre of tears". I have to say, its a brilliant show. It was really sad but touching. Although, I didn't cry like what most people say that everyone would, it did leave a trace of sadness from the main character lingering in my mind. I can't describe it, though its a sad feeling but somehow it awaken me from my slumber.
It let me thinking about a lot of things. My past, my present and my future. Although, the initial effects wasn't very good, it turned out better. I feel better now and because of all these suddenly I feel very appreciative of what I have now. I feel contented. Although, my stress is still around the corner, but I am satisfied with that moment of joy. I am sure it won't be the end of that feeling. My pursuit has just begun, my pursuit for happiness.
Earning happiness by putting effort to achieve it is what that makes it worth the while.
Suddenly, I am reminded of the days where I was able to catch quite a lot of meaningful shows like "Pay it forward", "If you care", "Midnight Sun", "1 Litre of Tears", "Band of Brothers" and also the books that I had read like "The five people you meet in heaven".
Everyone of these titles and also including others that are not mentioned, gave me inspiration to life. Help me find reason for living, my purpose. They maybe fiction but each of them made me stronger with their own unique way. So, actually watching TV isn't all that bad, just that we need to filter and think about what we had watched.
Of course, how can my life be so simple as to be inspired by only a few shows, there are also people who came into my life and changed it forever. People like Mr Low, Sh!n, Michelle Tan, NHDS, Fate, Hope, Destiny, 4/7, OG9, 04S15, UWA Economists, 04S11 and many more people who existed in my life.
Once a friend told me(Although, I don't really like him, I remember him because of what he said.), why do you think that out of the 6.5 billion people on earth, you are fated to meet with the people you see now. By doing the calculation mathematically, you should be able to tell that the chances of meeting 1 out of 6.5 billion is really very negligible, let along making friends with the person or eventually setting up a family with him/her. Even the uncle that sweeps the floor every morning under your block. Have you wondered what will happened if he never existed? Maybe there won't be a direct impact, but if you watch "Butterfly Effect" you will know what I mean. You may not have spoken to that uncle before, but he is in your life for a reason.
More than often, you want to meet up with your friends, be it primary school friends from longer ago or buddies that you have never stopped contacting, but always becomes a dread because you are lazy. I dare say that I am one of them. For we are humans, these kind of things are bound to happen, that's why I really appreciate those who bothers to. Even for those who don't, they are still my friends after all.
A flap of a butterfly's wings maybe nothing at the place itself, but may have caused a tornado on the other side of the world.
22 April 2007
Reflecting
After such a long time, being through so many things and coming to where I am now. I realised that I am where I started out at. So, what is it that I have really gained? Do I have something to be proud of?
Ok let's do a recap. I can't lead, I make olympics a joke, I educate with tranny, I only can invent blogskins, I can't read peoples minds, I am an open tap when it comes to money, Entrepreneurship(I can't even spell) owns me hands down..................
So, what can I do?
I am arrogant, smart alec, sore loser. I run away from reality, I can't take changes and I have a bad temper.
So, am I of any good?
I am weak physically and mentally, I can no shit. Fuck it then, fire me. If not, I quit!
I don't know myself anymore, I don't know my future.
STOP FINDING EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF YOU USELESS IDOIT!!!
Ok let's do a recap. I can't lead, I make olympics a joke, I educate with tranny, I only can invent blogskins, I can't read peoples minds, I am an open tap when it comes to money, Entrepreneurship(I can't even spell) owns me hands down..................
So, what can I do?
I am arrogant, smart alec, sore loser. I run away from reality, I can't take changes and I have a bad temper.
So, am I of any good?
I am weak physically and mentally, I can no shit. Fuck it then, fire me. If not, I quit!
I don't know myself anymore, I don't know my future.
STOP FINDING EXCUSES FOR YOURSELF YOU USELESS IDOIT!!!
21 April 2007
the reason
Just came back from Jin Wei's(A friend from army going to ORD in 2 weeks time) farewell outing. Oh my god! I am so tired. Haha. But, well I had fun and I am sure everyone did. Although, the planning stages everyone seemed less than interested and keeps trying to "blackmail" Jin Wei with conditions like a treat or what so ever, people still made an effort to come down for the outing. I mean its like after all we spent about a year or so's time together, gone through maybe 300+ break time together.
Although, there are times when we disagree or "kao peh" that each other "chao keng". But, all I can say is that what kind of friends don't ever disagree. Well, for the very least these are the people who will be walking me through the rest of my NS life.(With the exception of Jin Wei and Wee Yen who will ORD before me)
From this day to the ending of the world we in it shall be remembered. We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
During today's outing, I realised that although we had only known each other for a year or even shorter, but somehow we have a lot of things to talk about. I really missed those times SH!N was doing that. Nowadays, we can't we can't even really last through one dinner. Although, one thing about APD(my department) guys is that we can shoot Jin Wei and laugh it true, thats only a small factor and shouldn't be the influencing factor to keep conversations going. Maybe its cause we work together, so we have more things to talk about, who knows? SH!N we used to have Daryl to shoot at, but ever since he got into so much commitments we hardly get to see him.
Nowadays, more and more people going MIA from gatherings. Haiz... oh well.
SH!N time to ROC!!!
It takes two hands to clap.
Although, there are times when we disagree or "kao peh" that each other "chao keng". But, all I can say is that what kind of friends don't ever disagree. Well, for the very least these are the people who will be walking me through the rest of my NS life.(With the exception of Jin Wei and Wee Yen who will ORD before me)
From this day to the ending of the world we in it shall be remembered. We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
During today's outing, I realised that although we had only known each other for a year or even shorter, but somehow we have a lot of things to talk about. I really missed those times SH!N was doing that. Nowadays, we can't we can't even really last through one dinner. Although, one thing about APD(my department) guys is that we can shoot Jin Wei and laugh it true, thats only a small factor and shouldn't be the influencing factor to keep conversations going. Maybe its cause we work together, so we have more things to talk about, who knows? SH!N we used to have Daryl to shoot at, but ever since he got into so much commitments we hardly get to see him.
Nowadays, more and more people going MIA from gatherings. Haiz... oh well.
SH!N time to ROC!!!
It takes two hands to clap.
17 April 2007
let the heart speak
I am sure everyone has come across times when things that you really want to do clashes with consequences that you don't want or maybe can't even bear. Its really very irritating when that happens. Sianz.
I just want to stroll along the beach with you, but I don't want to bear the consequences again.
Hey,
Its been a while. A lot has happened since the other time. But, anyways before I babble on, I like wish you a happy birthday and hope that your wishes would all come true.
Every time I see that smile on your face, it just makes my heart melt. But, some wishes never comes true, at least not for me. That's why, now I only make very simple wishes, so simple that they will almost surely come true. A bit dumb right? Haha... I think so too.
Well, I can't help but admit to you that how happy I am that you are not like the others. How should I say this...should I say that I am touched? Well, I know I shouldn't be thinking about anything else. But, memories always linger around, especially in your presence.
Whatever it is, thank you for not walking out on me. =)
Have a happy birthday!
Regards.
I just want to stroll along the beach with you, but I don't want to bear the consequences again.
Hey,
Its been a while. A lot has happened since the other time. But, anyways before I babble on, I like wish you a happy birthday and hope that your wishes would all come true.
Every time I see that smile on your face, it just makes my heart melt. But, some wishes never comes true, at least not for me. That's why, now I only make very simple wishes, so simple that they will almost surely come true. A bit dumb right? Haha... I think so too.
Well, I can't help but admit to you that how happy I am that you are not like the others. How should I say this...should I say that I am touched? Well, I know I shouldn't be thinking about anything else. But, memories always linger around, especially in your presence.
Whatever it is, thank you for not walking out on me. =)
Have a happy birthday!
Regards.
15 April 2007
Taking a new flight
Duh! How can I be so dumb? I tuned my alarm on my handphone, but forgot to set the day. In the end, I woke up late. I wasn't late for DI cause I took a cab. Hmph...like it made a difference. Should had took a bus and take my time. Waste my money. zzz...
Maybe those who had read my previous entry would have noticed that I had changed my blogging style. Both language and layout. And also the...should I say unexpected entry? Well, I am going to ORD soon. And going on to adulthood(turning 21) soon, I guess I have been through a lot.
Its time to left the old me behind. Its actually very ironic, cause I think I always say the same thing. But, I always come back the same point. No matter what the problem was. I guess I always thought that I was up to it, was mature enough. I guess I don't understand enough, don't understand enough about everything including myself, yet.
Well, now I have come to a stage of life, a crossroad, where I can no longer find a song to relate to me well enough. Good-bye days on a very blur way says what my heart cries. But, its just not close enough.
I always had a story to tell. But, could never find an audience.
Sometimes I really don't know why I do what I do, I am just doing things, following my heart. There are times that it is right and also when it is wrong. But, who is to be the judge? But, I know for certain things, I know I do them for a reason.
I can be rich or poor, depending on how you look at things. Generosity don't come your pocket, but your heart.
Maybe those who had read my previous entry would have noticed that I had changed my blogging style. Both language and layout. And also the...should I say unexpected entry? Well, I am going to ORD soon. And going on to adulthood(turning 21) soon, I guess I have been through a lot.
Its time to left the old me behind. Its actually very ironic, cause I think I always say the same thing. But, I always come back the same point. No matter what the problem was. I guess I always thought that I was up to it, was mature enough. I guess I don't understand enough, don't understand enough about everything including myself, yet.
Well, now I have come to a stage of life, a crossroad, where I can no longer find a song to relate to me well enough. Good-bye days on a very blur way says what my heart cries. But, its just not close enough.
I always had a story to tell. But, could never find an audience.
Sometimes I really don't know why I do what I do, I am just doing things, following my heart. There are times that it is right and also when it is wrong. But, who is to be the judge? But, I know for certain things, I know I do them for a reason.
I can be rich or poor, depending on how you look at things. Generosity don't come your pocket, but your heart.
14 April 2007
home....?
Life has become so mundane. Work, movie, DI, work, movie and DI again. It has already become a routine. I am not trying complain that I don't like watching movie with the guys, nor am I trying to say that I no longer like going to dance. Just that everything has become so routine that there is no longer anything that I can look forward to.
Going to work is just like stepping into a mine field. You don't know when you will be blasted into pieces.(Oh my homi!) As much as I like the company of most of my brothers, sisters and officers back in office, sometimes somethings/some people just has to spoil the picture. Yeah, I know nothing is perfect and I know there isn't going to be an exception. I really miss school. I hope that I will be able to.
I made many mistakes in life, but I don't want to make my life a mistake.
Movie marathons! This few weeks is filled with endless movies. Some were great, some didn't do as good. Some people like that movie, some didn't. The groups life has become so boring, cause we have run out of ideas to spend our time. And movies were always the most convenient and easiest way to spend out time. I know I have nothing to complain about, cause I also can't do nothing about it. And we seriously have to admit it, the attendance is getting from bad to worse.(Yes, I am talking about it again.)
Maybe there is a barrier that exists between some of us, maybe its just to some of us. While some people are trying to be forgiving, some people just like to think otherwise. I know I always say very blunt things to some of us, sometimes even going too far. Everyone have their short comings, and move than often we can't control ourselves. Well, that is what makes us, us. Well, I know thats my shortcoming, and I am trying to control myself. I know just because I am having a bad mood its not a good reason for my behavior. But, I am really very happy that I have very accepting and understanding friends. But, it really takes 2 hands to clap. Life-long friends are people who can co-exist together accepting each others short coming and at the same time knowing their short comings, feeling sorry about it.
Luffy(One piece) has too many short comings to count, but he is very lucky to have a very accepting crew. Because they all know that, his strength can compensate for everything else. Loyal friendship.
DI is turning into a stress zone. I no longer know my role there. I am lost. I know I can't handle stress well, but that doesn't give me a reason to run away from my responsibility. I may not be irreplaceable but my presence, everyones contribution is a source of energy for Mr Low. I am no longer contributing to Nan Hua, yet I tried to run away. What a coward. I know I have to face this, but it really hurts me deeply to see everything falling apart. I can't no longer hear the flames , feel the heat. Where's the passion?
Everyone has a different part to play, know your role.
By now, you guys must be wondering what's going here? Is the one who is typing this entry even Sam? Well guys, don't worry. Nothing happened, nothing in particular at least. I have been doing a lot of thinking for the pass few weeks, about what has been going on in my life. I feel that I am really being stressed out. Although, I no longer gloom like last time when even I am love sick or what so ever. But, really feel so numb to everything. I tried to put my mind on a holiday hoping that it will help. Well, it did. But wasn't for long. The truth is I don't know what I am doing with my life.
Life in the past 6 months or so was really a joke. Cut! I really feel that I was fooling around with my life. I really have to stop spoiling my life and others lives just because I always act on impulse. Maybe the numbing process will help me cure this disease.
What happened? Why did it happen? Sometimes isn't being ignorant a bliss?
When will I be home?
Going to work is just like stepping into a mine field. You don't know when you will be blasted into pieces.(Oh my homi!) As much as I like the company of most of my brothers, sisters and officers back in office, sometimes somethings/some people just has to spoil the picture. Yeah, I know nothing is perfect and I know there isn't going to be an exception. I really miss school. I hope that I will be able to.
I made many mistakes in life, but I don't want to make my life a mistake.
Movie marathons! This few weeks is filled with endless movies. Some were great, some didn't do as good. Some people like that movie, some didn't. The groups life has become so boring, cause we have run out of ideas to spend our time. And movies were always the most convenient and easiest way to spend out time. I know I have nothing to complain about, cause I also can't do nothing about it. And we seriously have to admit it, the attendance is getting from bad to worse.(Yes, I am talking about it again.)
Maybe there is a barrier that exists between some of us, maybe its just to some of us. While some people are trying to be forgiving, some people just like to think otherwise. I know I always say very blunt things to some of us, sometimes even going too far. Everyone have their short comings, and move than often we can't control ourselves. Well, that is what makes us, us. Well, I know thats my shortcoming, and I am trying to control myself. I know just because I am having a bad mood its not a good reason for my behavior. But, I am really very happy that I have very accepting and understanding friends. But, it really takes 2 hands to clap. Life-long friends are people who can co-exist together accepting each others short coming and at the same time knowing their short comings, feeling sorry about it.
Luffy(One piece) has too many short comings to count, but he is very lucky to have a very accepting crew. Because they all know that, his strength can compensate for everything else. Loyal friendship.
DI is turning into a stress zone. I no longer know my role there. I am lost. I know I can't handle stress well, but that doesn't give me a reason to run away from my responsibility. I may not be irreplaceable but my presence, everyones contribution is a source of energy for Mr Low. I am no longer contributing to Nan Hua, yet I tried to run away. What a coward. I know I have to face this, but it really hurts me deeply to see everything falling apart. I can't no longer hear the flames , feel the heat. Where's the passion?
Everyone has a different part to play, know your role.
By now, you guys must be wondering what's going here? Is the one who is typing this entry even Sam? Well guys, don't worry. Nothing happened, nothing in particular at least. I have been doing a lot of thinking for the pass few weeks, about what has been going on in my life. I feel that I am really being stressed out. Although, I no longer gloom like last time when even I am love sick or what so ever. But, really feel so numb to everything. I tried to put my mind on a holiday hoping that it will help. Well, it did. But wasn't for long. The truth is I don't know what I am doing with my life.
Life in the past 6 months or so was really a joke. Cut! I really feel that I was fooling around with my life. I really have to stop spoiling my life and others lives just because I always act on impulse. Maybe the numbing process will help me cure this disease.
What happened? Why did it happen? Sometimes isn't being ignorant a bliss?
When will I be home?
31 March 2007
updates
ok...its almost a mth since i updated my blog...well nth muc since den actually...
well dere was my bday...it wasnt a veri re nou one...but den it was not bad la...i enjoyed myself pretty muc...wasnt realli surprised when mich came in wit the cakes...duno y oso... i mean i wasnt expectin her to bake the cake herself...but ya... i no sum form of cake will come...but i was so donged...altho how nice it wld hav been if the cake was baked by sumone else...but too bad noone at the moment...
but not bad la...bday wish came true...it was a simple one...but ya...quite dumb actually...but watever...
anyway got to meet andre finally...well...he gav mi a gd impression...n i got a feelin dey r goin to work out...but of course dey realli need to communicate lots more for things to go far...jia you ba...
now npd trainin started le...guess i m goin to b bz again...
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24hr信徒
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so dis is it?after all tt hav happened...n i m scene is cut...duh...i free so extra...n if i realli was the extra...den y rope mi in in the first place...i feel so wasted...
i m so disappointed...y does it hav to hav the sadest endin...
msg of the day:dun paint mi a paintin to wash it off after...u can save on the colourins...
well dere was my bday...it wasnt a veri re nou one...but den it was not bad la...i enjoyed myself pretty muc...wasnt realli surprised when mich came in wit the cakes...duno y oso... i mean i wasnt expectin her to bake the cake herself...but ya... i no sum form of cake will come...but i was so donged...altho how nice it wld hav been if the cake was baked by sumone else...but too bad noone at the moment...
but not bad la...bday wish came true...it was a simple one...but ya...quite dumb actually...but watever...
anyway got to meet andre finally...well...he gav mi a gd impression...n i got a feelin dey r goin to work out...but of course dey realli need to communicate lots more for things to go far...jia you ba...
now npd trainin started le...guess i m goin to b bz again...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
so dis is it?after all tt hav happened...n i m scene is cut...duh...i free so extra...n if i realli was the extra...den y rope mi in in the first place...i feel so wasted...
i m so disappointed...y does it hav to hav the sadest endin...
msg of the day:dun paint mi a paintin to wash it off after...u can save on the colourins...
02 March 2007
slpless again...
zzz...cant slp again...duno is coz i tink too muc or whether comboed wit my nose...dam...summore tml got duty...sianz...duno can keep awake ma...today had prob keepin myself awake liao...
anyways tml is A lvl results day...i wish everyone all the best...congrats if u get gd results...but dun b sad if u get not so gd ones...i m still doin fine wit my CDD...lol...still lookin for a place i belong tho...
anyway to my dear mich...sis dun get so stressed up...loosen up a bit...i no by the time u read dis entry u probably oredi hav received ur judgement...but hey...watever tt happens i no tt u will b strong as u always r n face it...dis is onli 1 phase of life...dun fall here...when to fall oso fall when u meet "HIM"...lol...ok lame...
now back to my life...well...chingay is over...half glad half not...glad coz i finally no need to draw circles if u no wat i mean...lol...the other half coz i will hav nth to do now...to block my brain from unwanted tots...it was so far so gd until chingay was comin to an end...altho NDP is comin liao...but its still not here yet...aiya duno la...
anyways made sum friends while i was at chingay...dis years chingay altho not as free as at DI...but it was still fun...the PACT ppl treated us quite nice...mayb coz we r still kids to dem...lol...it had a nice touchin endin if u ask mi...reminds mi of the gd old NHDS on the bus days...
but sadly chingay oso marked the death of my 6021...zzz...regretted not copyin down all the nos...zzz...but i later on enjoyed the supper wit the guys...it was realli fun...
CNY now oso almost over le...well dis year not as re nou...lets hope it will b better on sat ba...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
recently quite a lot of "happenings" if u no wat i mean...
wat mich said to mi tt day hit mi lik a tight slap on the face...mich not sayin u say wrong thing...juz tt i juz stuck mi ...lik woke mi up...its quite stupid...in fact veri...oso veri duo luo...god...
sumhow now my ord seems super far away...when i felt so near a few wks ago...the things goin on in mi is lik so fluctuating la...man...so sianz...
i m losin touch to life...forgetin my philisophy...
msg of the day:will u remember mi?
anyways tml is A lvl results day...i wish everyone all the best...congrats if u get gd results...but dun b sad if u get not so gd ones...i m still doin fine wit my CDD...lol...still lookin for a place i belong tho...
anyway to my dear mich...sis dun get so stressed up...loosen up a bit...i no by the time u read dis entry u probably oredi hav received ur judgement...but hey...watever tt happens i no tt u will b strong as u always r n face it...dis is onli 1 phase of life...dun fall here...when to fall oso fall when u meet "HIM"...lol...ok lame...
now back to my life...well...chingay is over...half glad half not...glad coz i finally no need to draw circles if u no wat i mean...lol...the other half coz i will hav nth to do now...to block my brain from unwanted tots...it was so far so gd until chingay was comin to an end...altho NDP is comin liao...but its still not here yet...aiya duno la...
anyways made sum friends while i was at chingay...dis years chingay altho not as free as at DI...but it was still fun...the PACT ppl treated us quite nice...mayb coz we r still kids to dem...lol...it had a nice touchin endin if u ask mi...reminds mi of the gd old NHDS on the bus days...
but sadly chingay oso marked the death of my 6021...zzz...regretted not copyin down all the nos...zzz...but i later on enjoyed the supper wit the guys...it was realli fun...
CNY now oso almost over le...well dis year not as re nou...lets hope it will b better on sat ba...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
recently quite a lot of "happenings" if u no wat i mean...
wat mich said to mi tt day hit mi lik a tight slap on the face...mich not sayin u say wrong thing...juz tt i juz stuck mi ...lik woke mi up...its quite stupid...in fact veri...oso veri duo luo...god...
sumhow now my ord seems super far away...when i felt so near a few wks ago...the things goin on in mi is lik so fluctuating la...man...so sianz...
i m losin touch to life...forgetin my philisophy...
msg of the day:will u remember mi?
25 February 2007
agloco
i was intro to dis method of earnin money...basically u juz need to sign up n install the viewbar wich will b available later...den u will clock hours for the time u on the viewbar while on the net...den ppl u refer to the community oso add to ur income...in a way it is lik mlm...
i not sure whether its safe a not ...but the onli private info i was asked to provided was my address wich is how dey pay u via cheque...n i oso duno whether dey will send the cheque in the end...but juz try lor...
dis was intro to mi by a pri sch buddy...his quite bright la...so i guess i can try it out...u all can go the link n read up if interested...but do mi a favor...if u join...indicate tt i referred u...or juz use this link...
www.agloco.com/r/BBCC3952
this link is my referral link...registerin via dis link will auto indicate tt i referred u...but if u r asked to enter my member id...its BBCC3952...
btw...while registerin u may b asked to enter the security code a few times...
but if u r not interested oso nvm...haha...anyways if u discover any flaw abt it let mi no...but i hope its not a scam...
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24hr
~~~~~~
msg of the day:
i not sure whether its safe a not ...but the onli private info i was asked to provided was my address wich is how dey pay u via cheque...n i oso duno whether dey will send the cheque in the end...but juz try lor...
dis was intro to mi by a pri sch buddy...his quite bright la...so i guess i can try it out...u all can go the link n read up if interested...but do mi a favor...if u join...indicate tt i referred u...or juz use this link...
www.agloco.com/r/BBCC3952
this link is my referral link...registerin via dis link will auto indicate tt i referred u...but if u r asked to enter my member id...its BBCC3952...
btw...while registerin u may b asked to enter the security code a few times...
but if u r not interested oso nvm...haha...anyways if u discover any flaw abt it let mi no...but i hope its not a scam...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr
~~~~~~
msg of the day:
20 February 2007
good-bye days
well...look at the time of dis post...god...i finally finished the skin after struggling all nite...but of course wit the help of my ns buddy jin wei...
but anyways quite stubborn if u ask mi...i mean lik its lik almost 3am...n i hav to wake up at abt 9 latest...n yet i m still bloggin...tok abt being stubborn...but anyways i juz got the urge to complete the skin lor...n here it is...
i tink its abit overdone...coz i tryin out a lot of new techniques from photoshop wich i didnt use b4 in the previous skins...i personally lik the idea of the 3merged background colour...it helps mi beat the prob of havin to stick to white since the foreground trademark banner is based on white...but it wun b a prob from now on since i learned how to better blend it in...but i will not look as gd as on white tho...as yet...haha...
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24hr信徒
~~~~~~
well...mayb sum of u might no the meaning b4 the skin n the basically the theme of the whole blog...
i nv realli did tell anyone abt the whole story...at least not all of it...mostly coz it might b too ridiculous to blive in...but still i blive in it...but anyways its over...mayb it is...hu noes...haha...but during tt period of time it juz happen lik tt...poof...1 min i m in dere...next min i m out...
well i m juz mi...i do things is say do will do one...dere is no stoppin mi actually...sounds kinda asshole...especially if i ask for opinions n still end up the same...well we got to accept tt tts my shortcoming...haha...
listenin to th song as i type the entry realli digs mi deep...altho the song is more of a positive one...but still...haiz...i dun even no y things lik tt can happen...if dis is not it den dun make mi blive by showin mi stuff tt hav more meanin to wat tt meets the eye...or at least tts wat i tink...
altho it was onli a short 6mth uptill now...but still the impact is so big...so big tt i duno wat happen to mi...sum may hav realised...the things i say...the things i do...actually i m pretty disgusted by it comparin to how i wld look at things in the past...
lifes juz the way it is...but watever it is...i wan to blive...let mi blive...dun take away my dream...my hope in my dream...
msg of the day:do u blive in ur dream...i do...coz i saw hope...but its now gone...forever...
but anyways quite stubborn if u ask mi...i mean lik its lik almost 3am...n i hav to wake up at abt 9 latest...n yet i m still bloggin...tok abt being stubborn...but anyways i juz got the urge to complete the skin lor...n here it is...
i tink its abit overdone...coz i tryin out a lot of new techniques from photoshop wich i didnt use b4 in the previous skins...i personally lik the idea of the 3merged background colour...it helps mi beat the prob of havin to stick to white since the foreground trademark banner is based on white...but it wun b a prob from now on since i learned how to better blend it in...but i will not look as gd as on white tho...as yet...haha...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
well...mayb sum of u might no the meaning b4 the skin n the basically the theme of the whole blog...
i nv realli did tell anyone abt the whole story...at least not all of it...mostly coz it might b too ridiculous to blive in...but still i blive in it...but anyways its over...mayb it is...hu noes...haha...but during tt period of time it juz happen lik tt...poof...1 min i m in dere...next min i m out...
well i m juz mi...i do things is say do will do one...dere is no stoppin mi actually...sounds kinda asshole...especially if i ask for opinions n still end up the same...well we got to accept tt tts my shortcoming...haha...
listenin to th song as i type the entry realli digs mi deep...altho the song is more of a positive one...but still...haiz...i dun even no y things lik tt can happen...if dis is not it den dun make mi blive by showin mi stuff tt hav more meanin to wat tt meets the eye...or at least tts wat i tink...
altho it was onli a short 6mth uptill now...but still the impact is so big...so big tt i duno wat happen to mi...sum may hav realised...the things i say...the things i do...actually i m pretty disgusted by it comparin to how i wld look at things in the past...
lifes juz the way it is...but watever it is...i wan to blive...let mi blive...dun take away my dream...my hope in my dream...
msg of the day:do u blive in ur dream...i do...coz i saw hope...but its now gone...forever...
16 February 2007
its juz so magical...memories...
well...didnt expect myself to blog today...but i suddenly got an urge to blog...i will explain y later...
recently realli veri bz...wit chingay n UNI...i tink i realli veri stressed out liao...plus office juz increased my workin load...wat could b worse rite?it juz keeps comin...haha...
i made a big decision during dis gap...by now all shld no wat i did...i didnt regret my decision...but juz disappointed wit how it developed after i made the decision...but o well...its not within my control...
zhenyu was gone for 3 wks n now juz came back...n the most amazin thing is SHIN didnt realli go out...lol...but mostly bcoz of commitments...but well it was a gd way to save money la...but on the sad side...sth is seriously happenin to us...did anyone notice?or juz didnt tink tt anything cld b done...
my search for my stunt of the century is still to no avail...dam...its either too ex or its not to my ideal...i realli do not subsitute my stunt wit another alternative tt i hav juz hatched...but realli its veri hard...man...plus all the stress actin at mi now i realli duno how i managed to breathe...its juz so amazin...
my memory is startin to detioriate again...forgettin a lot of things...god...now i m goin to brainstorm sum stuff tt i need to do...or at least i wan to do...
Things to Blog:
Pay it forword(movie)
Five people you meet in heaven(book)
A time for dancing(book)
dance update
if i oredi blog on pay if forward pls let mi no...10z...
Things to Do:
continue on my song
blogskins(3-YUI, P.S I love you, for zhongyi)
elan
my stunt of the century
i tink tts all for today...not long but i guess its concise enuff to compensate...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
juz now i was packin thru my stuff...den i moved on to my personal cupboard...where i store all my memories...at least the physical ones...photos, letters, presents blah blah blah...
den i found the letters tt my p5 teacher wrote mi when she was studyin in NZ...its been more den a decade la...its so omg...emotions tt hit mi was realli indescribable...i duno how to say...but u guys may tink tt i m being super over...n i oso tink i m...i almost felt lik cryin...its so omg la...
ok juz for a bit of the content wich i found "interesting" dependin on how u look at it..."sam, you have a cute voice. Tts y i put u for tt role."ok i no its -_-...but come to tink of it i dun even no wat role it was la...lol...
memories r realli veri powerful...it realli can make up go to cloud nine...but of course it oso can rip u apart...juz lik when i heard may i love u on the radio juz now as i was bloggin...but none the less...i still leave aside the most space for it...
msg of the day:struggle prolongs denial
recently realli veri bz...wit chingay n UNI...i tink i realli veri stressed out liao...plus office juz increased my workin load...wat could b worse rite?it juz keeps comin...haha...
i made a big decision during dis gap...by now all shld no wat i did...i didnt regret my decision...but juz disappointed wit how it developed after i made the decision...but o well...its not within my control...
zhenyu was gone for 3 wks n now juz came back...n the most amazin thing is SHIN didnt realli go out...lol...but mostly bcoz of commitments...but well it was a gd way to save money la...but on the sad side...sth is seriously happenin to us...did anyone notice?or juz didnt tink tt anything cld b done...
my search for my stunt of the century is still to no avail...dam...its either too ex or its not to my ideal...i realli do not subsitute my stunt wit another alternative tt i hav juz hatched...but realli its veri hard...man...plus all the stress actin at mi now i realli duno how i managed to breathe...its juz so amazin...
my memory is startin to detioriate again...forgettin a lot of things...god...now i m goin to brainstorm sum stuff tt i need to do...or at least i wan to do...
Things to Blog:
Pay it forword(movie)
Five people you meet in heaven(book)
A time for dancing(book)
dance update
if i oredi blog on pay if forward pls let mi no...10z...
Things to Do:
continue on my song
blogskins(3-YUI, P.S I love you, for zhongyi)
elan
my stunt of the century
i tink tts all for today...not long but i guess its concise enuff to compensate...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
juz now i was packin thru my stuff...den i moved on to my personal cupboard...where i store all my memories...at least the physical ones...photos, letters, presents blah blah blah...
den i found the letters tt my p5 teacher wrote mi when she was studyin in NZ...its been more den a decade la...its so omg...emotions tt hit mi was realli indescribable...i duno how to say...but u guys may tink tt i m being super over...n i oso tink i m...i almost felt lik cryin...its so omg la...
ok juz for a bit of the content wich i found "interesting" dependin on how u look at it..."sam, you have a cute voice. Tts y i put u for tt role."ok i no its -_-...but come to tink of it i dun even no wat role it was la...lol...
memories r realli veri powerful...it realli can make up go to cloud nine...but of course it oso can rip u apart...juz lik when i heard may i love u on the radio juz now as i was bloggin...but none the less...i still leave aside the most space for it...
msg of the day:struggle prolongs denial
08 January 2007
a new year...
now i got a chance to blog le...but the prob is...i duno wat to blog abt...or rather i forgot wat i wanted to blog abt...haha...ok la...not realli totally forget...i no i wan to blog abt my new year resolution...but den haven tink of one yet...so cant blog abt it yet...
recently i hav started to giv sum tot to the big stunt i wan to pull off...but den its realli veri hard...n i dun realli hav muc help given the restrictions...i juz hope things fall into place as time passes by...
recently readin 5 ppl u meet in heaven...its realli a brilliant bk...altho i m onli half way thru it...haha...but shld b able to finish soon...haha...after i m done u guys can lend it from mi...haha...i tink zhenyu oredi asked...yu correct not? i tink i will tok more abt the book after i finish it ba...
will b veri bz durin dis 2 mths...so i guess less bloggin ba...o well...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
i dun wan to doubt u...but sumtimes i juz cant help it...
i dun wan to b angry at u...but sumtimes i juz cant control myself...
i dun wan pity or sympathy...i rather let reality n honesty crush on mi...
sumtimes i duno how u tink or feel...but sumtimes i feel as if i live in ur mind...
mayb its mi...mayb its u...
or mayb even neither...but wat can we do...
wats worth wats not....actually it doesnt realli matter...
numbed wit helplessness prone to emotions...eats away each day...
i hope u will b happi...i will b happi too...
i hope u enjoy ur day...i will enjoy mine too...
i hope tt u will always b my hope...i will b urs too...
i hope tt one day u will love mi...i will love u too...
ok...its abit...erm ya...but o well...juz feel lik writin sth...hu noes mayb hope will read it...haha...
msg of the day:COMING SOON:The elanites
recently i hav started to giv sum tot to the big stunt i wan to pull off...but den its realli veri hard...n i dun realli hav muc help given the restrictions...i juz hope things fall into place as time passes by...
recently readin 5 ppl u meet in heaven...its realli a brilliant bk...altho i m onli half way thru it...haha...but shld b able to finish soon...haha...after i m done u guys can lend it from mi...haha...i tink zhenyu oredi asked...yu correct not? i tink i will tok more abt the book after i finish it ba...
will b veri bz durin dis 2 mths...so i guess less bloggin ba...o well...
-----------------------------------------------------
24hr信徒
~~~~~~
i dun wan to doubt u...but sumtimes i juz cant help it...
i dun wan to b angry at u...but sumtimes i juz cant control myself...
i dun wan pity or sympathy...i rather let reality n honesty crush on mi...
sumtimes i duno how u tink or feel...but sumtimes i feel as if i live in ur mind...
mayb its mi...mayb its u...
or mayb even neither...but wat can we do...
wats worth wats not....actually it doesnt realli matter...
numbed wit helplessness prone to emotions...eats away each day...
i hope u will b happi...i will b happi too...
i hope u enjoy ur day...i will enjoy mine too...
i hope tt u will always b my hope...i will b urs too...
i hope tt one day u will love mi...i will love u too...
ok...its abit...erm ya...but o well...juz feel lik writin sth...hu noes mayb hope will read it...haha...
msg of the day:COMING SOON:The elanites
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